T Nation

Cheating wife....ended it.....It's over.

To all…again thanks for all the posts. I guess in the long run I knew what had to be done, just needed someone else to say it. So if anyone is interested here is some of how it went down.

Saturday morning I went over when I new my buddy was gone, and went in and told his wife that I had to talk to her. We have know each other for some time and I think she thought this was more of a causual visit. Well I told her it was going to break my heart to tell her this...but then I just blurted out, "I know you have been cheating!" I want you to call this guy and tell him it is over now, or I will tell my buddy when he gets back. Well you can't imagine the look on her face. She asked how I knew and I told her that was really not important, but she knew from my look I guess, that I was not joking around. She called this guy, and told him that she never wanted to see him again. Well I could tell this guy was giving her a hard time so I took the phone from her and told this guy look, You have two choices. One you stop seeing her and never ever come in her direction again, or you lose body parts. And I hung up on this faggot. I do not know this guy at all. With that over I sat back down at the table and of course by this time she had tears in her eyes and all. This was very hard for me, cause if a female wants ANYTHING from me all they have to do is start crying, I am a real sucker for that. (I hate to see women cry) Well I was able to hold back my emotions long enough to tell her that I wanted her to come clean with my buddy when he gets back. I told her that if she did not I would tell him by Monday.

Well she started to try and explain herself........but I told her to stop, I did not really care about the details and that she should save that for her husband. (Now we have major Niagra Falls) I told her I did not know what happened and not sure what would happen, but could not stand by and watch her do this to my best friend. Then I asked her if she realized how much he really loved her. By this time she was a mess and I told her I had to leave. I was starting to loose it myself. So I back out of the drive and start back to my place and about 5 blocks away from their house I run into my buddy who is on his way home. We pull off to the side and say hello and all that. I was about in tears my self and then he asked me if everything was okay. All I could say was I do not know we'll see. Told him I had to really get going...but would see him later.

Last night he stopped by the house, said his wife had taken the kids to some school function and he wanted to talk to me. We had a long talk. He looked pretty shook up still. He said when he got home she was still at the table sobbing and it took awhile for him to even get it out of her as to what was wrong. He told me he thought he was going to have a heart attack right there on the spot. Well they talked a bit. She told him that I had come over and she had called this guy and ended it. He said it was all so unreal he thougt it was all like a really bad dream. Well they sat at that table until about 6 that evening when my buddy told her he was leaving. He told her he would be back, and not to worry about him, but he had some thinking to do. He said he drove around all night Saturday night and just thought and thought and thought. The next day he went back around noon. Told her he was going to try and forgive her…but he would need some time.

He said she had till morning to decide weather or not she wanted to make it work and make it better than it was before, or she could leave. But he said he would never stand for anything like this again. He told her he would fight for the kids if she wanted to leave. She told him that night that she could not leave him, and that she still loved him very much.

Just by chance, I found out from some other people that this guy that she was cheating with is a real snake in the grass and this is not the first time he has had an affair with a married women.

Any way, my buddy Thanked me. Can you believe that. He said he was sure what I did was not easy. (See what I mean about this guy...after all that he thanks me for giving him the worst news in his life, God if I could only be like him) He said he still loved his wife, and could not see spending the rest of his life without her. She had told him she still loved him, and he added, I just hope she loves me as much as I love her. He asked me if I knew this guy, and I said I knew of him. I asked why, and he told me he would like to meet him in a dark alley some night. I told him he best think about that real good, and maybe let someone else with less to loose take care of that. He didn't say anything, just kind of grinned. Told me he did not thing he would be out and about much in the near future, and said I should stop by anytime. He said if nothing else I know the kids like seeing you. The last thing he told me was "You know ckick, I have seen this happen to other guys and always thought to myself how embarrassing it must be cause your always the last to know. Now it happens to me and all I can think about is does she love me."

Any way all…I think it will work out and all is good here. Again I can’t thank you all enough for the reinforcement. Hope I get the chance to help all of you someday. God Bless you all.

Wow. Way to go Ckick! I didn’t think it was best to tell your buddy but you knew him pretty well. All’s well that ends well. Now, how are you and I gonna get together and kick the snake’s butt? Does he happen to live in CT? Or Cleveland where I go on business? Or Carson City, NV? Or Corona, CA? Gotta get this bum! I feel the combat rush coming back and it feels sooooo good. Gotta get him. Gotta get him. Gotta get him.

I hope to God I never need a friend the way your buddy needed you – but if I do, I hope I do have a friend to do for me what you did. You’re a good man. Here’s hoping that it works out for your friend.

