Confused and Need Help, Everything Contradicts Itself

I can sympathize. I was in your shoes when I started lifting forever ago. The reason why everything seems to contradict itself is several fold:

  1. Each cardio and training type has its own advantages and disadvantages, and is useful in certain circumstances and less useful in others. It’s all a trade-off. This is the living embodiment of that most dreaded answer to any question: “It depends…” This means look at context, the big picture, to try to see where things fit and don’t fit and who they are likely to work best for. This takes time and practice and reading, and there’s no way around it. Sure you can hire a coach and a good coach can cut years off your time to progress but at the end of the day you still have to practice trial and error to find out for yourself, somehow.

  2. Science isn’t carved in stone–it is extraordinarily dirty, messy, contradictory, and gray area. I blame the media coverage for much of the confusion because they present eveything like it is the absolute end of the discussion…until 2 weeks or 1 month from now when they present some other study as the final word. Truth is there is context to each study and science doesn’t always–or even mostly–agree on everything.

  3. A lot of these kinds of articles are written with one specifc type of person in mind, or covering a specific scientific study. Refer back to 2)…science disagrees all the time, so some science does contradict itself. It’s a necessary evil while evolving.

  4. Each person is different. A big, obese dude with bad knees is not going to get advice from me to go jog. That will kill his knees. He’s also not going to get advice to run sprints–he is incapable of doing that and may injure himself. A small, tiny guy (or girl) with good knees who loves running may get advice from me to run sprints or run several miles because they enjoy it. A bodybuilder will not do the same kind of cardio that a track athlete or crossfit person will because his goals aren’t the same. You are not the same as some 225 lb bodybuilder. Again, this takes practice and TIME to learn where you fall. It’s like music–the rules to music are pretty clear but there are tons of different styles and they all appeal to different people.

In regards to your question on calories and such, it really depends on a) where you came from b) how long you’ve been doing this and c) what you do for training. Also d) how you feel.

The short answer is I would expect fat loss on your diet if you are new to it and training hard. If you have been at that level for months, then probably not: your body has adapted.

I would raise your fat no matter what. Typically the lowest I like to go with clients is about 35% of your bodyweight (~40 g for you). This is for sustained periods of time. For short periods it can be lower. Again that’s a ballpark and not a hard rule, but I think your fat is too low.

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Two part answer: 1) it depends on what you were ACTUALLY eating before you cut calories. If you were actually eating 1400, then 1300 will see a gradual drop. If you were eating 1625 or more, then 1300 is a huge first drop and you should see progress but it is too much for my comfort personally speaking. If this was not your first cut in calories and you’ve been eating this level for a while and plateaued, then there is typically more happening. 2) you typically do not want to cut out 20% or more of your calories in one go. See below

This is very true. A person eating more is less hungry, less irritable, carries more muscle relatively speaking, and less prone to cheats and binges. Creating the deficit through activity is much preferable as a first move. IF (big if) you were eating maintenance at 1625 calories, then you could jump your expenditure up by doing very intense activity (say go from 1625 to 2000 TDEE) and keep eating 1625 calories to lose weight initially. Yes, it will likely be slow. Naturally there are only so many hours in a day and there has to be a ceiling with work schedules etc. so at some point some calorie drop will usually happen.

The key isn’t the specific number, its the fact that there is a deficit. You can either add activity (time, intensity, frequency, etc), or cut intake.

The acronyms can get confusing. BMR is basal metabolic rate. It is the amount of calories you burn not doing anything but sitting on the couch. Just maintaining your body’s functions at rest.

TDEE is Total daily energy expenditure, or something close (unless I am missing my guess, been a long day and I’m a bit slow). It is BMR + some adjustment for activity levels in calore burning to estimate your total intake for maintenance.

In general unless you are extremely overweight eating only the BMR number is not a great plan, or sustainable.

The drawback to these formulas of course is that 1) they can only be estimates since people genetics and histories and work and schedules and definitions of intense activity are all different. 2) They assume a normal “bell curve” sort of general population thing so they aren’t as accurate for really really active people or athletes. Use them as guidelines but not hard accurate “rules”

If you would be willing to help me get a plan together, I would really appreciate it because I"m tired of doing low fat (which muscleforlife.com suggested and I’m tired of eating low. . . I think I need to reverse diet back up. That’s just me.

Honestly I am very willing to help out, but I would need you to take the lead on it. This is mostly because I both have a full time academic research job and also train athletes and clients for a living. Putting a whole plan together is extremely time consuming–but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to help. I can give advice guidance and ideas, as can a lot of really good posters here.

