T Nation

Calling All T-Men Re Boinking

Being an admitted old fart, I was surprised to hear of what is considered normal good clean fun by the Generation Xers. Besides the apparently socially acceptable practice, according to The Edge, of whipping your weinie out when the mood strikes, I was enlightened by fellow T-Man Nate Dog about the practice of what I shall refer to as “boinking”. Boinking is, in the paraphrased words of everyone’s favorite Dog, taking one’s salami out and rubbing it on a male friend’s head while he is sitting down. Admittedly this sounds a bit gay to me but I’m a baby boomer and somewhat removed from today’s mores. When I was a teenager, back in the bygone era of the 50’s, I was the lone Irish kid in a predominately Italian small town. Everybody seemed to have slicked back black hair and cigarettes in the ears so, if I had managed to survive boinking one of my friends, I would have had enough grease on my pencil to slip it into the ignition switch of my beloved 1947 Ford ragtop.

Anyway, the purpose of my post is to do a research study on the prevalence and acceptability of boinking in today’s social environment. Therefore, I would appreciate hearing from ALL T-Men around the world if they enjoy boinking and, whether they participate in boinking or not, if they feel it is a socially acceptable way of entertaining friends today. I don’t mean to exclude women so if there are any heavy female roid users out there with the physical ability to boink, lets hear from you too. And, further, I would be interested in knowing what females think of their male partners boinking each other. This could end up as a very enlightening T-Mag article. So, T-Mag staffers, give us your input also please. Brock, do you boink Cy or Chris? How about Tim Patterson, does he go around the office boinking the staff? Based on the success of this post, I may then research the art of wagging one’s weinie at people. This could even lead to a new way of getting Osama Bin Laden. The Edge and his buddies could wag their weinies at Osama and , while he is sitting there transfixed saying “Wad da fug?”, The Dog could sneak up on him and boink him on his flea infested head. How much is that reward up to now? Anyway, for today, lets stick to just researching boinking. And don’t be shy, detail for us your favorite boinking technique. There is a lot that can be learned here. In faith, Peace, sayanara, hasta luego and good boinking to all. Avoids Roids

If any tried that on me he’d get his balls stomped in. That’s no joke.

I am disgusted by the crap that some of the people on these forums talk about(i.e. genital exposure, playin’ ho’s,etc.). If anybody “boinked” me they would be wearing it for a necktie. Grow up guys.

I agree with Drax. Don’t ever touch me with your piece. Ever.

Jeez, I can’t believe this one still rages on. Listen “Avoids Roids”, please if you want to quote me, please quote me correctly. Your statement of “according to The Edge, of whipping your weinie out when the mood strikes” is false. The FACT is, as a joke between friends, ONE person put the TIP of his dick at the top of his pants as a GAG, a JOKE, a PRANK. Everyone involved found this funny, and will continue to see it as funny.

NO WHERE was it written that anyone here, as you put it, “takes out their dick at the dinner table and brutally beats people to death with it, then anally rapes them” nor did anyone pull out their junk and start swinging it around in a helicopter-like motion to try to achive flight.

Now, Mr. "Avoids Roids", have you ever seen the movie "American beauty"? Remember the weird kid who lived next door, who Kevin Spacey was getting his marijuana from? OK, now, you remember that kids dad???? YUP, THATS YOU. You cannot deny an exact resemblance to that character. Shall we call you "Seargent Avoids Roids?" People like you are dangerous. Just like that guy in the movie. You bottle up all these emotions, hating everyone else who has a good time, then you go and try to kiss Kevin Spacey. Tsk Tsk. Take care Sargeant!

Avoid, are you a homosexual?

I should have added that, while I have never been a boinker, I have been a boinkee. Once, while I was lying on the floor playing with some of our Lab puppies, one snuck up behind me and boinked me on my head. It wouldn’t have been too bad except his front dew claws really dug into my ears. Mrs. Roids, who always has been a woman ahead of her time, thought it was quite entertaining. But a word of caution, watch out who boinker is…you could end up losing your hearing to overeager four footed boinkers.

For once we agree on something, Avoids.
(laugh) I guess I would be considered a “gen
x” demographically, and I don’t consider this
acceptable behaviour. I would never do it. And
if anyone ever did that to me he would find
his face slammed into the ground faster than
he knew what hit him. Yes, this strikes me
as being gay-ish, not to mention childish.
But I guess I’m just no fun (yeah right).
If you have to play penis fetish tricks to
have fun, then you aren’t very creative.

fuck, thats the most disgusting thing ive heard for a while, if that ever happened to me violence wouldnt be far away.
but then none of my friends are gay so i dont have to worry about it

LMOA, 'Roids!

There were a group of guys in my high school (early 90s) who dick slapped each other after showering with alarming regularity. While someone was sitting down putting their shoes on, one of these latent homosexuals would sneak up and smack em in the ear with their dick. These same brain surgeons used to piss on each other in the shower. Eventually 3 people had to be hospitalized with staph infections and some specialists from Texas A&M had to come and decontaminate the locker room.

