T Nation

Crabfest/Las Vegas Night Attire


#1

Okay...I'm going to this crabfest/las vegas night fundraiser at my kid's school. It's all you can eat crabs and bbq and all you can drink beer. There's also gonna be like texas hold 'em and maybe bingo or something like that.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out what to wear. I was thinking I should wear my tuxedo for the las vegas aspect, but I don't really want to pick crabs in a tuxedo...so I was thinking of wearing these great orange shorts I have with a stripey orange/yellow/greenish shirt I have, but I don't really want to look like a beach bum when I'm rolling dice later...does anyone think I should change outfits halfway through the shindig?

I'm taking She Say and 2 of her girlfriends. We're all going to drink rum and tequila by the main pool at Chez Say before the party and then hit the party and then come back to Chez Say for nightcaps and pillowfights. I'm taking suggestions on what the girls should wear also...I'm thinking when we're eating crabs and bbq they should wear sarongs and bikini tops and then black dresses for the Las Vegas thing.

Those of you that know me, know that I am very fashion forward and take this extremely serial. Please let me know what I should wear.

Thanks.


#2

Gangster business casual- silk button down short sleeve shirt and dress slacks. Put plenty of napkins on your lap to avoid spillage from the crab picking. If you’re worried about the shirt, lose it for the picking and have a wife beater on underneath.

The women should be wearing aprons, for they should be in the kitchen getting that stuff ready.


#3

Since you’ll probably have bibs available during the crabfest, wear whatever you want. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to Vegas before, but no one wears tuxes at the crap tables there. How about something simple and foolproof, like a nice, long-sleeved collared shirt and some casual slacks with a decent pair of loafers? Fuck, why am I even responding to this? Wear a fucking toga for all I care. You’re from Wales, right? Dress up like Richard fucking Burton in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf or one of those Biblical movies he was always doing. Dress like a goddamned stork or Santa Claus.


#4

[quote]artw wrote:
Since you’ll probably have bibs available during the crabfest, wear whatever you want. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to Vegas before, but no one wears tuxes at the crap tables there. How about something simple and foolproof, like a nice, long-sleeved collared shirt and some casual slacks with a decent pair of loafers? Fuck, why am I even responding to this? Wear a fucking toga for all I care. You’re from Wales, right? Dress up like Richard fucking Burton in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf or one of those Biblical movies he was always doing. Dress like a goddamned stork or Santa Claus.[/quote]

Hey, hey, why the anger? Don’t hate because I’ll be eating crabs and bbq while playing bingo for real dinero with 3 hot babes…your initial comments were really helpful…do people wear tuxes in Monaco still? I know James Bond always wore a tux when he was winning all kinds of money at the Roulette wheel…

And don’t go running around telling everyone, but I don’t really live in Wales…I’m in Washington, DC, but I can’t list that on my profile due to the sensitive nature of my job.


#5

[quote]artw wrote:
Since you’ll probably have bibs available during the crabfest, wear whatever you want. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to Vegas before, but no one wears tuxes at the crap tables there. How about something simple and foolproof, like a nice, long-sleeved collared shirt and some casual slacks with a decent pair of loafers? Fuck, why am I even responding to this? Wear a fucking toga for all I care. You’re from Wales, right? Dress up like Richard fucking Burton in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf or one of those Biblical movies he was always doing. Dress like a goddamned stork or Santa Claus.[/quote]

Wearing a bib at a crab feast is full of fail.


#6

What kind of school is this? I picture this taking place in my high school cafeteria/gymnasium with some construction paper crabs and dice taped to the wall. Is it at an event center?


#7

I am glad you explained this in depth Sen, because when you have Crabs and Vegas, it paints a whole different picture. I would bust out some nice slacks and a dress shirt, you have the leverage of dressing it up even more with a suit coat and tie if you need to. If not, you are still good to go. Be careful with the crab though, if you get that on your suit, shirt, or slacks, it’s pretty much a done deal.


