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Can Guys and Girls REALLY be Friends?

We ladies have a question for you: can a guy and a girl really have a platonic relationship/friendship without sexual hidden agendas? Whaddya say? We say, no.

Very rarely. Guys will only really show a “friendship” type interest in a girl that he would want to have sex with. I’ve been pretty good friends with a number of girls where nothing happened. However, they were all girls that I would have liked to screw had the circumstances been different. Put it this way…even if nothing ever happens, a guy really isn’t going to become friends with a girl he wouldn’t like to bang. Sounds really bad I know. Oh well. LL

Pantydropper! I love it! Great choice for a name. Have you been watching Varsity Blues? As I believe “Tweeter” mentioned that all women are pantydroppers! LOL! All you have to do is give them some of the liquid pantydropper, and it’s on! LOL!

As for your question, I have had many female friends. Many of them, I wanted to have sex with. But I did stay friends with them on a plutonic level. Mainly because they were friends of friends or because they were dating friends of mine. And many of them come to me for advice on “guy issues” as they seem to think I have much good advice.

But to answer your question, let me tell you this. My best (and long term) friends have always been guys. Guys make better friends than girls. Someone (can't remember who - comedian or actor) had recently made a joke about that, and it is totally true.

I enjoy the company of female friends, but for the most part, there is usually the thought in the back of my mind about having sex with them. The only time this does not hold true is if I have no sexual interest or attraction to the female. And usually, we may be friends, but not close friends. :slight_smile:

So whaddaya say pantydropper? You want to come hook it up with Nate Dogg? :wink:

I would have to agree with the other guys. It is like that scene from “When Harry Met Sally,” Harry says that guys are always going to think about sex with an attractive woman, so a true friendship is not possible. Then Sally asks if a friendships with ugly women are possible. He replies, “Nah, you pretty much want to nail them too.” What prevents guys from having sex with ALL women is one or combination of the following reasons: they are related to the woman in question, they are afraid of the sex meaning meaning something more than sex, having sex with the woman would hurt friendships with guys friends, it would get them fired, or they are just too shy to ask.

The only girls I kave hung out with are girls I would have slept with. One in particular was really cute, but a little dingy. She was hot, but knowing how goofy she was kept me from feelings. Good pal, though. Friendships have developed with some women, but it always srated out as sexual interest. Guys and dogs make better platonic friends.

Someone on this forum said not too long ago that guys don’t talk to girls unless 1.They want some or 2. They’re already getting some.

I’m responding to your post mainly because your name is Pantydropper. No! Men and women can’t be friends without sexual tension. Either the guy wants the girl or vice versa, or both. From personal experience, what I’ve observed of others, and what I know of social psychology research, Platonic relationships are illusory…

Every guy must admit with a platonic girlfriend: when she does the abducter machine or he catches her in scimpy clothes he will always think to himself - What if? Most of the time the testosterone can only be controlled is if he is already in a reeeeally good relationship with a girl he truly respects, in some physcological dump with dating and woman in general, or just left the bathroom with this months Maxim mag rolled under his arm. Contrary to these “normal” circumstances, I have known some awesome chicks that were just good friends, meaning I wouldn’t want to risk making a commitment with them and losing that -they were just cool as shiznet. I will call those “The-big-brother-relationships.” You feel more like family and an ear for her as she does with you. It’s possible.

Platonic relationship: When a girl is friends with a guy that wants to fuck her.

Looks like I’m the odd one out [again]. Most of my closest friends are female and the majority of them I don’t want to bang. Sure, with some of them I’ve thought about it, but I guess with the female friends I don’t want to sleep with it’s been because we’ve shared too much personal stuff. [Note: the one’s I haven’t wanted to bang have been attractive - it’s not like they lost a shovel fight or anything]

A lesbian friend of mine and I used to get together over lunch and compare techniques and notes - I suppose you could call that a sexual agenda???

And what the hell is a plutonic relationship?? Something to do with radiation? You mean a platonic relationship grin

girls make for lousy friends imho. i actually only consider that i have 2 of them any i haveknown them for awhile. the rest are just associates.

