T Nation

Clueless Buddies


#1

This could go in the Squat rack curls but fuck it I want to get a spotlight on this.

I have a friend and coworker who sometimes comes to the gym with me. He's 28, about 240 to 250 but hasn't been very consistent and doesn't train very heavy...that's not really the issue.

Here's the funny part...one day I was heading to the gym after work and asked him if he was going that day.
He said, "Naw...I'm out of protein powder"
I didn't really understand how the two were connected so I thought a moment then asked if that meant he was heading to our favorite supplement store to get some. He said no.
So I asked why he wasn't going to the gym exactly.
"Because I'm out of protein powder and it's a leg day for me"
I was not ready to let my brain sink that low so I said I didn't understand..which I didn't.

Turns out buddy didn't want to go to the gym and do legs (he barely squats 185 or something...I don't judge people's gym life according to their weights so much though) without having protein powder ready to drink immediately after training.
HOLY SHIT.


#2

I train with this 19 year old kid every now and then. He's a good lad, trains hard and strong as an ox. The reason I like training with him though is that he comes out with some of the funniest shit ever without realising. Some examples:

him: You know how bodybuilders do, like, gay for pay? Would you ever do it?
me: No!
him: I would. I mean, I'm not gonna like, suck a dick or anything, but I'd let some guy rub oil on me for money. I'd be able to afford GH.

him: I wonder if the staff here realise that everytime I'm here I piss on the floor.
me: Whaaat?
him: I dunno what it is, when I'm here I just lose focus.

Another time he and this other dude in the gym were arguing. I was over at a different piece of kit so I couldn't hear what it was about, but it was getting pretty heated so I went over.

me: Boys, what's the problem?
him: What do you think's going to hurt a girl more, if it's too long or if it's too thick?
me: I dunno, I guess too thick?
him: Na! Think about it! If it's too long, where's it gonna go?

That was what they were arguing about. A real, proper, serious argument about what penis dimensions would cause a girl the most discomfort.


#3

I'd say something like " it doesn't matter, neither of you will ever have this problem" lol


#4

My buddy, who does not presently lift weights, somehow becomes stronger every time lifting weights comes up in conversation. He now has best lifts of a 700 pound deadlift and a 675 pound squat. Unfortunately, he was never able to bench 300. All in the distant past, of course. The trend with his lifting numbers from 10 years ago is that they are always a good 150 to 200 pounds higher than whatever I lifted the week before.

I've even called bullshit on this, but he stands by his numbers. And keeps a straight face somehow. He knows enough about lifting weights to carry on a conversation about them, but not enough to conjure up a plausible lie to throw out in a dick measuring contest. I just try to stay away from the subject now.

And yes, supplements.

A few guys at my gym spend more time talking about supplements than they do lifting weights. None are particularly strong, nor do they have notable physiques. Some of the conversations can be very amusing.

"Dude, you are not getting enough BCAA's."

"You are lucky I have an extra shake. You don't want to waste your workout."

And other gems that I cannot recall at this moment.


#5


Apparently, you dont take PWN very seriously, Nardsie~


#6

I will be honest here. I have skipped a training day because

I forgot my headphones
I forgot my gym towel


#7

If the music at your gym is as bad as the music at mine its perfectly acceptable. I've been known to leave early if my mp3 player dies.