OP, your failure to properly manage expectations and set firm boundaries is manifesting in a way that is causing you to lose power in the relationship. The subsequent loss of respect (because of the afore mentioned failures coupled with your lack of self control) will manifest in increasingly bad behavior on her part in an attempt to elicit a response that is in ANY way shape or form, something that a MAN would do...
Stop supplicating, fuck her brains out until she taps out, and let her know that you have NO apologies for your desires as a man. She doesn't control your thoughts NOR your eyes. You made no attempts to interact with said gogo dancer, you just watched - WHICH IS WHY THEY ARE THERE: FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE. If she has a problem with that, show her where the door is, and let her know that she is welcome to use it. If she elects not to, let her know that she needs to stop her childish, controlling, castrating behavior post haste or you will throw her childish, insecure ass right on out.
And FTR, I have dated MANY Spanish/Latin women and they all TRY to assert some kind of control like this early on in the relationship. When this happens, I give them the gift of missing me for a bit until they come to their senses. After that it's, "Oh Papi, lo ciento, I was just jealous..." with their best pouty face. LMAO
Lift your skirt, grab your balls and put your fucking foot down! Latin women (and ALL women for that matter) need a MAN, not some supplicating wussy... Tell her to shut the fuck up or get the fuck out and PIIHP.