T Nation

Christmas Gifts for new girlfriend

here’s the deal…I am smitten w/ a young lady, and we have been " talking " for a few weeks. I want to get her something that is appropriate(sp?)
Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks



Seriously, if you’ve only been “talking”, then giving her something extravagant or even more than a card and an offer to take her out to dinner would probably be awkward at best, or make you out to be a whacko in her eyes at worst. A nice card and maybe an offer to dinner and a movie (like asking her on a date – ever heard of that before?) would be the way to go. Leave the extravagant stuff 'til after the relationship is official.

Give her a “hot beef injection.”

You’re going to spend money on her and you’re not even getting any? Just kidding, but I think the dinner idea is good. Maybe if you or her is going on vacation during Xmas you could take her out before or after you go. That would be a good thing to say when you ask her.

Let me clarify. She got the beef injection but we been together for a few weeks sorry for the confusion

Well, that changes things entirely. A trip for two (her and you) would work. Massage (by a pro). “Spa day”. In other words, something that will make her feel good. Avoid jewelry.

How about a hot beef injection in the poop shoot? Now thats a gift that keeps on giving…

Get her a clit piercing. It’s the gift that keeps on giving…or is that cumming? Hmmm…either way, you’ll both enjoy it! Nah, go for something different. The “spa” or massage stuff always works. I’ve used that gift a few times and have had rave reviews. Perfume can be nice or even some well thoughout clothes works. After she opens her present, be sure to give her another hot beef injection. Or you could offer her a bite from your dangling deli!

No input here on what to get her but do not go the “tools for kitchen” route. Even us old married guys can’t get away with that. You might get hit with it.

Dude, you’re killing me! Hot beef injection?!? Dangling Deli?!? I’m laughing so hard I forget what I wanted to suggest!

How about a gift certificate for plastic surgery? Or to a gym to “work off the Christmas chubb.” I think either of those will help her decide that she should get naked.

Get her bloussant.

Skrew her man, buy yourself an autosuck 3000, the same kind Chris Shugart uses, I hear nothing but good things about it.

Ok…update the young vixen is now officially my girlfriend(maybe she’ll let me boink her dog Natey) i like the spa idea and a few others. Big ups to all the t-man who have aided me in my time of need

Man, you guys really crack me up. I’ve never heard of the term “hot beef injection” before. How bout you wrap your dick in a giftbox and let her open it? Of course your gonna have to hold the box to your pelvis as she opens it. But seriously, you know those places where women go to get a pedicure, facials, and at the same time, they place cucumbers over their eyes, then take a bath in a tub of dirt? And afterwards they get a massage from some guy named Rocco. What if you got her a gift certificate to one of those places. You said you know this lady for a few weeks now, but if things get really “good” by christmas time, you may want to think of getting her something extravagent. Otherwise, you can always take Tribex and Vitex, then give her one of your facials, if you know what I mean.

Feel free to use the terms “hot beef injection” or “dangling deli” in your normal conversations. Many people who don’t know me or my friends end up cracking up from hearing many of the slang words and phrases that we use in our everyday conversations.

“Sweeping the skin chimney”! LOL! That one kills me man!

What about a washer & dryer? or a vacuum cleaner?