T Nation

Calf Cancer


#1

OK so here's the situation: a couple of months back i snapped my Achilles tendon in a waterboat related accident. The doctor examining fucked upt he op. resulting in a massive build up of scar tissue. Now, as this was happening, my wife was plotting against me, and laced my daily Everclear shots with large doses of sodium penthathol. This resulted in my cells beginning to reject water, in an almost reverse osmosis fashion.

Now, this in combination with my scar tissue has resulted in a massive lump growing on my right calf, which I believe to be cancer due to the pus it oozes when I poke it. But my local GP wont check it out as he plans to run off with my wife when im too ill to do anyhting about it, as i unfortunately found out through hacking his computer witth a datachip. I need advice as to my next move, as my car has been sabotaged and it is impossible to walk with my current condition.

As far as i see it i need to steal a vehicle to get to a surgery fast, and then return for revenge on my wife and doctor. What are your suggestions for achieving eitther of these?


#2

This thread has retarded written all over it.


#3

.


#4

Fuck you guys i need legit advice not sum sarcy remarks written from behind the safety of your own keyboards


#5

Dude get a swiss army knife and shank both of them.

Sincerely,
Keyboard warrior

PS 'Nother '09 fail.


#6

[quote]sebbie wrote:
Fuck you guys i need legit advice not sum sarcy remarks written from behind the safety of your own keyboards[/quote]

Successful trolls never reply in their own threads that fast.

Your post is obviously a lie, even a soap opera writer would think that that scenario was too far-fetched. You hacked his computer with a datachip? Who the fuck uses the word “datachip”?


#7

[quote]sebbie wrote:
Fuck you guys i need legit advice not sum sarcy remarks written from behind the safety of your own keyboards[/quote]


#8

[quote]samdan wrote:
sebbie wrote:
Fuck you guys i need legit advice not sum sarcy remarks written from behind the safety of your own keyboards

Successful trolls never reply in their own threads that fast.

Your post is obviously a lie, even a soap opera writer would think that that scenario was too far-fetched. You hacked his computer with a datachip? Who the fuck uses the word “datachip”?[/quote]

I’m not trolling douchebag. Unfortunately, this situation is real. It’s not my fault if your too dense to work out what a datachip is


#9

[quote]sebbie wrote:
samdan wrote:
sebbie wrote:
Fuck you guys i need legit advice not sum sarcy remarks written from behind the safety of your own keyboards

Successful trolls never reply in their own threads that fast.

Your post is obviously a lie, even a soap opera writer would think that that scenario was too far-fetched. You hacked his computer with a datachip? Who the fuck uses the word “datachip”?

I’m not trolling douchebag. Unfortunately, this situation is real. It’s not my fault if your too dense to work out what a datachip is[/quote]

Steal a car. Go to the doctor’s office and wait in your car at night. He’ll probably be the last one to leave his office at night. Actually, wait under HIS car. When he comes up, pull his foot under and cut his throat.

THEN, take his doctor key and go to his lab. Inject everything you can see. Ideally, you will turn into a super-powerful mutant with regrowable limbs (think Resident Evil: Extinction). Then, slip into the sewers and emerge in your home’s bathroom. Plunge your expendable fingers into your wife’s eyes and through her brain; eat said brain to gain her wisdom.


#10

[quote]riverhawk23 wrote:
Dude get a swiss army knife and shank both of them.

Sincerely,
Keyboard warrior

PS 'Nother '09 fail.[/quote]

Fuckin good advice right here


#11

Kill your wife, then the doc, then yourself…scratch that, start in reverse order


#12

[quote]sebbie wrote:
samdan wrote:
sebbie wrote:
Fuck you guys i need legit advice not sum sarcy remarks written from behind the safety of your own keyboards

Successful trolls never reply in their own threads that fast.

Your post is obviously a lie, even a soap opera writer would think that that scenario was too far-fetched. You hacked his computer with a datachip? Who the fuck uses the word “datachip”?

I’m not trolling douchebag. Unfortunately, this situation is real. It’s not my fault if your too dense to work out what a datachip is[/quote]

I know exactly what a datachip is. I also know that they’re fuck-all useless for hacking nowadays. I would love to know how you got a datachip into your doctor’s computer; sounds like breaking and entering. Oh yeah, also “datachip” is a generic word for literally ANY circuit which has data-collecting/interpretting ability, usually inserted as IC chips in larger circuit boards. There are probably a few hundred in your phone, and a normal computer has bajillions. And since you won’t let this die, large doses of sodium pentathol wouldn’t cause you to reject water in your cells. It would either put you in a coma (it’s used for a lethal injection to put the victim into a rapid coma to prevent “suffering”) or kill you.

So… what was your point? Oh yeah, you’re a fucking loser who deserves to die. Except you aren’t dying because you’re a troll, so we all lose.

To reiterate; none of this is real. Stop pretending it is, not a single person in the entire world will believe you.


#13

Thats not cancer. That is your former sane self trying to escape the crazy from a low point.

You need to start wearing high heels to keep your sane part from touching ground and escaping.

Don’t tell anybody why or they will lock you up and steal your thoughts.


#14

[quote]riverhawk23 wrote:
Dude get a swiss army knife and shank both of them.

Sincerely,
Keyboard warrior

PS 'Nother '09 fail.[/quote]

Or this lol


#15

[quote]ahzaz wrote:
riverhawk23 wrote:
Dude get a swiss army knife and shank both of them.

Sincerely,
Keyboard warrior

PS 'Nother '09 fail.

Fuckin good advice right here[/quote]


#16

take pictures of said calf and post here


#17

1


#18

[quote]sebbie wrote:
Now, as this was happening, my wife was plotting against me, and laced my daily Everclear shots with large doses of sodium penthathol. This resulted in my cells beginning to reject water, in an almost reverse osmosis fashion.

[/quote]

dude, WTF?


#19

a wild snorelax


#20

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