#8

[quote]HoratioSandoval wrote:
What kind of school is this? I picture this taking place in my high school cafeteria/gymnasium with some construction paper crabs and dice taped to the wall. Is it at an event center?[/quote]

Goddamn you, this is a classy high-profile Catholic school…piss on your cafeteria/gymnasium. There will be 4 fucking generations of catholic sluts in school-girl skirts there serving me and She Say and her 2 girl friends crabs.

I am too drunk to properly internet slap you!


#9

[quote]MaximusB wrote:
I am glad you explained this in depth Sen, because when you have Crabs and Vegas, it paints a whole different picture. I would bust out some nice slacks and a dress shirt, you have the leverage of dressing it up even more with a suit coat and tie if you need to. If not, you are still good to go. Be careful with the crab though, if you get that on your suit, shirt, or slacks, it’s pretty much a done deal. [/quote]

Crabs and Vegas…that was an awful Spring Break.


#10

[quote]sen say wrote:
HoratioSandoval wrote:
What kind of school is this? I picture this taking place in my high school cafeteria/gymnasium with some construction paper crabs and dice taped to the wall. Is it at an event center?

Goddamn you, this is a classy high-profile Catholic school…piss on your cafeteria/gymnasium. There will be 4 fucking generations of catholic sluts in school-girl skirts there serving me and She Say and her 2 girl friends crabs.

I am too drunk to properly internet slap you![/quote]

Heh, well I guess I’ve never seen the inside of a high-profile east-coast high school. I was insinuating that you need to take the location into account as you plan your outfit. You’re going to look weird if you dress far classier than your surroundings.


#11

Tuxedo t-shirt. 'Nuff said.


#12

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Tuxedo t-shirt. 'Nuff said.[/quote]

'cause it says, like, "I want to be formal, but I’m here to party too.


#13

Smart jeans, cool tshirt or dress shirt and suit jacket


#14

[quote]3hitter wrote:
LankyMofo wrote:
Tuxedo t-shirt. 'Nuff said.

'cause it says, like, "I want to be formal, but I’m here to party too.[/quote]

I vote for this, seriously. Of course at the crab feasts I go to it’s wall to wall skynyrd shirts and mullets. Oddly enough that look works for present day Las Vegas as well.


#15

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
3hitter wrote:
LankyMofo wrote:
Tuxedo t-shirt. 'Nuff said.

'cause it says, like, "I want to be formal, but I’m here to party too.

I vote for this, seriously. Of course at the crab feasts I go to it’s wall to wall skynyrd shirts and mullets. Oddly enough that look works for present day Las Vegas as well. [/quote]

The great part about tuxedo t-shirts is that, originally, wearing one meant you were white trash. Now, wearing one means you have an awesome sense of humor.


#16

Hey Gang,

Thanks for all the great suggestions. I went with some nice Tommy Bahama casual slacks and a short-sleeved, casual-button down.

Didn’t get to bang all 3 babes, as the one we’ve hooked up with before had to leave early to go to another party and the other one got nervous at the last minute. Festivities were limited to banging She Say while I spanked her friend’s full round ripeness of hindquarter.

Not sure how the line was drawn at, “Honestly, I think my husband would be really mad if he knew I was naked with you two…can I just watch in my underwear? You can spank me a little also, I guess…”, but dammit that’s where the line was drawn and I’m not going to question.

I’ll post pics of my outfit soon!

Hugs.


#17

you’re fuckin weird dude :wink: with all due respect


#18

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
you’re fuckin weird dude :wink: with all due respect[/quote]

It’s not me…serialy…I just end up in these whacky situations…I’m sure Push would know how to get some drunk, horny dame to give up the skins when she’s agreed to let you spank her panty clad ass while you’re banging your wife…but I’m just not that good…and what the fuck am I supposed to do when I’ve got a good looking woman that wants me to spank her while I’m banging my wife? Tell her, “No madam, that is just too weird.” ???

Thankfully she left before She Say and I woke up and we all had to see each other sober by the light of day…now THAT would have been weird…


#19

but I said with all due respect


#20

[quote]jehovasfitness wrote:
but I said with all due respect [/quote]

Oh I know…it all good yo…I was just feeling a little defensive yesterday…