When does the wicked outweigh well being? I've had wild battles with myself trying to find an answer. I have nothing to offer as closure to the question to this day. What could possibly point a person in the direction of suicide games? That, my friends, I have found an answer. It seems my heavy use of XTC and Cocaine has given me a fearless mindset. Fearless doesn't describe it quite right, let's say I've become reckless recently.
So with the last clear thought I've had in a good while I have decided to seek rehab for my possible addiction. I say possible addiction because I am not an addict. I know that step 1 is admitting the problem, but this is a preventing measure I am aiming for. I had a nightmare of a future riddled with the street life, which my parents fought so hard to get my brothers and I away from. I will not become that!
I do not feel that drug use is a bad thing I actually support it. My deal is my heavy use and frequency. I hope to reconstruct my impulsive nature so I cab self medicate with better efficiency. I was brought into drugs years ago when I was a little rave kid, never getting the beginning stages or "1 hits" I was locked in with the "heavyweights".To be honest I have found most academic success while influenced by xtc. My goal, is to learn better control of drug use, not terminating it.
Anyway, I'm going to check in in the morning. More than likely I will not have internet acess which will cut contact with you mofos. My phone will be disconnected as well. Planning to stay until Fall semester starts in September. So good luck with training and your lives until then.
Consider this an attempt at recapturing my innocence