T Nation

Constitution Version 2.0

We the Republicans of the United States, in Order to prevent any challenge to our continued Supremacy, free ourselves from the Confines of Justice, placate the Tranquil masses, degrade the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of War Profiteering for ourselves and our Friends, do ordain and establish Constitution 2.0 for the United States of America.

ARTICLE I
Section 1
All legislative Powers are hereby ceded to the Executive branch, though the Congress will still make a Grand Noise and wave their arms as if they give a Damn.
Section 2
The House of Representatives will consist of those best able to Lick the Boots of the Lobbyists and Corporations lining their pockets.

No one can be a Representative unless Fox News says that he is a Patriotic American,

Representation shall be apportioned based on numbers of people willing to Pay for the Privilege. The actual Enumeration shall be made whenever it is of benefit to Republicans.

Representatives will choose a Speaker and other Officers by how willing these Officers are to turn a blind eye to the Crimes of Republicans and how Loudly they will Declare the Daily Talking Points.

Section 3
The Senate shall… oh hell, just see Section 1.

The Vice President shall be President of the Senate and can use any Four Letter Word he wants in talking to Senators, so F-You, Leahy.

Section 4
Elections will be held whenever Diebold is prepared to provide the Right Results.

Section 5
Each House shall make a mockery of policing itself and shall be free to throw out all the Democrats they want, but Republicans who engage in Pederasty shall be protected.

Section 6
Republican Senators and Representatives will enjoy a Revolving Door of organizations who pay for votes, and give them jobs any time they are taking a break.

Section 7
The House and Senate shall apply a large Rubber Stamp to every suggestion issued by the President.

Section 8
The House shall raise all the taxes they want on the poor and middle-class so long as they leave the Rich alone.

The Congress will dodge all responsibility for decisions on War.

Section 9
The rules of Immigration shall be set in a way that protects Republican majorities.

Section 10
Any treaties are not worth the paper they are Written on.

ARTICLE II
Section 1
The President can do anything he wants, that’s what’s good about being President. Heh heh.

Section 2
The President can wear any uniform he wants and pretend to fly planes.

Section 3
The President and the Congress should split some beers now and then, but he doesn’t have to invite any Democrats.

Section 4
Having sex is a good Reason to get rid of a President. Lying, being Incompetent, Wasting Billions, and getting Thousands of Americans Killed, is fine.

ARTICLE III
This Article was full of that Judge stuff, so we just took it out.

ARTICLE IV
We can declare any place we want part of the United States so they can call their stuff “Made in the USA,” but don’t go thinking they get representation.

ARTICLE V
Amendments to the Constitution will only be for Really Important Stuff, like how scared we are of Homos and Foreign People.

ARTICLE VI
You can ignore any part of this Constitution if it gets in the way of Profit or something that gets Republicans elected.

ARTICLE VII
People are supposed to be afraid all the Time, otherwise they do too damn much Thinking.

[quote]harris447 wrote:
We the Republicans of the United States, in Order to prevent any challenge to our continued Supremacy, free ourselves from the Confines of Justice, placate the Tranquil masses, degrade the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of War Profiteering for ourselves and our Friends, do ordain and establish Constitution 2.0 for the United States of America.

ARTICLE I
Section 1
All legislative Powers are hereby ceded to the Executive branch, though the Congress will still make a Grand Noise and wave their arms as if they give a Damn.
Section 2
The House of Representatives will consist of those best able to Lick the Boots of the Lobbyists and Corporations lining their pockets.

No one can be a Representative unless Fox News says that he is a Patriotic American,

Representation shall be apportioned based on numbers of people willing to Pay for the Privilege. The actual Enumeration shall be made whenever it is of benefit to Republicans.

Representatives will choose a Speaker and other Officers by how willing these Officers are to turn a blind eye to the Crimes of Republicans and how Loudly they will Declare the Daily Talking Points.

Section 3
The Senate shall… oh hell, just see Section 1.

The Vice President shall be President of the Senate and can use any Four Letter Word he wants in talking to Senators, so F-You, Leahy.

Section 4
Elections will be held whenever Diebold is prepared to provide the Right Results.

Section 5
Each House shall make a mockery of policing itself and shall be free to throw out all the Democrats they want, but Republicans who engage in Pederasty shall be protected.

Section 6
Republican Senators and Representatives will enjoy a Revolving Door of organizations who pay for votes, and give them jobs any time they are taking a break.

