If this is your way of dealing with shit, its a really bad way.
Everyone has different ways of dealing with stuff, suicide is a pretty shitty way. Ever heard that it takes a strong person to ask for help? Well, suicide isnt help- its pussying out.
I had a very significant loss in my life years ago, it still affects me today. I have never once spoken to a therapist, psychologist, or whatever. I do speak to friends, family, shit, even strangers. I've been told to speak to therapists, but I dont want to. IMO doing something you dont want to wont help the situation. I do suggest you talk to someone who you consider trustworthy and respectful.
If you've ever lost someone close to you, you realize how much it hurts. I'm 100% sure there is someone in your life that, if you were to commit suicide, would experience extreme amounts of hurt. And like previously stated- thats selfish. A problem like this doesnt just involve you- it involves almost everyone whose ever known you.
No matter how you look at it, you need help. Whether you help yourself, get help from someone or something- you still need help. Its also VERY easy to get this help. I suggest you get it, and next time you think about suicide think about your family, friends, teachers, mentors, and peers.