Come Laugh at My Relationship

As you said yourself and many others -thank fuck you don’t have kids.
You can still get out ahead so to speak.

Yeah nasty is no bueno …How is she gonna be with a couple kids tiring her out/screaming/crashing in to the things??

By all means give it one last shot with a swing at couples counselling etc . But yeah, sounds like I’d gear up for divorce(start to PROTECT your assets NOW!) and can both move on with your life.

Now you’re just being generous

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yep.

dude, if you’re already done, then end it asap. But if you’re considering staying, maybe try to understand WHY she’s behaving the way she is.

Your half of the story is incomplete and misleading. Because that’s how these things works. You will always sell your partner short and prop yourself up. Because you’re human. And that’s ok. If you have ANY thoughts of staying in the relationship, go to a relationship counselor so you can at least hear her side of the story, and talk things out in a neutral setting with some guidance. Honestly, even if you don’t intend to stay, I’d give this a shot, as you have literally nothing to lose from it. If you’re going to split, it’s going to be a rough road if you don’t get counseling first, I promise you.

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Some really good advice above. My BIL is stuck with a useless chick (almost died recently because she flat out refuses to control her diabetes, then uses it as an excuse why she can’t do anything) now, because he tried to ‘save’ her then when he started to figure out why her ex was done with her, suddenly she was pregnant. You’ve got no kids, listen to studhammer - get out and find your happiness. If you want to try counseling, then go for it. If what you have said is even partly true though, I have a feeling the mere suggestion of counseling will cause a fight. But like someone else said above, start protecting your assets now. And start talking to attorneys if you can do it without her finding out - just be careful with that. Keep it quiet, and don’t leave any business cards or whatever lying around for her to find and attempt a preemptive strike.

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Yes.

Also yes.

So I’m reading that you’re an addict in recovery (good) who’s been unable to work but is trying to side-hustle enough money to manage bills.

Is it possible that she’s depressed because of the changes in you? For example:

This is pretty damning. Now, maybe she IS trying to get you arrested for the hell of it, who knows? But why would a formerly sweet girl who stuck by your side through thick and thin turn into a malicious nightmare? What are the odds?

I’d be curious to hear what she was screaming at you when you felt the urge to hit her. That’s probably the problem she has with YOU.

But I agree with the people saying probably time to get out. Life is short, and if there’s any question that violence is being provoked or considered, eh, probably not a love story for the ages.

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Yeah and the build up to it is probably more pertinent than the actual words she was screaming. A technicality that one might miss if trying to protect one’s ego.

Me and my wife started counseling separately as we both have problems indepently.

The first thing we’ve started doing is practicing reflective listening/communication. It is a tremendous tool.

I’m no piece of cake myself, and have always wanted to do the right things and be a nice person that people like, but didn’t know how.

That has helped a whole lot. I’m actually easier to be around now, even for myself. I know these types of tools aren’t one size fits all, but the reflective communication is a really good one. It’s amazing how much one can relax and the problems that can be solved when communication is good.

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OP, serious question. Prior to getting married, y’all were together a long time–4 years. During that time she was more than a good girlfriend–she was an amazing girlfriend. I say this because she stayed with a recovering addict who had multiple mental and other health issues, and even nursed him back to health when he was incapacitated by a severe TBI. That’s pretty extraordinary–people bail on relationships for a whole lot less. And as if all this wasn’t extraordinary enough, she then went on to marry the mentally ill addict who had yet to recover from a TBI.

At last, the question: Given all of this, why do you think she married you?

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I think this has zero to do with house or yard work.

@Aopocetx Sounds like there is a lot of resentment and that is very hard to overcome.

Time to decide where you let it all out or you leave. Remember this is the woman you married, you did that for a reason and it is unlikely she spent years with you hiding her true personality.

Have a solution focus when you talk about it avoid blame, guilt or focussing on the person.

Something things are beyond repair, you’re in the best position to make that call.

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You got all of that from me hiring a housekeeper?

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Lol only the first line… fixed for clarity.

As with all things this important - get professional help.

I would hazard a guess that you and your wife are suffering from mental health conditions. I mean part of your closing paragraph is:

This suggests you fear you might be. Which means you need help. Even if you’re not “delusional”. The fact its a consideration will be effecting you.

And your accident could have caused PTSD in your wife also.

The internet is no place for this sort of help.
I hope things improve. For you both!

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If you really loved the girl she used to be. Atleast make an effort, really dig deep emotionally, to let her know you miss her. It takes daily effort but like it or not the man steers the relationship. If you want this fixed its going to be on you. And it’s going to take a lot of strength and effort for her to go along again.

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