The majority is right on the money in this thread. The only time a guy can be friends with a girl there is some sort of “firewall” that, in his mind, keeps him from acting. The most common firewall is the fact that the guy doesn’t find the girl attractive (although the strength of that one varies indirectly with the number of beers consumed). Some other common firewalls are the fact that the girl is dating or has dated a buddy, has dated the guy in the past but was extremely annoying/clingy, or the girl is in some sort of other relationship (from boyfriend to married). The main thing to keep in mind here is that the firewall is from the guy’s perspective, which means it is only as strong as his morals. Some guys would think nothing of trying to steal a buddy’s girl or trying to seduce a married woman (those guys deserve the beatings they get IMHO).
I think the main reason girls often get confused and think guys just want to be “friends” is that women don’t understand just how little effort generally goes in to male friendships. Women are always doing little things for one another and putting effort into all their relationships, so it doesn’t seem unusual to them to see a guy going out of his way to spend time with them or be nice to them. I always tell my sister that the surest way to tell if a guy is interested in more than just friendship is to guage how much effort he puts in just to see her or contact her – especially if they’ve just met. And I’ve yet to be wrong with my predictions. From a guy, effort is equivalent to being interested in more than just a friendship.

Pantydropper, all you girls ever want is sex, sex and more sex. When are you gals gonna realize that we guys have minds too? We would like to have platonic realtionships with women but you keep pawing at us all the time trying to get into our pants. I am tired of you all staring at my crotch all the time. I am not giving in to another female that doesn’t repect my mind. :(~

well, i have almost as many girl friends as guy friends. I do not want to bang alot of the girls i hang out with at all… however (you knew that was coming) there are a few that i would perhaps persue a romantic relationship with, or else just fuck for fucks sake if they asked. and with certain girls who i know want me and i want them there is often sexual tension but we never (or rarely) experiment or act on it.

We ladies have a question for you: can a guy and a girl really have a platonic relationship/friendship without sexual hidden agendas?<

Everytime I try to get to know a girl, become friends with her, etc. it seems she's always the one to change the situation first. Meaning, she'll go for a kiss.. when I was in no way wanting to do so. They automatically assume if I'm "hanging" with them so much, I want them in that way. Which, on their part, is ignorant. I'm in such a situation right now actually. Girls can't ever just BE FRIENDS with a guy. Or, that's what my experience with such has shown. But, I could def. be just friends with a girl. There are times, however, when I get friendly feelings screwed up with more, but times like that are few and far between. - My 2 cents. ;)

LOL Avoids Roids! I feel ya man. All of these vixens always grabbing our wangs and trying to suck em. Why can’t they just leave us alone. We’re not just pieces of meat. We have feelings too!!

In all seriousness, I would like to fuck every single female friend I have that is remotely hot. unfortunately most of them have boyfriends so i haven’t tried to make any moves on them.

The short answer is no.

The only men that are not interested in getting in your pants, more often than not, will be your hairdresser.

There are not very many women that I couldn’t be attracted to for at least 35-45 minutes.

Sir Hacksalot

I think that guys and girls can definately be friends w/o some sort of hidden sexual agenda. I have female friends that I consider very attractive, but I am not friends with them because I want to sleep with the. Would I sleep with them? Hell yes, but that is not the motivating force behind me picking up the phone to give these girls a call.

I think there’s a lot of confusion in this thread. First, sexual tension does not mean a hidden sexual agenda. Men CAN have a purely friendship platonic relationship with a woman, have sexual thoughts, but if there’s no real desire to carry out those thoughts, there’s no hidden agenda. The “firewall” concept is a good one. Very appropriate. I’ve had many female friends that had no sexual context to them at all. For the ones that did, usually, the change was made by the woman, who started making sexual jokes and then tried to get more serious.

i don’t see why not. sure, there may be some sexual tension, but that doesn’t HAVE to get in the way of a friendship. it takes work though.