T Nation

Child Abuser, What Should I Do?

I haven’t been here in a while, but there is a situation i really would like some objective thoughts on.

I have a brother who has 2 great kids a girl 13 and a boy 11, my brother is a caring dad who is attentive to his kids and remmarried a year ago to a supportive wife who also supports the kids well.

THE Problem, is my brother was married to the kids mom, they divorced, she (the ex-wife) got involved with and impregnated by an ex-convict who is abusive to the point he went to jail over abuse of (the ex-wife) AND my niece and nephew, this was 2 years ago-

caused a big stink and the asshole went to jail, because of ‘shared custody’, primary custody is w my brother- the kids were at their mom’s 2 days ago, the afire mentioned asshole is out of jail, he went undoubtedly to se his ’ 1 year old son (the pregnancy thing),

I don’t know the details but this creep punched my niece ( a 13 year old girl) in the face as well as assaulting the kids mom before running off- the kids mom didn’t want to tell my brother about it, but the fucking bruise on my niece’s face and the kids honesty got the point across, my brother lives 2 hours from the mom, i live 14 hours from my bro.

my bro has involved the authorities but is too early to tell what is going down, I want to get a plane trip to where he lives 9 the ass hole), track him down and do everything but kill him, I am just an Uncle those kids are my blood, i live so far away it makes being in the situation difficult to me but WHAT WOULD YOU DO- any help please-Splint

[quote]Splinter36 wrote:
I haven’t been here in a while, but there is a situation i really would like some objective thoughts on.

I have a brother who has 2 great kids a girl 13 and a boy 11, my brother is a caring dad who is attentive to his kids and remmarried a year ago to a supportive wife who also supports the kids well.

THE Problem, is my brother was married to the kids mom, they divorced, she (the ex-wife) got involved with and impregnated by an ex-convict who is abusive to the point he went to jail over abuse of (the ex-wife) AND my niece and nephew, this was 2 years ago- caused a big stink and the asshole went to jail,

because of ‘shared custody’, primary custody is w my brother- the kids were at their mom’s 2 days ago, the afire mentioned asshole is out of jail, he went undoubtedly to se his ’ 1 year old son (the pregnancy thing),

I don’t know the details but this creep punched my niece ( a 13 year old girl) in the face as well as assaulting the kids mom before running off- the kids mom didn’t want to tell my brother about it, but the fucking bruise on my niece’s face and the kids honesty got the point across,

my brother lives 2 hours from the mom, i live 14 hours from my bro. my bro has involved the authorities but is too early to tell what is going down, I want to get a plane trip to where he lives 9 the ass hole), track him down and do everything but kill him,

I am just an Uncle those kids are my blood, i live so far away it makes being in the situation difficult to me but WHAT WOULD YOU DO- any help please-Splint[/quote]

I would try your damndest to help your bother get full custody. The kids CLEARLY are not safe at mommy’s house if she can’t even run her own life, and letting an abuser into her home.

and the kids shouldn’t have to suffer for it. Your a good uncle asking for advice, even from random people before doing anything. I would be out for blood.

Best of luck man, I hope it turns out well.

She must like getting abused if she’s still with the guy. I would like to say that most women in abusive relationships tend to show a pattern of being with abusers. But your brother kind of shoots that theory down.

Keep in mind that regardless of what YOU do to the man, she may end up with another guy just like this one. So going to jail over this one wouldn’t solve anything. Who knows what’s in store in the future.

Best thing is to help your brother get sole custody, as the above poster mentioned. Perhaps he can get some type of restraining order until custody issues are solved. That way they won’t even have to go there for visitation.

They say the most objective advice can be had from a stranger, I thank you for your input, it is a confusing situation, on the objective side - the courts should handle this - and I hope they will do the right thing, the instincts tell me to find the guy and castrate him - I am sure that is an understandable response, again many thanks

Try killing him.

But in all seriousness, don’t (I know, it’s tempting).

Instead, help your brother get full custody.

Help him get full custody.

No advice, but I wanted to say I’m sorry.

What people would do isn’t the best indicator of what you should do.
Going through the law would be the best option for you. I doubt it would really effect the custody issue, because as you’re not the one trying to get custody it doesn’t matter.

Contact the local District Atty and/or PFA office as well as seek full custody of the children. This way the children will be protected and if this guy violates it he’s going back in. Document everything!

[quote]Makavali wrote:
Try killing him.

But in all seriousness, don’t (I know, it’s tempting).

Instead, help your brother get full custody.[/quote]

I agree. And if it doesn’t work, you can kill him anyways.

I would fuck him up and shove an Olympic bar up his ass… he probably misses bubba’s nightly visits.

Help him get Full custody…help him get a better lawyer or w\e

Go the legal route and do everything you can to help your brother get full custody.

Then find this guy and beat him within and inch of his life. I have 4 nieces and 3 nephews that are very near and dear to my heart and god help the person that lays a finger on any of them.

Get pictures of the girl’s face, immediately. The cops should do this, but don’t leave it in their hands.

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
Get pictures of the girl’s face, immediately. The cops should do this, but don’t leave it in their hands.[/quote]

QFT.

And get written statements from everyone involved.

Sorry this fucked up shit is happening.

[quote]zephead4747 wrote:
Splinter36 wrote:
I haven’t been here in a while, but there is a situation i really would like some objective thoughts on.

