T Nation

Can't Connect/Communicate

Being lonely as fuck, no one to talk to, I only have 2 true friends in my life and I have never once had a friend online.

I even find it hard to relate to my family, my grandma tries to talk to me but she just frustrates me and aggravates me somehow when she tries to talk to me about something even though she is so nice to me.

It makes me tear up inside and want to cry, we used to have such a great bond, I can’t laugh at any jokes because I rarely find anything funny and I usually don’t end up getting most and when she tries to tell me one like I said before I don’t get it and I end up with a sad smile just as an expression of me attempting to laugh along with her, when I was a child we were best friends I don’t know what happened to me.

My father tries to talk with me but I can’t seem to find anything in common with him to talk about, always a dull conversation with me saying ‘yeah’.

I can’t communicate with other people, I have been so socially disconnected that I have trouble understanding when people speak it only hits me 8-40 seconds after I think about it I literally say what 3 times and I still don’t hear and I am extremely quiet and people have this same problem with me.

Anyone know dat feel?

I’m not sure if you are serious or not but if you are I would try talking to someone about it.

If you are still in school I would talk to a counselor or someone. I don’t have any experience with what you are talking about but to me it seems like seeking help from a professional would be a good idea.

Good luck.

I don’t want to seek help from a professional and I am totally serious about this, this would be truly sad if it was a troll thread and would not in the slightest way be funny I just want to express this… seems like the only place to

Well aside from the fact this should probably be in GAL… I know how you feel. Went through this for awhile and sometimes I still fall into periods where I feel very disconnected from everybody, including close family and friends.

Not sure how anyone gets over something like this, I just kinda ignored it and got on with the things I had to get done. But I would suggest seeking help man… its not bad to go talk to a professional - Tony Soprano even did it. Seriously though, I doubt you will get much help here.

Check out the recent thread on depression in GAL. Your problem appears to be related and there is some decent info in there. However, trying to get in touch with a professional is probably still your best bet at getting better.

1- DO NOT KEEP THESE FEELING SECRET. Talk to anyone you trust and seek advice and don’t be so hard as to not want to be helped.

2- “I only have 2 true friends”. This is not something you should say so lightly. Just becuase people surround themselves with people does not mean they have many TRUE friends. Hell 1 true friend is HUGE.

Don’t let TV & the internet fool you. In the real world most people talk to many people during the day and socialize alot at night but have few if any TRUE FRIENDS.

Sounds like depression. Most people get it at some point in their lives. When did this start? It might be a seasonal thing–you get depressed in the winter because of decreased light. Light therapy can help.

Two things that have been proven to work for general depression are medication and aerobic exercise. In fact, aerobic exercise works just as well as medication. I don’t know how much it will conflict with your weight training goals, but running 20 minutes a day, 3-5 days a week will help with depression. But any amount of aerobic exercise will likely help–one study I looked at showed elevated moods with only 20 minutes of aerobic exercise a week!

[quote]watermelon29 wrote:
Being lonely as fuck, no one to talk to, I only have 2 true friends in my life and I have never once had a friend online.

I even find it hard to relate to my family, my grandma tries to talk to me but she just frustrates me and aggravates me somehow when she tries to talk to me about something even though she is so nice to me.

It makes me tear up inside and want to cry, we used to have such a great bond, I can’t laugh at any jokes because I rarely find anything funny and I usually don’t end up getting most and when she tries to tell me one like I said before I don’t get it and I end up with a sad smile just as an expression of me attempting to laugh along with her, when I was a child we were best friends I don’t know what happened to me.

My father tries to talk with me but I can’t seem to find anything in common with him to talk about, always a dull conversation with me saying ‘yeah’.

I can’t communicate with other people, I have been so socially disconnected that I have trouble understanding when people speak it only hits me 8-40 seconds after I think about it I literally say what 3 times and I still don’t hear and I am extremely quiet and people have this same problem with me.

Anyone know dat feel?[/quote]

Yes, we all get this way.

Talk to your father about this. At least it gives you something to talk about.

Go do something with somebody. Men are actors (not like “movie actor,” but as in “people who do actions”) by nature. My best friends are unlikely people with whom I share common actions — e.g., weight lifters, an American guy who I helped learn Hebrew, the guys with whom I brew beer.

Why are you not interested in seeking professional help?

Sounds like depression…

Congratulations?

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
the guys with whom I brew beer. [/quote]

“He-brew”?

Sorry.

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
the guys with whom I brew beer. [/quote]

“He-brew”?

Sorry.[/quote]

GOLD Dipped in GOLD

[quote]four60 wrote:

[quote]PimpBot5000 wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
the guys with whom I brew beer. [/quote]

“He-brew”?

Sorry.[/quote]

GOLD Dipped in GOLD[/quote]

[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
[/quote]

Holy shit that actually exists?!

Get involved in team sports and the strippy bar

He-Brew is actually really F’ing good.

OP,

you need to see someone. Also, conversation is a two way street. Ask people about themselves. Generally depression is focusing on yourself.

Try reading some self-improvement books or something that will help you get out of your awkward zone and talk to people. Try “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie.

I really want to type out a long serious responce, but I also really think you should talk to a professional.

Just print out this post, and hand it to her, and request that she ask questions so you don’t have to talk much.

I just feel like to break down your post point by point would further prevent you from getting help you may very well need.

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