T Nation

Confessions

Something I received that amused me, especially with regard to all these stupid conspiracy theories I’ve been seeing but have been too tired to respond to for the 5th time:

"Dear lefty friends:

I have a confession to make. I’ll probably be booted out of the Republican party for this, but it has to be said. First, I would like to congratulate you. You were all very close to the truth with your criticisms of the president. You, however, forgot some important factors in your critiques. We in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy all know the truth. God help us all, here it is: It is about oil, but not for Halliburton. Halliburton’s a load of crap. It’s just a front for the Trilateralists. George H. W. Bush is simply getting his son to grease the palms of his old CIA chums.

"'But that is simply ancillary. The real reason why we’re going to war is that the Skull and Bones want the skull of Hamurabbi, and the Iraqis refuse to give it to them. Bush, being a Bonesman, is intent to revive the glory of his secret society. It is this Yale conspiracy which has National Review and Buckley leading the fight for the war. Also pulling the strings are the Zionists. Why do you think our own Robbie George opposes the Church and supports the war? It is because the Jews have poisoned his mind with Zionist lies. Plus, since Bush is a born-again Christian, he’ll share the desire to exterminate all Moslems, secretly held by all Jews. Why do you think the Evangelicals support Israel? The holocaust will start with the ‘mad Arab’ Abizaid, our Number 2 man in CentCom. (Keep that one on the DL, he doesn’t know the truth.)

“'But Trilateralists, Bonesmen, the Elders of Zion, who are they to dictate American policy? They are nothing compared to the real head of state: Bush’s distant cousin, Queen Elizabeth II. When the dust is cleared, and the oil is stolen, the bones confiscated, and the Moslems dead, the Faisal family will be reinstated to rule the region. The English are very chummy with their old allies and want them back in power. That is why we were fighting. (N.B., we on the right are far more openminded than you all think. When the war is over, and Bush is Caesar, he will be assassinated, having outlived his usefulness. We’re handing the country over to Dick Cheney’s daughter afterwards. Very progressive.)”

 Dude, I have no idea what your point is.

How do the grey aliens fit into the picture?

I don;t think there was a specific point to his post, just pointing out the ridiculous things he recieves in his email.
:slight_smile: Groove

The only point was using the absurd to make a humorous point about how ridiculous are all these conspiracy theories people hold about why we’re “really” going to war, and perhaps to comment on the intelligence level of those who believe them.