I have a brother who has 2 great kids a girl 13 and a boy 11, my brother is a caring dad who is attentive to his kids and remmarried a year ago to a supportive wife who also supports the kids well.

THE Problem, is my brother was married to the kids mom, they divorced, she (the ex-wife) got involved with and impregnated by an ex-convict who is abusive to the point he went to jail over abuse of (the ex-wife) AND my niece and nephew, this was 2 years ago- caused a big stink and the asshole went to jail,

because of ‘shared custody’, primary custody is w my brother- the kids were at their mom’s 2 days ago, the afire mentioned asshole is out of jail, he went undoubtedly to se his ’ 1 year old son (the pregnancy thing),

I don’t know the details but this creep punched my niece ( a 13 year old girl) in the face as well as assaulting the kids mom before running off- the kids mom didn’t want to tell my brother about it, but the fucking bruise on my niece’s face and the kids honesty got the point across,

my brother lives 2 hours from the mom, i live 14 hours from my bro. my bro has involved the authorities but is too early to tell what is going down, I want to get a plane trip to where he lives 9 the ass hole), track him down and do everything but kill him,

I am just an Uncle those kids are my blood, i live so far away it makes being in the situation difficult to me but WHAT WOULD YOU DO- any help please-Splint

I would try your damndest to help your bother get full custody. The kids CLEARLY are not safe at mommy’s house if she can’t even run her own life, and letting an abuser into her home.

and the kids shouldn’t have to suffer for it. Your a good uncle asking for advice, even from random people before doing anything. I would be out for blood.

Best of luck man, I hope it turns out well.[/quote]

It is entirely unneccesary (sp?) to quote the OP when you are FIRST!

[quote]Silverkin wrote:
zephead4747 wrote:
Splinter36 wrote:
I haven’t been here in a while, but there is a situation i really would like some objective thoughts on.

I have a brother who has 2 great kids a girl 13 and a boy 11, my brother is a caring dad who is attentive to his kids and remmarried a year ago to a supportive wife who also supports the kids well.

THE Problem, is my brother was married to the kids mom, they divorced, she (the ex-wife) got involved with and impregnated by an ex-convict who is abusive to the point he went to jail over abuse of (the ex-wife) AND my niece and nephew, this was 2 years ago- caused a big stink and the asshole went to jail,

because of ‘shared custody’, primary custody is w my brother- the kids were at their mom’s 2 days ago, the afire mentioned asshole is out of jail, he went undoubtedly to se his ’ 1 year old son (the pregnancy thing),

I don’t know the details but this creep punched my niece ( a 13 year old girl) in the face as well as assaulting the kids mom before running off- the kids mom didn’t want to tell my brother about it, but the fucking bruise on my niece’s face and the kids honesty got the point across,

my brother lives 2 hours from the mom, i live 14 hours from my bro. my bro has involved the authorities but is too early to tell what is going down, I want to get a plane trip to where he lives 9 the ass hole), track him down and do everything but kill him,

I am just an Uncle those kids are my blood, i live so far away it makes being in the situation difficult to me but WHAT WOULD YOU DO- any help please-Splint

I would try your damndest to help your bother get full custody. The kids CLEARLY are not safe at mommy’s house if she can’t even run her own life, and letting an abuser into her home.

and the kids shouldn’t have to suffer for it. Your a good uncle asking for advice, even from random people before doing anything. I would be out for blood.

Best of luck man, I hope it turns out well.

It is entirely unneccesary (sp?) to quote the OP when you are FIRST!

[/quote]

it was entirely unneccesary (sp?) to quote me there, when you could adress me by username.

Splinter

Don’t go hands on with this guy. You got a lot to lose it and this piece of crap doesn’t.

As was already stated get it documented. Pictures, police report and a restraining order. If the girl was assaulted file a complain and get this guy questioned and hopefully charged. Have the police contact his Parole Officer ,if he has one ,and get him violated back to prison. Tell your bro to get a restraining order for the two kids against the shithead. That way if he shows up the cops can also violate him for that back to prison. The police and the DA can help you with is. They should be your advocate and they have no love for violent ex cons.

Go fly out. Sounds like your borther and niece and nephew need the support.

Good Luck whatever you decide.

I’m with above. You need to tell your brother to get pictures. Then you need to call the police and have them take your niece’s statement.

Then your brother needs to call his ex and tell her if the douchebag isn’t gone, you’re going to DHS and getting a lawyer and having the kids removed from her care and custody.

Having been in a situation that is similar, I took the same measures. My exwife cared more for her kids than the boyfriend. She kicked him out and got a VPO put on him.

We haven’t seen him since.

[quote]hedo wrote:
Don’t go hands on with this guy. You got a lot to lose it and this piece of crap doesn’t.[/quote]

Could not agree on this point more. In the end, you run the risk of facing all sorts of criminal nonsense of taking this guy on… and what do you really and truly gain for it? You would get to be an ex-con like him some day (not an attractive prospect).

Seriously, best of luck and I hope the custody piece works out.

Before you go out after this asshole remember that you could end up in jail for assault as well. Remind you brother of this as well so he doesn’t kick this guys ass and get himself thrown in jail. The kids need him to be there for them and not in jail. I know I would have a hard time not beating someone senseless if they hurt my girls but we have to do what is best for the kids. This dick head will get what is coming to him in the end, I don’t think God likes child abusing assholes too much so he will be taken care of.