[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]theBeth wrote:
[quote]conservativedog wrote:
How do some women wind up dating or marrying a guy 15 years older then them?
[/quote]
Good question. My daughter’s father who I was engaged to for 4 years is 17 years older than me. My most recent ex is 13 years older. The LTR before that is 12 years older.
For me it’s an intellect/maturity thing. Being drawn to people who can teach me something, who have broad interests, with whom I can have intellectual discussions/debates, someone who’s got the “wiggles” out and is more stable and knows what they want - which isn’t really the case after 3 failed attempts in this age range. All of these guys seduced me with vocabulary or an impressive catalog of knowledge of somekind.
For other women it’s financial security, and a guy who wants to keep a younger woman is apt to want to take care of her. [/quote]
Something to consider is that while you may feel that your maturity is driving the connection, just as likely it is their immaturity at play. If so, what might happen is that your standard rate of growth ultimately outpaces his, which is stagnant for whatever reason. At which point you no longer match one another.
[/quote]
Maturity is a minefield.
While I do agree that people of matching maturity seem to find each other if at all possible, it gets abused by women who declare all men to be immature who go for “younger, hotter, tighter, free”.
It is very easy to redefine “maturity” to try to shame men into having relationships with women they are simply not attracted to. [/quote]
Sure. But for one thing I disagree with you that same-age women have to be less attractive when all things are considered. The happiest people I know in LTRs are within a couple of years of each other and have both either maintained fitness or have both not. Looking twenty years down the line from 38 dating 25, I don’t see balding, paunchy old men with hot forty-somethings as being happy from either side. He’s got no one to share his childhood music and memories with and she’s with an old man. Or she gives up on taking care of herself and he’s old and paunchy and she’s younger and fat.
Too, at some point the pressure on the older partner to keep up with the younger is shaming also. [/quote]
Well, they dont have to be, they just usually are.
Also well, mebbe, but a beta schlub is not my high water mark.
Most men literally take what they can get.
If they could get “younger, hotter, tighter, free” they absolutely would.
Hot 40 somethings?
They exist.
I seem to remember a Mod on this site who must fall in this category by now…
They are the exception.
Also, 20 years down the line?
Mwuahahahahaha…
Any women you could plan 20 years down the line with is in a league on her own to begin with.