T Nation

Child Custody

I have two boys ages 16 & 9 both live with their mother. They both want to come live with me. So I hired a lawyer a year ago. That one stuck me so I hired another. Well thus far nothing has been field. The problem I’m now having is that my oldest son is getting really impatient and I’m afraid that he might do something to hurt himself. He is so miserable. He call crying saying that he can’t take it anymore. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have the money to hire another attorney at this time and I keep calling the one I have now. Thus far I have spent around 8,000 on attorneys. Is there some state agency I can call to look into this matter and maybe pull them out until I can get this to tiral. There is no physical abuse but alot of mental abuse going on. The youngest is so afraid to call me or ask to see me. They punish him buy yelling at him and making him go to his room for asking. I don’t know what to do. Any adivse would appriciated.

DUDE, what’s up, can you tape the phone calls, do you have BCW,in your area? Child welfare ? and just get them. go to family court without the lawyer and ask the judge to liten to the tapes, and let the judge ask the kids where would they want to stay with? You don’r need a lawyer to get your kids back…Good luck Bro!

I would use a lawyer plus tape phone calls and all that other shit, but your lawyers obviously suck…Definately change lawyers and try to get you money back from that loser. In the mean time file the paper work yourself.

This is a sticky situation, I would start going on those laywer web sites and find out what you can in the mean time. The only real advise I can give is to get very aggresive and make shit happen, your kids are not getting any younger and neither are you.

Your sixteen year old is old enough to let the judge know what he wants. As for the 9 year old, I know think they would let the child make the decision. Good luck

Call Child Protection Services. They will send a social worker out there to assess things. Just tell your 16 y/o to be honest with the social worker, and they’ll get the kids out if there’s real abuse going on.

I am an attorney, and practiced family law for 9 years; these guys are giving you bad advice. You definitely need a lawyer, if you don’t believe me go ahead and tape a couple of these calls and then show up in the hallway of family court and try to get before a judge so he can listen. You will never even see the man in black. There are so many fucking fruitloops in and out of family court that the judge uses lawyers as insulation, he doesn’t want a personal line of communication with the litigants who don’t understand the rules and have zero shot at objectivity. That’s why the judge says “I’ll see the lawyers in my chambers”
'cause that is where the kid gloves come off and people speak plainly. YOU MAY BE THE DICK IN THE FILE: I have seen parents busted for DUI with their children in the car, parents who have been disinvolved for years, or abusive, but who
refuse to believe that the system isn’t crooked
because otherwise the result would have been differant. That said, if you are not the dick in the file then:

  1. Contact your state bar association and ask if they have a “fee dispute board” or some such thing. In my state this venue is available in circunstances such as your own and may help you get some, or all of your money back. You don’t need a lawyer to pursue this avenue and there is no cost.
  2. Find another attorney. Ask friends or co-workers who did a good job for them.
  3. Be specific with your new lawyer, find out wht he is going to do and when. If your contract doesn’t specify dates of filing etc., then write him letters confirming the deal “pursuant to our cnverstion today I understand my Summons will be filed on _________,” your lawyer will understand what you are doing.
  4. Dont show up at your new lawyers office talking about what assholes the other guys are. You brand your self as a problem client. I routinely tried to price these guys out of my office, my retainer doubled under these circumstances cause i didn’t really want the case, and cause this was probably going to be a problem, afterall the common element in your problems with the bar has been you. Hope some of this helps, i’m not trying to be hard on ya or anything, just real.
    PS If you are not the dick in the file do what you have to do to protect your kids.

Steve- I feel for you. I went through a lot of the same with my 7 yr. old son. Mon is a raging alcoholice with 2 DWI’s. I taped her drunken phone calls played them for the judge etc. He didn’t even pay attention to my lawyer, said he didn’t want to hear the tapes and said in the absence of a “compelling reason to change the arrangement custody will stand as is” Here is the kicker since she is a twice convicted drunk driver the judge (In NJ) thought it would be an excellent idea if I did all the driving to and from visitation instead of 50/50, for the safety of the child! she lives 40 miles away.

Steve-Tinman speaks the truth and is giving you good advice. I hope you take it. The right lawyer makes the differnece. That is what it took for me to get this thing done. The other piece of advice is this. Do not give up and do not fail at this. If you are being honest and sincere your kids well being should be the most important thing in the world to you. I'd sell my car, house, etc. to save them. In the end your kids mean more to you then any material things you have. Don't give up and don't lose faith. Be a T man and do the right thing by them, wherever it takes you. Good Luck.

Try the following web site:www.dads rights.com
He is one of the leading Father’s Rights attorney in the country. I’m sure he could steer you in the right direction.