T Nation

Casual Sex??

Do all women just have casual sex these days or have they always? Just breaking up with a girl who I thought was pretty honerable, I am seeing that most women these days just screw all kinds of guys. Is this normal? My two friends are on a rampage screwing everything that moves and dumping them. I am not quite ready for that yet, but I still wonder that my next girlfriend will be a cum dumpster for the jerks out there. Nothing wrong with an occasional one nighter, but it seems totally out of hand. I am not a puritan by any stretch either. I guess I am not super interested in fucking everything that moves. I just want to find a person who is pretty normal and has a fairly respectable record. I’m not expecting a virgin, but not a slut either. Does the Ally McBeal fucking someone new every week and MTV and Sex in the City “woman” prevail now a days? Am I just old fashioned or just stupid…


PS Sorry if this isn’t fair or PC. And no, women don’t have the same sex drive as men, so forget that arguement…

“And no, women don’t have the same sex drive as men, so forget that argument…” I was kind of with you up until that last sentence. If you’re implying that men have a naturally higher sex drive than women, you obviously have yet to meet a true T-Vixen. Personally, I don’t care what a woman has done in her past, only what she does now and in the future. I don’t like the hedonistic tone of popular media these days either, but for how long have men been lionized for their conquests while women, sometimes the very ones that these “studs” bed, are demonized? If the situation were at all fair, men would have been raked across the coals for their behavior long ago.

I think in many ways women are not so different from men, i.e. you will see all kinds of women as you do men. Some will screw anything in sight and others will stay untouched until they get married. And tv is just tv - not real life (I didn’t really have to say that, right). And finally in my humble experience there is no difference in male and female sex drive (but maybe I’m just very, very lucky :-)))

I think it runs the gamut, just like it always has. It’s just become somewhat more socially acceptable to talk about it. Likewise, the ones who aren’t probably aren’t going to talk about THAT either. But it also is environment-dependent, meaning that certain environments are going to attract those who tend to have more sex partners. If you’re not looking for the type of girl that frequents those environments, then find another environment that DOES attract the type of girl you’re looking for.

Demo hit the nail on the head. A girls past is her past and none of my business. What she did in the past has no bearing on our relationship. The only responsibility a person has to disclose there past is if they have contracted an STD or something similar. Personally I prefer women who have played the field a little. They usually know what they like and know how to let you know. I find women who are comfortable with their bodies and there sexuality much more attractive and sexy.

Women don’t have more or less casual sex than every before… now we just are more free to talk about it.

Nothing beats having sex every night with the same person - a person that you love. Seriously. And what do you mean women don’t have the same sex drive as a man? You think we desire sex less? Hmmm. Interesting. And what is up with all the guys whining on this site? Very wierd. This post is especially confusing - you complain that the gals you know are jumping in and out of the sack left and right - but end it with a “women don’t have the same sex drive as men…” Again, very wierd. I have to add this: if I could have sex EVERY night - I would. Sometimes I(I should say, ‘"we’"for my boyfriend and I), do - uh, right? (I know my boyfriend is going to see this at some point…). ALOT of confusion on this site about women…

With the invention of the pill women are able to have more sex without such a fear of getting pregnant. Hence between the time of the introduction of the pill and now the time of aids, there was women’s liberation. Not to say women did not have casual sex before the pill, but obviously it provides a lot of advantages. Also I find the older you become, the wider your eyes become to see the world.

I would have to disagree with GymJim on one thing. That “TV is just TV”.

Now for those of us who are mature and already settled into who we are, that may be true, but
what is portrayed on TV has a huge sway with the younger generation. Think about it, kids watch stupid shows like Dawsons Crack, Buffy the Vampire Screwer and Felatio i mean felicity, not too mention MTV and think “those guys/girls are all screwing each other, thats the way i should behave”.

In the vacuum of not having parents address the issue, what else are these kids going to believe?

Yeah…you ain’t gettin no virgins because ol’ Rookie is poppin’ their cherries in his SUV behind his hot Cuban girlfriend’s back!!! LOL Serriously, women are giving it up more because the social norms like the value of virginity and “slut” have gone out of style…it’s a brave new world out there.