I will say: fat is not “bad”. Neither is it all good. You need a certain minimum amount of fat in your diet to help maintain joints, connective tissues, nerve sheathes, immune function, and a whole host of other things.

I would begin by listing the following:

how long you’ve been eating 1300/day, and also any adjustments you made before that. Include your starting amount before the diet
(example: eaten 1300 cals for 3 weeks in a row now, before that I ate 1500 for x weeks, before that…started at x cals)

weight at the start of the diet
weight now
weight loss by week since the start of the diet

Then I would list when you added cardio/HIIT in and how much
(started at 2x a week cardio, 3 weeks later added x…etc)

Laying it out this way allows you to see if changes in training or eating are followed by changes in fat.

It also makes you aware of gaps you don’t notice going day-to-day, or as you’re changing stuff during the week.

Finally, control your water and salt intake. Fluctuations in weight are likely to be due to fluctuations in the amount of water you drink (one day you get a gallon, the next day 1.5 gallons, the day after only 2 liters, etc) and the amount of sodium you eat. That doesn’t mean go low sodium, that means keep it relatively consistent day to day. Same thing can happen with sodium that happens with water intake. Find a comfortable level of water intake and and salt and keep it consistent and your weight fluctuations will magically decrease.

Training hard and daily you don’t need to worry about sodium levels as you are likely sweating it out in exercise. So you can add a small amount of sodium to each meal if you want (like 1/8 teaspoon or something). Not required, just letting you know you don’t need to worry about sodium as an active person unless it is outrageous.

THanks, any little advice/suggestions is appreciated. I don’t expect a full plan from ya as that’s expensive and time consuming, but whatever you can give to help me out, God bless you!! As far as what you asked me, here goes:
in April I went to a personal trainer/lifter guy who charged me tons of money. on his scale I weighed 116 pounds/117 on my scale. HE put me on a 1150 diet and i stuck to it and he had me do one leg day and one arm day a week, and they totally wooped my butt. I stuck to the diet and had one cheat meal a week. and 4 days a week of normal walking for 40 minutes. Then he told me to drop down to 950 calories 5 days a week and 1150 two days a week (weight days) that was three weeks later. I said, heck no. I had dropped maybe 1.5 pounds in my time with him. Then I went back to maintenance, at 1700 calories, and went back to my normal weigh and maybe another pound 118-119.
I began doing 3 day total body workouts, and 3 days of 28 minute interval training and 2 days of 60 minute walks. In June (beginning) I was not happy with my gut (never have been) and went to 1300 ( and I’ll be honest, with all the conflicting info and suggestions, I vary, I get frustrated and do 1600, then I go back to 1300, then others tell me its too low and I go to 1400.) That’s how June went. with no weight changes and no measurement changes either. My abdomen (at )navel is 29.5 inches upon waking.

Now I"m back at 1400 calories/ 134 g protein, 139 carbs, and 34 grams of fat. 4 days of weights, 2 arms/2legs and 3 days of walking 60 minutes/ 2-3 days of intervalls, not really HIIT

Ok, I’m finishing up work for the night so I will get back to this tomorrow.

Good news is your weight is stable–the starvation diet that moron trainer put you on didn’t lead to huge rebound when you came off of it.

Bad news is, of course, your weight is stable ;). Still, you should not be unhappy with where you are ok? You’re not in a bad spot physique wise even though you are frustrated.

I will need to see details of your interval training sessions (detailed, speeds/resistance if used, etc).

Also weights on each day: sets/reps/ weight used. You can just bullet point that/list it, it’s easier that way than paragraph form.

Reverse dieting is a much smarter way to increase calories in your particular position, so good on you for taking that gradual route.

Just to touch back on this though the guys have addressed it already, try not to look at them as “contradictory” but more like “lots of different ways work”. Like with cooking, people have their own recipes for meatballs. You ask me, all beef and cooked in the sauce. Ask someone else, beef-pork mix baked first then put in sauce. Ask another person, get a different answer. But they all lead to the same end result. One’s not “more right” than the other and you won’t necessarily go wrong with any one as long as it has been shown to actually produce the result you’re looking for.

[quote=“mamaherrera, post:26, topic:219095”]
4 days of weights, 2 arms/2legs and 3 days of walking 60 minutes/ 2-3 days of intervalls, not really HIIT[/quote]
Not to step on Aragorn’s toes or emphasize training over the nutrition, but definitely lay out more detail of your workouts. Particular the specifics of the weight training days and what days you’re doing everything. Like are you doing the intervals right after lifting, etc.