He should dump the bitch cold and take the kids. As far as beating the other guy up, what’s the point. She is as guilty as he is, so she deserves equal ass kicking. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If she stays, she will cheat again. The fact that she did not drop the guy on her own states that she had no intention of ever stopping or coming clean. I am sure most of the tears stem from the fact that she was emabarassed at getting caught, more so than being sorry she did it. After all she did try to justify it didn’t she? If that were my wife, she’d be getting served, period. I don’t cheat and neither will she.

You know, what that guy did was inexcuseable, but she was a willing participant. You can talk all you want about kicking this guy’s ass, but unless he raped her she shouldn’t get off the hook. She’s extremely fortunate that her husband is willing to take her back (I don’t think I could do that) but she is no less to blame.

Odd how these cheaters are always so sorry… after they get caught.

You’re right as usual Michelle. Sooooo, you can kick her cheating, scumbag ass and then everyone will be adequately punished.

You are a real friend. As far as finding this guy and beating his ass, that would be the sorriest, most inexcusable mistake that could possibly be made.

Once a cheat always a cheat isn’t necessarily always so, but if I was your friend I would watch his wife very carefully over the next little while. And you might want to keep a closer eye on your friend. The whole ending here seemed very neat and clean: “She apologized, I’ll take her back, everything will be fine now”. I don’t know. Maybe it will, but there will probably be a long readjustment period where trust needs to be rebuilt again. It could happen, but it will probably take a long time and your friend may be very touchy and needing of support. Keep on being there for him and watch for signs of denial (as in everything is okay now, we’re just fine).

laugh we can have a ‘hunting party’!!!

I 100 % agree with Pat and steve69…All of you put down the greasy ass slut that used to be married to Brock(and rightfully so).fuckin’ whore!Maybe you’re seeing the happy go lucky Hollywood ending you all want,but stop and think about it!This guys’ friend has kids,and all the while,his wife(who SUPPOSEDLY loves him SOO mouch)is out,lying on her back,spreding her legs,letting some fuck - face slide his greasy shaft in her box…make me sick,kick the bitch to the curb

I have watched this progress, but never posted bc I didn’t really have anything productive to add… anyway, I just wanted to say that my hat is off to you. Everybody needs a friend like you.

Alright, I can see it if somebody did it one time, felt very guilty and was extremely sorry. But nobdy can convince me that somebody who goes out to cheat again and again and only stops because they were caught, is never going to cheat again. That’s like trying to dam the Mississippi River with a box of tooth picks. Unless, of course, they die before they get another chance.

Congrats on the ending. You arfe one hell of a friend. But don’t expect to have the same relationship with either your buddy or his wife now. Not saying you shouldn’t have – it is just inevitable…no telling how she will spin it.

I would have to say that it would depend on the situation. If the woman is normally a faithful person, but she was pushed to the limit by the husband mistreating her or leaving her alone for months at a time due to work or other reasons, then there is hope for reconciliation. But if nothing is going to change in the future other than the fact that she got caught, then what is the point? What is to keep her from cheating again? Changed morals? Things like situation that put people in emotionally vulnerable positions can be changed, but I really don’t see what has changed in this case to make them hope for a better future.

Bullshit. The woman was the only one breaking a commitment here folks. She is the only one doing wrong. Granted he should not have. However seeing as we do not have both sides of the story I feel it is immature at best to put on the war paint. Shit, for all you know it could have been all her gunning for him. When someone is in a committed relationship it is up to them to keep that commitment not the public to not allow them to be sluts/whores/gigolos whatever… They are bound by the rules they agreed to not the rest of the f’n world. Jesus… I am hearing some of you make excuses her unfaithful behavior. If she was not happy she should have worked on it or got the fuck out. Tehre is no excuse to do what she did and it is not the guy’s fault in any way. It was her choice they other guy may have been wrong to pursue it however there would have been nothing to pursue if she was not a slut. Hell I know several men who have slept with married women and didn’t know they were married are they scum? I think not. Get off your high horses. There is only one wrong doer here if you place blame anywhere else it is miss-placed at best. At worst excusing shitty behavior.

A guy that KNOWINGLY screws around with a married woman is scum, a bottom feeder, and generaly disgusting. And she is not sorry, and did not cry becuase she was sorry. Her tears were for getting caught. He should divorce her right now. He has no basis to believe that she is actually sorry.

Good Job. Your a great friend. I don’t find fault with you buddy staying with her, but they need to talk to someone. We have too many broken families in the U.S. Sometimes situations like this can make a relationship stronger. Can you imagine how seperate from his wife he feels? I think if he can get to a point where he can discuss this maybe things can work out. Hopefully she really is sorry. She’s going to have to get used to not being trusted for a while, but eventually he’s going to have to trust her or they will never be happy.