Coming of Age - Rite of Passage

[quote]elano wrote:
If you smoke weed, you could smoke weed with him. Or you could give him something your father gave you and make a big deal about it.[/quote]

I wish I could smoke with my dad. That would be awesome.

The drive idea is good, but I dunno you could kind of do this anytime. I know when my kid is old enough I would take him somewhere and show him how to burnouts and drift just so he doesnt do it on a main road and lose control like everyone else around here does.

The hunting would be good, not just for him but for both.

Probably something that none of his friends have done so he can brag how fucking awesome cool his dad is

Formerfatboy, good idea about the volunteer work…I’ll have to see if there’s anything going on around that time.

Hmm, wonder if I could get with one of the local jails and have him locked up for a little while. Just long enough to have him realize it’s not somewhere he wants to be…like that whole scared straight stuff. My dad took my brother and I to one when we were younger, but I think we were too young to understand. Our uncle was a cop there so it ended up being more fun than scarey. They fingerprinted us, snapped a mugshot, and then put us in the cell long enough to get another pic.

Hardgnr…agree, something that none of his friends have done…then maybe he’ll really understand how significant this is.

I think that’s a problem in society these days. Well, at least here in the states. Various other countries have some form of secular coming of age ceremony. Germany has Jungendweihe, Norway has Russ, Japan has seijin shiki, and more specifically the samurai had genpuku…tons of others all over the world. I’m sure most people would throw a shit fit over some of the things various tribal groups put their kids through, haha.

We have such an emasculated society where boys are guilted into being wimps from an early age. Well, not my boys. They know how to be men, but gentlemen as well.

There used to be some simple ways. Going from short pants to trousers. The type of head piece you wore. First tattoo or body scarring. The things that were visable for the world to see what you had become.

Our society has become pathetic. Ritual hazing even in sports is now taboo. Males are not allowed to bond anymore. The social whimps of the world wish to distroy mans true social nature. One that continuously tests who and what we are.

They don’t want wolves in society, only sheep. That is what the system is designed to make us into. Look how bodybuilding and powerlifting are looked upon. We won’t go guietly into the night however. Because a wolf is still a wolf, even in sheeps clothing.

For those who jokingly said kill a man…

For instance boys in the New Guinea Asmat tribe have to fulfill a task before becoming a man . Their ceremony involves “cutting off a victim’s head and limbs with a bamboo knife and bringing the dismembered body home, where the women accompany their men to the yeu ( the ceremonial house). The skin is removed, and a hole is then made in the victim’s temple with the point of a stone axe. The brains are then shaken out and eaten. The lower jaw is then removed and hung round a warrior’s neck, as an ornament and a trophy. Skulls are important in all aspect of Asmat life as the contains of knowledge and wisdom. There are cleaned in the prescribed way, then painted with ocher, ash, and chalk. The noses will be filled with resin and a net drawn over the whole skull which has beads tassels of cassowary feathers. The decorated skull is put between the initiate’s legs, or against his groin. There it remains for two to three days while he must gaze at it constantly” (The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Mankind,119).

How’s that for ya’ll?

Anyway, there are typically certain universal parts:

  1. Separation, a journey, and sacrifice/ritual death
  2. Acquisition of power and knowledge
  3. Affirmation and rebirth

I agree with everything you said, streamline…our society is just all jacked up. Our sons need a return to their “maleness”, and I’m trying to change that at least for my family. I have found some pretty cool groups that do wilderness type getaways…not like a bunch of guys drumming around a campfire naked or anything like that. There just isn’t anything around here or even remotely nearby.

what about takeing him hunting, killing an animal, then as manually as possible, skinning and gutting it, cutting it into its parts, freezing it and if possible make something out of the skin (clothes) and/or bones?

I also like the idea or giving him a knife and showing him a few basics then leaving him in the wild for the night. Watching from afar.

Take him skydiving, bungee jumping?

Bar Mitzvah.

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Dylanj wrote:
Zack Nelson wrote:
Have him kill a man

just kidding of course

wow, way better than my hooker idea!

Kill a hooker.[/quote]

We have a winner!

[quote]Lohryx5 wrote:
For those who jokingly said kill a man…

For instance boys in the New Guinea Asmat tribe have to fulfill a task before becoming a man . Their ceremony involves “cutting off a victim’s head and limbs with a bamboo knife and bringing the dismembered body home, where the women accompany their men to the yeu ( the ceremonial house). The skin is removed, and a hole is then made in the victim’s temple with the point of a stone axe. The brains are then shaken out and eaten. The lower jaw is then removed and hung round a warrior’s neck, as an ornament and a trophy. Skulls are important in all aspect of Asmat life as the contains of knowledge and wisdom. There are cleaned in the prescribed way, then painted with ocher, ash, and chalk. The noses will be filled with resin and a net drawn over the whole skull which has beads tassels of cassowary feathers. The decorated skull is put between the initiate’s legs, or against his groin. There it remains for two to three days while he must gaze at it constantly” (The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Mankind,119).