Section 7
The House and Senate shall apply a large Rubber Stamp to every suggestion issued by the President.

Section 8
The House shall raise all the taxes they want on the poor and middle-class so long as they leave the Rich alone.

The Congress will dodge all responsibility for decisions on War.

Section 9
The rules of Immigration shall be set in a way that protects Republican majorities.

Section 10
Any treaties are not worth the paper they are Written on.

ARTICLE II
Section 1
The President can do anything he wants, that’s what’s good about being President. Heh heh.

Section 2
The President can wear any uniform he wants and pretend to fly planes.

Section 3
The President and the Congress should split some beers now and then, but he doesn’t have to invite any Democrats.

Section 4
Having sex is a good Reason to get rid of a President. Lying, being Incompetent, Wasting Billions, and getting Thousands of Americans Killed, is fine.

ARTICLE III
This Article was full of that Judge stuff, so we just took it out.

ARTICLE IV
We can declare any place we want part of the United States so they can call their stuff “Made in the USA,” but don’t go thinking they get representation.

ARTICLE V
Amendments to the Constitution will only be for Really Important Stuff, like how scared we are of Homos and Foreign People.

ARTICLE VI
You can ignore any part of this Constitution if it gets in the way of Profit or something that gets Republicans elected.

ARTICLE VII
People are supposed to be afraid all the Time, otherwise they do too damn much Thinking.

[/quote]

Maybe you should become a citizen of France instead of the US, you would fit right in.

[quote]Lorisco wrote:

Maybe you should become a citizen of France instead of the US, you would fit right in.

[/quote]

Maybe you should become a citizen of Iran instead of the US, you would fit right in.

On a serious note, any politician who wants to alter the Constitution to reflect a partisan viewpoint, should be kicked to the curb. A good example is the proposd Constitutional ban on gay marriage. It doesn’t matter what your point of view is on gay marriage… it’s simply not an issue that deserves a revision of the Constitution.

What we don’t want is for the Constitution to be tampered with every couple of years, based on whoever happens to be the majority… changed back and forth, like a political football. That would make a mockery of our political system.

[quote]Brad61 wrote:
On a serious note, any politician who wants to alter the Constitution to reflect a partisan viewpoint, should be kicked to the curb. A good example is the proposd Constitutional ban on gay marriage. It doesn’t matter what your point of view is on gay marriage… it’s simply not an issue that deserves a revision of the Constitution.

What we don’t want is for the Constitution to be tampered with every couple of years, based on whoever happens to be the majority… changed back and forth, like a political football. That would make a mockery of our political system.
[/quote]

I take it you’re against judges reading new rights into the Constitution as well?

[quote]harris447 wrote:
We the Republicans of the United States, in Order to prevent any challenge to our continued Supremacy, free ourselves from the Confines of Justice, placate the Tranquil masses, degrade the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of War Profiteering for ourselves and our Friends, do ordain and establish Constitution 2.0 for the United States of America…[/quote]

Leave it to the Republicans to take some intiative and the Democrats to sit on their thumbs.

[quote]lucasa wrote:
harris447 wrote:
We the Republicans of the United States, in Order to prevent any challenge to our continued Supremacy, free ourselves from the Confines of Justice, placate the Tranquil masses, degrade the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of War Profiteering for ourselves and our Friends, do ordain and establish Constitution 2.0 for the United States of America…

Leave it to the Republicans to take some intiative and the Democrats to sit on their thumbs.[/quote]

Holy shit! Did you actually realize this was…you know, a joke?

How dare you maintain any sense of humor on the Politics page!

Damn straight! let’s kick those Rebulican bastards to the curb! We know that Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and Howard Dean, will certainly do a better job than those Republican scum. Afterall, one of them sent perverted e-mails to a teen, so all Republicans are evil. That’s a good reason to vote in people who’ll do it right — raise taxes, bring back the draft, protect us from terrorists…

Damn good post, Harris!!

[quote]harris447 wrote:
lucasa wrote:
harris447 wrote:
We the Republicans of the United States, in Order to prevent any challenge to our continued Supremacy, free ourselves from the Confines of Justice, placate the Tranquil masses, degrade the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of War Profiteering for ourselves and our Friends, do ordain and establish Constitution 2.0 for the United States of America…

Leave it to the Republicans to take some intiative and the Democrats to sit on their thumbs.

Holy shit! Did you actually realize this was…you know, a joke?

