WASHINGTON - Cell phone calls on airplanes in flight are not only unsafe, they’re obnoxious and they should be permanently banned, according to some members of Congress.
House members, most of whom board airplanes almost every week, traded horror stories Thursday about their worst experiences with annoying fellow passengers who talk loudly on cell phones before takeoff and after landing. One lawmaker said his wife sat next to a woman who loudly discussed her sex life on the phone.
Let’s ban fat people first, they make my eyes hurt. Or people that talk too loud to the person RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. And ugly people are pretty offensive too, so let’s ban Neph from flying.
I once saw a flight attendant take out her cell phone and start talking to someone while we were making our final approach. I’m pretty sure that’s not allowed.
I think this is a good law for efficiency sake. If people were able to chat on phones for hours on end, then sooner or later I would be seated next to a douchebag who wanted to sound important or a pointless chit-chaterrer and I would be forced to stab this person. repeatedly. I might take the phone and beat them in the head with it first, but with phones getting smaller and smaller that gets awkward.
I would probably go for the decapitation ala Greyhound after making a pincushion of the fucker and if the douchebag had shoelaces I would hang the severed head from the overhead bins with the remnants of the phone tied in place to warn others of the price of being such an inconsiderate cocksucker in a confined space.
So unless you want flights forced to land early and unexpected dry cleaning bills, this law is a good idea.