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DETaILS
ok son on Mondays and Thursdays: I do arms:
narrow lat pull (72.5 pounds) 3 sets of 10-12
Then reverse fly (35 lbs) 3X12
Chest press machine (15 lbs each side) 3X10-12
Pec Dec (12.5 lbs/each hand) 3X10-12
I circuit through those and do one minute of cardio at the end of the whole circuit

Seated lateral raise (7.5lbsX2) 3X10-12
Preacher curl (35 lbs on machine) 3X10-12
Hammer curl (12.5 lbs/hand) 3X10-12
Circuit through those and 1 minute cardio

Cable upright row (15 lbs) 3X10-12
DB tricep kickback 15lbs/hand 3X10-12
Single DB cable tricep 15 lbs. 3X10-12
circuit through and 1 minute cardio

ABS 3 sets of 20 crunches on machine
3 sets of 20 crunches on ball with weight
3 1 minute. planks
3 minutes flutter kicks
I’ll either walk 60 minute in the AM and do this in the pM or I do my cardio after the lifting

Tuesday and Friday
LEGS
squat 40 lbs 3X5
leg steps alternate 7.5 lbs/hand 3X10
leg steps stationary 7.5 lbs/hand 3X10
glute blaster 35 lbs 3X10
ball squat with hold 12.5 pounds/hand 3X12-15
circuit through and 1 minute cardio
sumo squat 20/lbs/ 3X12-15
leg press 90 lbs 3X12-15
leg extension 35 pounds 3X12-15
leg curl 40 lbs 3X12-15
cardio way earlier and this in the pM or cardio after either 60 minute walk or 28 minute intervals which are like this video

20 Minutes Total Body KICKBOXING! (Fat Burning Workout) - YouTube

or jog/faster running intervals

950 calories a day? Jesus. That’s criminal. No wonder so many women have messed up metabolisms.

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"m still really upset about it. I was so excited about these results I thought I was going to get with him and all I got was poorer. … I reported him to BBB. I don’t trust anyone to personal train me any more for $. It’s sad.

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Well, I am on my phone but I know your problem. Your training is, shall we say, sub-optimal. In short it is too light, too little and the organization needs a LOT of work.

But don’t feel too bad, this happens to a lot of women through confusion and misunderstanding.

Assuming you are healthy and have no injuries holding you back you should be doing a LOT heavier weight training. I am mot sayong this to make you feel bad, just to get a little bit of perapective, a current client of mine is a 46 year old female professor, proportionately built about like you except 4 inches taller, and is squatting 135 for 4 x 6-8 and lunging with 35-40 lb dumbbells in each hand for sets of 8.

Naturally she didnt start there! Honestly I love her to death but she couldn’t even do a bodyweight lunge without toppling over when she started her balance was so bad lol. So don’t fret. But yes, you need to improve your training intensity quite a bit provided you are healthy. This is a very common point of confusion with a lot of women I run across.

More later

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cool but just to let you know. My knee tracking is terrible, weak glutes that don’t activate which is why I do low weight squats so that I can get my form down. Otherwise I get knee pain. ANd with the arm days, something I am doing there is causing me pain, which means bad form and I can’t figure out what is in, but it’s a pinge in the right shoulder blade. Those are my only limitations and it limits me that I can’t sprint for intervals even though I’d like to. but any help/ suggestions you can make great. And thanks. If i keep things light, one reason is because I"m training on my own and have no one to monitor my form, so I take the side of caution to avoid NEW injuries as the current things I have (knee/shoulder) have kept me off all training in the past so I don’t want to go there. But I"m always willing to try as long as it’s not too crazy.

What’s scary is that this is pretty common. It’s frighteningly common actually, and makes me angry just thinking about it.

Yes I’ve found other women who have gone through the same experiences. . . . it makes you lose faith and you just figure there’s no way to lose these last 2 pounds of stubborn fat

That’s fine! That’s why I mentioned “if” you were healthy and injury free. Squats are great but they aren’t the only thing to do and they don’t even have to be done.

If you’re going to squat I suggest goblet squats (look for the Dan John video on youtube if you want a visual–a lot of random videos out there with questionable form). The balance point makes it easier to keep good form, somewhat self-correcting in nature, and if you get outmatched you can just drop the dumbbell or kettlebell and be safe rather than crushed. Order of increasing difficulty in technique on squats is roughly goblet squat → front squat → back squat.

