T Nation

Cheney To Attack US If Kerry Elected

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4041

“If the wrong man is elected in November, the nation will come under a devastating armed attack of an unimaginable magnitude, one planned and executed by none other than myself,” Cheney said, speaking at a rally in Greensboro, NC. “When they go to the polls, Americans must weigh this fact and decide if our nation can ignore such a grave threat.”

Added Cheney: “It would be a tragedy to suffer another attack on American soil, let alone one perpetrated by an enemy as well-organized and well-equipped as I am. My colleagues and I urge voters to keep their safety in mind when they go to the polls.”

That was hilarious! I have to start reading the Onion again.

About as nutty as Edwards stating that President Bush destroyed Christopher Reeves chances for a full recovery.

Peronally, I’m glad the election is almost over, I’m tired of the crap coming from both sides…

This one is better

http://www.theonion.com/opinion/index.php?issue=4041

Oh hell yeah, that’s some good fucking shit! :slight_smile: