T Nation

Cook Turkey the Bill Phillips way

Make sure you plan cooking your turkey 12 weeks ahead. Hang up pictures in your house of the kind of turkey you would like to cook. Every morning for the next 12 weeks when you wake up read your turkey goals out loud and then visulize for at least five minutes of how great your turkey will look. (I’m serious you must do this!) If you want a really big turkey feed the turkey HMB while it is still alive. The turkey will grow huge like its on Deca. Write down 3 new patterns of action that will help you cook a great turkey. For example… For the next 12 weeks I will not have strippers in my bathtub. For the next 12 weeks I will fix all the broken mirrors on my lamborginis. For the next 12 weeks I will not be abusive to my dad or sister. On the day you cook your turkey take plenty of pictures and hang them up in your house. I usually wear my fruit of the looms on turkey day. When your turkey is done celebrate your sucess with family and friends. After these 12 weeks I doubt you will ever cook your turkey any other way again.

Brilliant…Fucking Brilliant!

WOW, Bill Phillips bashing! No way! Very original.

Don’t forget when your turkey is done, take it to the streets. You’ll be stopping traffic!

You just made my day. I had to read the latest Muscle Media for LA Dawg. After about five minutes, as usual, I wanted to scream and flush it down the toilet. Good jab at BP/MM.