First some background on me. I’m a 22 year old Christian male, and I am waiting (thus far succesfully) for marriage for sex.
My question is, do people think it wise to have a condom available despite the above? I can see it go both ways. The advantage is obvious - if you mess up, your at least going to be relatively safe and avoid the worldly consequences of your action. The disadvantage is more difficult to pinpoint - something along the lines of “admitting defeat” and making it more likely you might engage in sex if things get messy.
But to me, those disadvantages don’t seem to apply… I mean, I’m pretty adamant about waiting for sex, and having a rubber in my pocket isn’t going to change my view. And I will continue to do what I’ve always done, namely, avoid tempting situations, etc. As for the admitting defeat part, I don’t see it that way - I see it more as admitting that I’m not completely infallible (and no human is).
If I’m waiting, why does it matter, I’m sure your thinking. Well, I know a couple friends who were also like me, planning to wait for marriage, and their hormones got the better of them and they ended up having completely unprotected sex. This isn’t something they set out to do in any way, it just kind of happened. If they had had a condom with them, at least they would have been less at risk. And finally, I personally have had some close calls before - my willpower held, but part of me worries in the future what might happen if it doesn’t and I have no protection available.
So for these reasons, I’m strongly considering at least having protection available despite my convictions - what do others think of this?
Remember, condoms degrade. So keeping it in your wallet, back pocket, glove compartment or other place for a significant amount of time will cause it to not be very effective.
Keep them at home in a cool, dark place and make sure they aren’t expired. If you happen to be somewhere else with someone else and the urge is too overwhelming, you have the following choices:
Ask if the person has protection on hand. Many women (I assume you are not a homo) have condoms “just in case” situations like this arise.
There is no protection on hand, so you have to make the trip to the store, this also gives you time to rethink what you are about to do.
If you’re at your place or somewhere (a friend’s place) where there may be condoms available, you can ask accordingly.
Go without protection because she says, “I’m on the pill, and I don’t have any diseases” and hope to God that both are true.
Do you have your house insured? When driving, are you using the seatbelt? Nobody expect a breakin or to have an accident, the best we can do is to prepare ourselves as well as we can so we can minimize the damages if it do go wrong.
Excuse my ignorence but why is premarital sex not allowed? Sex is a normal part of life like eating, drinking, etc, etc…
Three options if you don’t have a condom. Oral, anal, and jack and jill. Odds of an STD are very very low with options 1 and 3. You can do the math on option 2. I sure wish parents today were more with it.
The reason I don’t carry a gun is that I don’t want to use it.
Carry the condom. Replace it every six months, if not more frequently. And pray for strength…
I didn’t realize Mormons were the only Christian religion that frowned on pre-marital sex. Where’d that conclusion come from?
cmon dude, around here you’re only cool if you fuck everything that moves.
Not a conclusion there Mr. Wizard, just a question…
No, not a Mormon - just a “standard Christian”. And I’m not gonna carry the condom - given my raging sex drive, doing so will just make me more likely to “give in” when I have opportunities. I’ll rely on my willpower primarily - and if that fails (which it hasn’t in 22 years), hopefully I’ll have the brains to get a condom before doing anything, or stick to BJs as mentioned above. The time it takes to get the condom will give me more time to think about what I’m about to do too.
I admire your will power and personal beliefs. I strongly advise you not to carry a condom with you!
If you carry one you will rationalize the act of having sex, as it will most likely not lead to pregnancy. In other words it will be one more temptation.
Why haven’t you had sex so far? At least one reason is that you are concerned about the consequences!
Stay true to your faith-You will never regret it!
I second Nate Dogg’s response.
I’m Christian as well, if that gives a slant to my opinion.
Ive found that in the heat of the moment, not having a condom was no deterent. Yes i have dodged a couple of bullets in my time. Lessons learned thankfully not the hard way.
I have to respect someone who waits till marriage for sex - it takes will power and guts. But my question to you is this; aren’t you a little worried that the woman you will end up with may not be that great in bed? Not that it means everything in the world, but it’s a very important part of the relationship.
I’ve had great women and not so great women, and I know I couldn’t marry a girl who wasn’t at least a little fun in bed, shallow as it may sound. I have a female friend who has the same beliefs but I’d be interested to hear a guy’s perspective.
the first time i ever had sex (11th grade) i got the girl pregnant, the head of the condom broke and none of us felt it, but she got it aborted 2 months later.
i’ve known tons of people who were trying to hold out for marriage but once they got a serious boyfriend/girlfriend that shit flew out the window. as much as i view sex as a recreational activity it also serves as a gague for what makes a relationship serious. for example, if you get drunk and take a girl home from a party and fuck chances are shes just a slutty girl and thats it. if you’re in a relationship on the otherhand it might be worth it to have sex with her if you both really like eachother a lot, as a next step so to speak.
my 2 pennies
“hopefully I’ll have the brains to get a condom before doing anything, or stick to BJs as mentioned above.”
morally speaking, what is the differnece between sticking your dick in a girls mouth versus sticking it in her cunt?
“morally speaking, what is the differnece between sticking your dick in a girls mouth versus sticking it in her cunt?”
No difference at all really. My point is, I’m planning to do none of the above - but if I do screw up sometime down the road, I’d hope I have the brains to engage in a less risky activity (ie, BJ).
As to your comment Hogan, it is a good one and one I worry about a good deal - sexual compatability is important to me. For a lot of Christian men I know it seems to be a non-issue - but for me, it is a huge issue. Though I do not engage in sex currently, and don’t plan to until I’m married, I have an extremely high sex drive and tend to be a very sexual person, so for me, I know that sexuality and a highly active sex life will be a big part of a succesful marriage. My guess is I will figure out these questions by talking openly with the woman in question. Things like what activities they are willing to / interested in engaging in (for me, its pretty much everything :P), how often they feel the urge for sex, etc, can all be discussed. It may be an embarrasing subject, but in my mind its something any man and woman considering marriage should talk about - if they can’t then they certainly aren’t ready for marriage. Sex is not evil at all, and talking about it in this way to find out if you and your wife-to-be are sexually compatible is normal and important. Once you have all the info above, you can be pretty informed about how adventurous, etc your future mate will be in bed. Any physical kinks that develop can be worked out once your married and start doing it (though, with my massive and sturdy wang, I don’t anticipate any physical kinks :P). Thats how I would go about determining sexual compatability without actually having sex.
This is just my 2 cents. But for someone who is a Christian and thus accepts that he/she was created and has a obligation to live by God’s standards, then the idea of being sexually compatible and needing to find out before marriage doens’t make sense.
Here is why: if you accept you were created by God and that HE is is all- powerful and all-knowing and that he has outlined the way of life He wants you to follow (bible as God’s word), then in all that wisdom (in the creating and in His word) you can be assured it will work out.
I know that sounds naive, but for a true Christian ( one who follows what God says through his word the bible), then you would put faith in the outcome of following that word.
Think Nate Dogg hit the nail on the head there. Decent advice.
Good luck Sniper, wish you well.