T Nation

Can a guy get a lil help here

I would love to get cut up naturally and also have some decent size. My problem is the gym it scares me…not the gym itself but the people. Ive kinda got a problem with feeling that people are staring at me, it makes me very uncomfortable. And i basically have no self motivation at home. Im an ok sized guy 5’8 235 prolly 40 lbs over weight. I just need something to get me focused and to help with my mental anxieties with the gym. Does any got any ideas? Greatley appreciate them.

men stare at the hot chicks and the really huge doods (cuz we admire em not cuz were gay OK? AIGHT?) so an overweight dood isn’t going to be noticed much till he drops some fat and gains some muscle then you’d be noticed for being a hardworker whose on the right track. Dunno about the gym in your area but the gym in mine there is a whole variety of people, ultra skinny wussies, little sissy girls, wussie sissies, fat wussie sissies, fat doods who may or may not be wussie sissies and me.

Like they say in rehab, face your fears and watch them disapear…

This happened to me years ago, but to a lesser extent. I too was a bit intimidated, thinking people were staring. I got a great walkman, taped a bunch of my favorite music, went in focusing on my goals, and never looked up. When I did look up, I found people were NOT staring at me, and if they were I didn’t give a shit. I wasn’t there for them, I was there for me. As time went on (a very short time), I started dropping serious fat, and began meeting people in the gym, it got more and more comfortable. Go in with the focus on your physical goals, and the psychological ones may end up taking care of themselves. Best wishes.

You know what? If you don’t get your ass to the gym, you will be in the exact same position this time next year. Suck it up. Go to the gym. If you are really self-concious, keep your eyes straight ahead and don’t look at anyone. Pretend it’s your own personal gym. No one cares about your love handles. No one cares that you’re struggling while using light weights. No one at the gym cares if you stick to a program or if you give up, go home and watch TV on the couch. This has to be your decision and if you let your fearful fantasies that the muscleboys and buff betties are all talking about your fat ass behind your back prevent you from achieving your goals, you will never forgive yourself. If you get your ass to the gym and do this right, you will only feel self-concious for the first few weeks, then you will be comfortable at the gym. I have overcome the self conciousness and achieved some of my goals and I am thankful for it. I also have done this multiple times. I have walked out of the gym in good shape and walked back in 6 months later dragging my fat ass and hanging gut guiltily past the staff members who helped me get in shape the first time. If that’s not embarrassment, I don’t know what is. But it helps me realize that I have to stick to the plan.

Just go. Don’t think about it. Just get your ass in there and stick to it.

Y’know you’re doing the right thing by coming to T-Mag. Right there, puts way ahead of most of the people in the gym. And people may stare because you’re a new face - but after that, probably not. I don’t notice people in the gym only cuz, we’re so busy destroying ourselves with our workout. Who’s got the time to stare? I only notice the people doing the really funny or wierd stuff - but since you’re posting here on T-Mag and assuming that you will know correct form - you should be okay. Hey, I usually dress all in black and sometimes wear the baggiest, most beaten up sweats one can imagine - I like to go “incognito” when I work out. Hey, dude just go in the gym, check it out - but just DO IT.

I found this on charles staleys site it has helped me in all aspects of my life if u read the book and do the sxcercises it really works u just gotta believe what u tell yourself. HEres the link www.myodynamics.com/mentaltoughness.pdf

Rafe: My strongest guess is that no one reallygives
a fuck about you or your 40 lbs of excess baggage!
(in a nice sorta way) You have every bit as much
right to be there as they do. I think you’re turning
this whole thing into a selffulfilling prophecy -
you look at them to see if they are looking at you

  • then they look at you because they think you’re
    looking at them!!! Everybodys got their own shit
    to worry about - they’re not worrying about yours.
    Now Rafe, go back into the gym and kick some
    ass!.. (Boley)

Just go no one cares, and if they do to hell with them. If you are still concerned then try going late at night or early in the morning or mid-afternoon when the gym is slow. My gym is open 24 hours, lok for one that is the same.

rafe, I hope you read every word of every reply because it all is the best advice you are going to get…I was working out at home for some time and I decided that I was going to get more serious about lifting so I went to the gym and looked around to see If I wanted to join, as I walked into the weight room everyone was looking at me and I felt very uncomfortable, but then I realized f@*% them Im gonna get huge no matter who looks at me and ever since that day Ive never turned back…now get your ass to the gym…

If you give a decent gym a chance, you’ll find that nobody stares at anybody negatively due to physical conditioning level. We are all in the gym to get more muscular, stronger, or both, and none of us are satisfied with our own physiques and strength levels, so we generally aren’t condescending toward anyone else. In fact, you are best off in this regard in a gym with decent lifters (as opposed to some chrome-plated fitness center where few people are really trying to improve). At a real gym, there are only a few REALLY big guys; all the other lifters are also smaller and weaker than someone else. And the few really big guys aren’t looking negatively at anyone (except people that distract their workout. That being said, there are times when people may seem to be watching you. A few of these are:

  1. If you dress up like a 'roided out pro bodybuilder from a Joe Weider magazine (you know, short shorts and Otomix shoes). PLEASE just wear regular training clothes.

  2. People may look if you are using incorrect form on an exercise. When I started training in a commercial gym while still in high school (about 9 years ago), lifters would point out flaws in each other’s techniques, so that we could all improve. It was great! But now, everyone is so damn defensive, that, unless someone asks, we typically just let novice lifters perform goofy-ass exercises. If a good lifter seems to watch you and you think you may have used improper form, feel free to ask him about it. He’ll probably spend a good amount of time helping you out. I know I help people out all the time.

  3. People come and go from gyms all the time (especially novices). If the other lifters don’t seem friendly, this is why. If you stick it out for at least a month, people will be friendlier.

Good luck with your training. The mental toughness and self-confidence from training will help you with all other aspects of your life!

Freebie, somebody already tried to correct it before, but apparently it needs to be said again. It’s “dude,” NOT “dood.” It normally wouldn’t get to me, but you tend to use the word multiple times in all of your posts.

Scott H. don’t make me start a threat titled whats with all the dood bashing…

When I joined my gym I didn’t even go for two weeks and I could see the damn place from my front window. I always said I’d go tomorrow and that turned into several weeks. Once I made myself go every day things turned around. I go 6 days a week and I’m addicted to it. I’m in the best shape I have ever been in. My advice to you is to set realistic goals, take the right supplements and work your ass off in the gym. Don’t worry about the other people in there. Concentrate on your goals and you will be successful.