“Serriously, women are giving it up more because the social norms like the value of virginity and “slut” have gone out of style.” Scott - the only difference between then and now is women don’t have to be quite as afraid of the opinions of ‘society’ if they choose to have sex. Virginity is still valued. 50 years ago a woman who chose to have sex before marrage - even once - was labeled ‘easy’, now it is just not that big a deal. And slut has gone out of style? GOOD. Because those of us who choose to enjoy sex are really tired of hearing it. Guy sleeps with 20 women - he’s a stud, girl sleeps with 10 guys, she’s a slut. Do you see a rampant double standard here? And people like you are responsible for it.


I tell ya’ what, for the sake of other T-Men, I will end my conquest so others may share in the spoils. (just kidding, man I now I’m gonna get some crap for that one!)

I don’t knoiw what you guys are talking about. Where I am, girls who get around a lot are called sluts & guys who get around are called players. There’s no double standard as far I as I know. There are lots of girls who won’t want to be with a guy if he’s been with lots of women.

Drax - yes, guys who sleep around are called ‘players’ but rarely are they seen as dirty or used. How often have you heard whore and slut used interchangeably? A player… well, he’s just a player. Sure maybe not a nice guy, but when that ‘player’ walks up to his friends and says ‘Hey, I just did 2 girls in one night’ he is treated MUCH differently than a girl who says she ‘did 2 guys’

Have to disagree with you there michelle. Man-sluts are no different than woman-sluts. I wouldn’t want my sister to even go on a date with a ‘player’ aka ‘slut’, nor would I want my nephew to go on a date with a ‘whore’ aka ‘easy’ aka ‘slut’. No double standard.

You’re right. Rookie’s running around poppin’ cherries in his SUV like there’s no tomorrow. As for casual contact…did I ever tell you about the time when Bionic, Patricia, and I …

Michelle – I thought you were upset that GUYS had double standards about behavior, but your example, unless I misunderstand it, seems more relevant to how other GIRLS refer to GIRLS who “do 2 guys.” In my experience overall, women are much more vicious toward other women whom they view as threats, and they use the slut, whore, etc. monikers because they see the women who are so much more free with their sexuality as threats to entice away the men in whom the more sexually conservative girls are interested. Or, in some cases, they just want to call them names because they are jealous. At any rate, it seems to me that women are far more judgmental in general toward sexually freewheeling behavior than are men – which isn’t to say that all men would happily run off to marry a woman who had slept with all of his friends, but just to point out the juxtaposition. I think most guys are comfortable with a woman with experience – provided it just isn’t too much more experience than the guy has had… My $0.02.

Joe - I agree and disagree with you. I was speaking from the ‘general’ view. No, personally I don’t view men and women any different, but even here on the forum there is a HUGE double standard. Not so long ago I was called ‘dirty’ (or was it used?) by someone because I have had a few partners. He however was not a virgin and saw no problems with that. Women are taught to guard their virginity, men are taught that they need to ‘get experience’. More often than not, a woman with a few partners is judged much more harshly than a man with the same number.

Now this is interesting. We have to remember that men and women are equally promiscuous, regardless of whether we are talking about the present era or the past. I mean, every time a guy scores, so does a chick, right? There does seem to be a more casual standard overall than in the past. I understand Michelles problem with double standard, but I don’t see it changing either. I didn’t care that my wife wasn’t a virgin, but I would have been troubled had she been easy. Once the stigma / double standard issue is removed, there is the issue of self respect. How can someone that will bang anything that moves (male or female ) have much? Oh, and just for the record, virgins are shitty lays anyway. Give me a woman that knows her body and what she likes.

“I think most guys are comfortable with a woman with experience – provided it just isn’t too much more experience than the guy has had” exactly my point… women are often expected to be ok with their guy haveing more experience, though the opposite is viewed very negatively. And 3-L you have a good point, girls are often more harsh to each other. (**NOTE: my comments on this thread are not directed specifically at one person, though I have used some quotes.)