Do you do any glute activation work in your warm-up? do you do a warm-up that addresses your weak areas at all in general?

Most people who have sleepy glutes and bad knee tracking also have a) short and/or tight hip flexors b) short and/or tight femoral adductors c) weak abs and d) limited calf mobility and flexibility. Naturally it is near impossible to randomly diagnose someone on the internet so I am just giving you the most likely list of the usual suspects to look into. Look into Kelly Starrett as a resource on youtube for increasing mobility in areas and such. Lots to learn but as a starting point you really can’t go wrong for good info with him.

I would be suggesting something along these lines for warm-up:

quadriceps stretch (start easy and get more intense)
plank x 30 seconds AND dead bugs x 10 reps per side (use an easy version of this and work up over time to advanced versions)
lunge position hip flexor stretch x 3 reps per side – look up at Kelly Starrett, but short of it is don’t sag your back, keep your abs and glutes squeezed hard and active
sidelying clam shells (don’t worry, just look for a video) x 10 reps per side
glute bridges x 10 reps with 3 second active squeeze in peak contraction (also be squeezing your abs hard while you hold the lockout, like if you were planking)
banded monster walks x 10 reps per side --LEGS STRAIGHT, not bent. Try to slide sideways staying even
face pulls x 10 per side. Focus hard on your back between your shoulder blades and keep your abs and glutes squeezed hard and actively (sensing a theme here?)

x 3 circuits through, and don’t rest between. Hold stretches for about 20-30 seconds. Do this EVERY day you do any weights, at least. Maybe 6 days per week as warm-up for cardio too.

hip flexors and glutes are opposites–when one contracts the other should relax/stretch. When hip flexors won’t do either…glutes are sleepy.
abs and glutes are teammates—squeezing both gives a 1 + 1 = 3 kind of scenario with muscle activation.
quads and hip flexors are teammates–when one is too tight or short, the other is usually as well.
the outside of your hip (glute medius) and the glute maximus are teammates. outside of your hip controls knee tracking and balance to a large degree. when side of your hip is sleepy glutes typically are and vice versa.
adductors and glute medius are opposites–tight and short adductors inhibit glute medius and therefore good knee tracking.

Now you see why I am recommending the stretches and exercises I did. Stretch and lengthen the tight and short, exercise the sleepy and inactive and/or weak.

Note here I mean squeezing abs like for planks or to shove someone, not like in a crunch or sit up

For legs you need to start every workout with some glute movement—NOT on a machine.

So Workout:

Superset:
cable pull-throughs 4 x 12 with a 2 second hold and squeeze of the abs and glutes at rep lockout
goblet squats 4 x 6 with a 2 second pause in the bottom – use Dan John as a guide on technique
during rest interval: sideways monster walks x 6 per side

Superset 2:
Weighted Hip thrusts 4 x 10 --heavy as possible with a hold at top and squeeze of abs/glutes
Stationary Reverse lunges with dumbbells 4 x 8 per leg – focus on outside of hip firing hard (same part that should be burning in monster walks.)
during rest interval: Roman chair leg raises x 8 with squeeze at top–AVOID hip flexors working. If you can’t feel your abs and you only feel hip flexors, or mostly, use a different exercise

Superset 3:
dumbbell romanian deadlift 4 x 10 heavy, focusing on glute squeeze
dumbbell step-ups 4 x 8 per leg heavy – focus on pulling yourself UP with your heel, not pushing off with your ground foot. Again glute squeeze and outside of hip focus.
during rest interval: stir the pot ab exercise

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Last exercise of the day would be back extensions with glute squeeze for 3 x 12-15.

All of these exercises should leave you with no more than 2 reps in reserve… if it says 4 x 8 it should be physically impossible for you to do more than 10 reps with the weight you’re using.

Except warm-ups, which are supposed to be about warming up and not getting close to failure. And except for goblet squats, which you should load close to failure only after mastering Dan John’s technique.

and that was a complete legs routine, right?? is an arms one coming, or did you think my arm workout was sufficient? I Like how you have the abs stuff in the rest time. … and I know what you mean on most of the stuff. … . Do you think I should 2 days legs/2 days arms or are these meant for 3 total body??

and one more thing: my deadlift form is still not safe yet. . . too scared to do it heavy?? what to do? I love deadlifts but my spotters have told me I found my back, so I don’t want to do heavy till i quit doing that. any alternatives?