T Nation

Conan the Barbarian


#1

Shit was banging. First 10 minutes had a lot of action and it doesn't stop.

Jason Mamoa as Conan: He was great. He represented how versatile Conan is. He's strong, fast, agile, powerful, witty, and cunning. He doesn't say much, but he gets to the point. Every time I saw Conan, I was interested. Even the kid version of Conan was cool.

Low points: Rose McGowan and Rachel Nichols. The less they talked, the better they were. Nichols got worst over time, but not enough that I didn't like the movie.

Grade: If you're a fan of the Robert E.Howard books or Savage sword of Conan comics, see it now and enjoy.

If you know nothing about Conan, watch it with your boys or by yourself. It is ACTION Fantasy movie. If you take a date, she'll probably hit you for Conan's comments.

If I had to rate it with the other Conan movies, this current would be the 2nd best of the three. The first one had a better director, better music, and felt like more of an epic.

See it now!


#2

No way not if the first 20 minutes are full of "bore," carrot-kake man.

I have to wait to see this one unfortunately. Think it'll be out on BR by X-mas?


#3

LOL! I mean WOL!


#4

I repeat: the first 20 minutes had more violence and killing then the first Lord of the Rings movie.

See Conan and watch a man spill blood.


#5

If I hear anymore avatar jokes, I'm officially changing it and hitting every thread I enter with Conan propaganda.

Watch the movie, enjoy the battles, enjoy Conan's badassness, go home, fuck your wife, and sleep like a king.


#6

I wonder if she knows that exposing herself to carrots in that fashion doesn't help the eyesight... at all.

She doin it wrong.

Roger that on the Conan, I'm looking forward to it.


#7

Heh heh heh...choke on that Beta-Carotene you whore!!


#8

BUMP you damn dogs!


#9

Momoa was good, some of the fight scenes were awesome. The movie was not good.

Rachel Nichols = terrible. She sucked so hard there was a 15 mph wind in the theater when she was on screen. I kept hoping her character would get gang raped by 100 chimpanzees that would then proceed to bite her fucking face off. It never happened.

Rose McGowan = awesome for the first 30 min, then her character got totally fucked by incompetent writers.

There were more action movie cliches and "WTF is that motherfucker thinking?" moments in this movie than any other movie ever.

Watch it on Redbox.


#10

Tits you idiots. Were there tits?


#11

I agree except for the Redbox thing. If you're a Conan(Savage Sword/Robert E. Howard fan), watch it now.

If you're not, see it with your boys at a matinee and take your girlfriend to see Fright Night later that night.


#12

Yeah a matinee would have been better.


#13

I have to agree with some of the above.

(Guess I don't have to warn about spoilers in this thread.)

Rachel Nichols is really hot. Not much to add after that.

Rose McGowan was hot and cold in the movie for me. I think she needed a more creepy/crazy sounding voice. Plus isn't she a powerful spellcaster wtf was that at the end where she is going hand to hand with her lee press on finger daggers against Conan and his sword! Cast sand people again or something.

Jason was decent but not sure I felt he was Conan. He looks good in the fight scenes though.

The real star was the dude from Avatar he nailed that roll and he's a fantastic actor. Plus he just looks like a total badass. Wasn't particularly happy about how he died. Meh.

Ron Pearlman delivered as always. Little Snakeeyes...I mean little Conan was cool too. :wink:

I also liked the guy that played the apeish looking hammer wielding bad guy. That character was pretty nasty.

I guess I was expecting stuff from the original, like Conan being a slave in the gladiator pits and mentions of Crom etc.

So not great but not a terrible movie.

...The slave girls had great tits.


#14

Thanks for the review - Redbox as expected!!!


#15

Cool. I'm really going to try and get to the theater for this, but it may wait for Netflix....


#16

Waiting for more reviews. Some of these guys hate every damn movie.


#17

Its only 7 dollars for a matinee. Damn you and your cheapness.


#18

I will hopefully see this tonight.


#19

No, its not that I'm cheap I just refuse to pay for crap. $7 Matinee + wife + popcorn+ candy + soda = $35 for a lost 2 hrs and I just supported a crappy movie.

I knew this movie wasn't going to be theater worthy (Momosa's never carried a movie has he?). I'm sorry Wol but I'm right about 95% of the time. The other 5 is due to 3rd party negligence lol


#20

This is one of those 5 percent times, Lou. There's no way this movie would appeal to your wife, you need to leave the concession stand food alone, and this movie is worth the 7 dollars. Leave the wife at home, Lou. Lie to her.

"Honey, I'm gonna play ball with the boys" or "Honey, I'm gonna get another tattoo, be back in a hour"

Eat a steak dinner at Outback, then go to the movies, watch Conan The Barbarian, come back, tell your wife the truth, and then go about your day!