How dare you maintain any sense of humor on the Politics page!
[/quote]

I think lucasa was joking too…

[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
Brad61 wrote:
On a serious note, any politician who wants to alter the Constitution to reflect a partisan viewpoint, should be kicked to the curb. A good example is the proposd Constitutional ban on gay marriage. It doesn’t matter what your point of view is on gay marriage… it’s simply not an issue that deserves a revision of the Constitution.

What we don’t want is for the Constitution to be tampered with every couple of years, based on whoever happens to be the majority… changed back and forth, like a political football. That would make a mockery of our political system.

I take it you’re against judges reading new rights into the Constitution as well?[/quote]

Our legislatures need to grow a pair and quit leaving up to the courts to decide.

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Damn straight! let’s kick those Rebulican bastards to the curb! We know that Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and Howard Dean, will certainly do a better job than those Republican scum. Afterall, one of them sent perverted e-mails to a teen, so all Republicans are evil. That’s a good reason to vote in people who’ll do it right — raise taxes, bring back the draft, protect us from terrorists…

Damn good post, Harris!![/quote]

The point is not Foley but the GOP’s inaction. The GOP leadership knew about this at the beginning of this year at the very latest and did nothing. I believe Delay had them distracted.

[quote]harris447 wrote:

Holy shit! Did you actually realize this was…you know, a joke?

How dare you maintain any sense of humor on the Politics page!
[/quote]

I dunno, HH’s response was pretty funny. Especially the part where he has to clarify that not all Republicans are pedophiles nor evil. The extremely defensive, almost paranoid nature of the post makes you wonder if the post was a Freudian Slip and maybe he has something to hide…

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Damn straight! let’s kick those Rebulican bastards to the curb! We know that Ted Kennedy, Nancy Pelosi, and Howard Dean, will certainly do a better job than those Republican scum. Afterall, one of them sent perverted e-mails to a teen, so all Republicans are evil. That’s a good reason to vote in people who’ll do it right — raise taxes, bring back the draft, protect us from terrorists…

Damn good post, Harris!![/quote]

First off, I was being sarcastic and congratulating Lucasa for getting the satirical nature of the OP.

Second, this constant bullshit that Republicans will “protect” us better than Dems is just fucking idiotic.

[quote]lucasa wrote:
harris447 wrote:

Holy shit! Did you actually realize this was…you know, a joke?

How dare you maintain any sense of humor on the Politics page!

I dunno, HH’s response was pretty funny. [/quote]

He (lucasa) can be taught!!!

[quote]tme wrote:
Lorisco wrote:

Maybe you should become a citizen of France instead of the US, you would fit right in.

Maybe you should become a citizen of Iran instead of the US, you would fit right in.

[/quote]

If it was up to the Dems like you, you would be a citizen of Iran after they took over the US with Nukes while the Dems bent over and stated; thank you sir my I have another!

You are just like the French who cut the US down for our tactics and don’t realize that it was these very tactics that allowed them to keep their country.

[quote]harris447 wrote:
Second, this constant bullshit that Republicans will “protect” us better than Dems is just fucking idiotic.
[/quote]

The Republicans, that rings a bell.

Aren’t they the Family Values Party?

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
lucasa wrote:
harris447 wrote:

Holy shit! Did you actually realize this was…you know, a joke?

How dare you maintain any sense of humor on the Politics page!

I dunno, HH’s response was pretty funny.

He (lucasa) can be taught!!!

[/quote]

The fact that you didn’t get that he was mocking you makes me so happy.

[quote]Lorisco wrote:
tme wrote:
Lorisco wrote:

Maybe you should become a citizen of France instead of the US, you would fit right in.

Maybe you should become a citizen of Iran instead of the US, you would fit right in.

If it was up to the Dems like you, you would be a citizen of Iran after they took over the US with Nukes while the Dems bent over and stated; thank you sir my I have another!

You are just like the French who cut the US down for our tactics and don’t realize that it was these very tactics that allowed them to keep their country.

[/quote]

Seriously: you’re 17, right? No adult could be this moronic.

[quote]harris447 wrote:
Seriously: you’re 17, right? No adult could be this moronic.[/quote]

I was thinking 14, maybe 15 at best.

[quote]tme wrote:
harris447 wrote:
Seriously: you’re 17, right? No adult could be this moronic.

I was thinking 14, maybe 15 at best.

[/quote]

You were thinking? Must be a first!

As for harris, he is a well known troll around here. I wouldn’t jump on his side too quickly if I were you.