I'm borderline lactose intolerant too: I can't drink milk, but cheese is ok. I have found it is influenced by a few things:
1) I do better with lower fat cottage cheese
2) Different brands affect me differently too (local dairy vs Breakstone's)
3) Quantity consumed in a day (2xday max for me)
Try messing with any or all of these factors. If that fails, perhaps you need to consider probiotics. All said, I have zero medical background, so don't rely on my advice.