Gee Mr. Edge, you sound a bit edgy tonight. Relax and have a brew. I think that dick at the dinner table quote you mentioned belongs to someone else…I can’t remember who said it but I have heard it elsewhere. Maybe on a Brady Bunch rerun? No, unfortunately I missed the critically acclaimed movie American Beauty so I am uninformed as to the character you are refering to. However, I will take your word for it that he is a stand up guy. Oh yeah, fyi, it used to be Capt. Roids, USN. I might have made it to seargent but we seem to have misplaced that classification in the Navy. I do remember Seargent Bilko though. He was great. And I DO appreciate the meaning of a Gag/Joke/Prank. Unfortunately, there are some, even within this deadly serious post, who do not. Anyway, back to the research project Mr. Edge. What is your favorite boinking strategy? Ooooops gotta run. My dog, Boinker, needs to go out and drain his dragon. Seeya tomorrow and I can’t wait to get your boinking input. This could lead to a new career as a T-Mag writer. YaHooooo.

When did the word “boinking” mean rubbing your dick on someones head? Boinking means fucking, come up with your own new word.

Sorry Big Dave but my Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary doesn’t have that definition for boink. In fact, it doesn’t even have boink in there at all…an oversight that I will bring to the attention of the G. and C. Merriam Company immediately. Would you like me to add your definition as a secondary meaning? But you may have to come up with a slightly more eloquent definition to satisfy the dictionary police. I just don’t think “fucking” will cut it as they usually don’t define words using their present participle form. Must be a geeky type of joke/gag/prank kind of thing.

Sounds like a few people have taken things way out of context here. First of all, I never termed it “boinking.” Nor do myself or my friends have a term for it. Do we act childish and immature at times? Hell yeah! Is it fun? Hell yeah!

You know, we don’t go around putting our dicks on someone’s head on a regular basis. That only happens every once in a while! LOL! Many times, you’ll just see one of my friends pull his balls out because he likes to show off that he has some of the biggest balls you’ve ever seen. And he’s proud of those big balls of his. Or maybe, he’ll do the “I sat in gum trick.” This is where you pull your zipper down just enough to pull out a loose part of your nut sack. This loose, wrinkled part will look almost like you “sat in a piece of gum.” Or better yet, someone may decide to take his balls out and rub them on your car window or car handle while you’re trying to leave. Or someone may just decide to show his cock and balls for the hell of it. And of course, there is always the game of “slap ass” where you hit someone’s ass with your hand with the intention of inflicting a huge amount of pain. Guys and girls are game on that one!

Now, I must say, many times, this happens as a result of alcohol consumption. And other times, it happens just for the fun of it. It's always within our group of friends, where everyone is a legal adult, and no one is offended by such practices. Again, it's harmless, immature fun that we have! So whether this is practiced among many other people or not, I don't know. I really don't care if other people do it or not. We are just a demented group of "Gen Xers" who are not offended easily and are also a very close knit group. As many of us have been friends for 8-12 years. So what's the big deal? Hey, what me and my friends do is really not your concern. And if you were in the company of my friends, you may witness seeing someone's cock and balls, but no one would rub them on you or put them on your head. As you are obviously not a part of our group. You know, you can say it's "gay" or immature or whatever. But no one in our group is gay. I guess you could say that we are all very secure with our manhood. And seeing someone's cock and balls doesn't send anyone into a "homophobic" frenzy! It's all good. Like I said, it's done within our group where no one is hurt or offended by the practice. It's mainly done with a few guy friends, but there are a few girl friends that are "exposed" to it and not offended in anyway.

Avoids, you like taking things out of context and to the extreme huh? Oh, and watch American Beauty. That character is absolutely you. Holding back that homosexual urge, waiting for the right moment to strike an unsuspecting victim.

Nate, thats some funny shit. I’d venture to say my friends don’t go that far. That gum on my pants thing, now thats too far. I’d never go that far. Except for the time, as Avoids Roids would like to put it, pulled our dicks out as a team and swung them with such velocity that we achived flight. It was reckless abandon. People lost eyeballs. Shit, according to Avoids, we gang raped some nuns and then killed some babies.

This is all too funny. How about some more embellishment Avoids? How the hell did it go from one guy, in the comfort of friends, as a joke, in front of GIRLS WHO THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, to what you describe??

This thread is so funny for the misunderstanding it has caused. Too bad tone cannot be easily transmitted via text. Avoids is trying to be funny folks. Stop being so offended. By the way, the American Beauty character is Colonel Fitz. A colonel, not a sergeant. A HUGE difference in rank.

Avoids Roids, yes, boinking is a relatively hip word for fucking. No, you probably won’t find it in Mr. Webster’s book. I bet you also wouldn’t find knockin the boots, scoring some snatch, bumping uglies, or hitting skins.

Hyok, you’re right, Avoids Roids is trying to be funny, which is fine. But he is doing it with an unwarranted condescencion. He immediately turned something he didn’t have all the facts about into something personal.
I’m also being funny by calling him the guy from American Beauty.

Another thing here is it’s funny how you point out the guy in American Beauty was a Lieutenent or a Seargent or a Corporal or whatever his rank was. What the hell is the difference? Thats not the point of the story. he could be a garbage man for all I care. Yes, in real life you address accoring to rank, but it makes no difference hear. Thats just nit picking.

Sorry if I sounded condedescending about the rank thing. That was not my intent. Like I said, it is difficult to convey tone in writing. “American Beauty” is one of my all-time favorite movies and Colonel Fitz is one of my all-time favorite characters. His twisted character reveals a lot about people who try to act tough all the time. There is a guy who looks similar to him that I work with and we called him “Colonel” for awhile until he got sick of it. All in fun, guys.