T Nation


ok, here is my problem, i know a bunch of you t-men out there must share this same problem, maybe someone can help me out. i have trouble talking to girls and initiating conversation with them. 98% of my thoughts are on girls, training, and nutrition, all topics they dont wanna hear about. so i sit there, introduce myself, and cant figure out what to say next with the only thing coming to mind is wow that protein shake i just had isnt mixing with this beer. they dont wanna hear that. whats a good rap i can use on girls when i first meet them?

So, I’m going to answer this on two fronts. First, the nervousless end (though you didn’t say this was a problem, I’ll keep it brief). Learn the art of striking up conversations WHEREVER YOU GO. That’s right, with anyone, male or female, with no agenda. Small talk. Little one liners to see if the person is receptive to talking. If they aren’t, don’t push it. If they are, just play along. Anything, like “Jeez, can you believe this weather?” or anything as trivial. These are called ice-breakers. Now, if it’s just that you don’t have anything to open a conversation with, well, the same opening lines can work, but a more effective way is to ask something about them that doesn’t have a “yes” or “no” answer, but needs more of an answer. Can be anything like what they’re wearing, to hair, you name it. Make it complimentary. Be interested. Make the conversation about them.

Just ask them questions. Most women love talking about themselves. You can usually weed out the bad ones too, they are the ones who ONLY talk about themselves and never ask any questions, that means they aren’t interested or just self absorbed. Make it non intimidating. Making just a few comments to everyone will make you seem just like you are a nice guy, not like you are picking them up. And the biggest thing NEVER TALK ABOUT SEX. Something else I find interesting is to watch those dating type shows on tv, if you are home during the day time. You can pick up things what to do and what not to do by observing the girl. The bad thing is, she will usually just pick the good looking one. And they don’t care about looks, yeah right.

Just combine all you thought that you naturaly have and itll work out fine, somethin like:
Hay baby you are so fine i want to pour milk on you and use you in my next protein shake, this will fuell my fire and blaze my guns, better than soy, cause it gives me the runs. girls love to hear stoopid shit from big good looking guys, im sure you should be better then most at metting them, just relax.

If the only thing on your mind is a protein shake or working out, you’re going to have a tough time having a conversation about anything else.

So I am assuming you are having trouble talking to them at a bar. So you introduce yourself and then just sit there. Ok how about? Are you having fun? Who did you come here with tonight? This drink (insert the name of what u are drinking if it isn’t beer) is pretty good, you should try one. When she orders a drink ask her how it is. It sure is (insert crowded, load, bad music, good music, etc.) here tonight. I try and stay away from the old where do you work, where are you from, etc. Try not and go talk to her while your buddies are watching. Make it just casual, not like you are trying to pick her up, just being a friendly guy, like you are to everyone. You don’t have to pick her up there and then, you can start a nice conversation go off for a little while and see if she is checking you out later, if she is go back and start another conversation. Are the (drink name) getting any better? Have you friends ditched you (say joking, this is if she is still sitting by herself.) My friends do it to me too. It is easy, like the other poster said just be a nice guy to everyone, then you will get a nice guy reputation.

Ok just look her in the eye and say “Say girl, why don’t you sit on my lap and we can talk about what comes up.” haa haaaaa. Damn I am funny. Seriously, just talk to them and be you. Talk to them like you would anyone else. They will find you out soon enough so do not bother with a front. Just be you if it was meant it will happen if not you are no worse off than before. If that doesn’t work for you and you really just want sex then tell them what they want to hear. Peace, K

No no he’s gotta say should we go on a date 1st or do you want to have sex right away?

I’d say be yourself, but you don’t sound very interesting. HA j/k. Sounds like to you need to branch out a little, get some new interests.