How’s that for ya’ll?

Anyway, there are typically certain universal parts:

  1. Separation, a journey, and sacrifice/ritual death
  2. Acquisition of power and knowledge
  3. Affirmation and rebirth

I agree with everything you said, streamline…our society is just all jacked up. Our sons need a return to their “maleness”, and I’m trying to change that at least for my family. I have found some pretty cool groups that do wilderness type getaways…not like a bunch of guys drumming around a campfire naked or anything like that. There just isn’t anything around here or even remotely nearby.[/quote]

Your heart and soul are in the right place. If only there were a few million more like minded. But no, our young men are growing up in a womens world. We as a gender are suffering because of this complacency. The fear of being “politically incorrect” is destroying us. We need some secret societies that allow us to conduct the rites of passage. It was occured in the past and will again if it has not already.

Yes I know there are secret societies out there. I’m thinking more mythical and ritualistic societies rather than intellectual. Something that gives our young men the feeling of empowerment and a purpose to live. That which will give us back the world we once dominated.

I have nothing to add other than that this thread is awesome and I wish someone had done this with me.

[quote]Agressive Napkin wrote:
I have nothing to add other than that this thread is awesome and I wish someone had done this with me.[/quote]

Agree (though I’m a girl). You’re an awesome dad and no doubt what you choose, your sons will grow up to be good men. I would think anything that you can do to highlight the superficiality of our culture would be something good. I take it you have them read good books too?

I have something I’d like to add:

Think about everything he’s done that made you feel proud, and tell him. Tell him EXACTLY what he did that made you proud of him. not only will this reaffirm that behavior, but it is also a HELL of a lot more fulfilling to hear than an in general “I’m proud of you.”

When my oldest son turned 13, I bought him a sword. I gave it to him as a rite of passage (kind of a knight in shining armour type thing)from childhood to manhood. We talked about chivalry, how to treat people, and what it meant to be a man.

Front seats to Duran Duran.

I know TC wrote an article on this a while back. Something to the effect of getting your male friends and going on a trip with the kid, and at the end of the trip everyone explains what it means to be a man and gives him a token of some kind. I know I messed that up somehow, perhaps someone remembers the post.

[quote]Lohryx5 wrote:
Thomas Gabriel wrote:
Tattoo?

Lol! That’ll be after he turns 18. Probably a family crest once I get it certified.

Thanks guys.

He’s got the bench, weights, rack, etc. so I do like the idea of having him work the same routine as me (different weights). I was thinking I might really kick his ass with a long run and grueling workout the first time…something to really test him.

Thosebananas…actually, I’ve considered the wilderness idea, and that would work out great since we’ll be heading up to PA to visit family around that time. Some of the stuff I’ve found has the youth taken to the woods and left there (or so he believes) while his father watches unseen from afar just to make sure he’s safe. I’ve been teaching him archery, shooting, and working on some trapping…things I think everyone should know a little about just in case. Hmm…the car idea sounds good as well. I bet he’d get a kick out of that as well.

I’m thinking of stretching this out over the course of several days…maybe incorporating various discussions and things like the Nine Noble Virtues, Samurai Code, and stuff like that. Something to get him thinking.[/quote]

Obviously know what ur doing before you chuck him in the woods.

You’re a good dad. I have no doubt that the kid is already a man.

Thanks to everyone for you input and ideas. I grealy appreciate it all.

Streamline - exactly! I agree with you completely. All kids these days have is some weak graduation ceremony from elementary school to middle schoole, and then middle to high school. Some of them make a bigger deal out of achieving some level of success on a video game than anything else.

Getting your driver’s license is pretty much a gimmee. And nothing really special happens when you turn 18. Sure you graduate from high school, earn the right to vote, and then either go on to college or enter the working force. I think two of the biggest times in a kids life, become a teen and becoming an adult, are drastically overlooked. We need some sort of return to kith and kin where the elder men of the group mentor, test, and then accept our sons as men once they’re ready.

Sluicy - I’ve been looking for some books, but haven’t found anything yet. School is already going to have him reading the classics and things like that…stuff to make him a well-rounded and “learned” young man. I’m open to any ideas you may have. Of course, LOTR is on the list :slight_smile:

dclarkjr - I’m leaning very much towards that idea as a gift. He is big time into Japanese culture and is even the only 7-seventh grader in his school that was allowed to take Japanese. It’s not necessarily part of his culture/ancestry but it’s something that he connects with…so it’s, therefore, something I can use to communicate the significance of the event. And I’m thinking a nice, authentic sword…not the cheap display swords at the mall. It would be perfect if there was a school around here that taught Iaido.

Lonnie123 - thanks, I’ll try to search for it.

double team a hooker and then kill her

I agree with most of the previous posts, and I suggest you buy him a book by John Irving, my father gave them to me when I was 14. They are about growing up, wrestling, tattos and hookers. However, they are rather demanding.