T Nation

'C**t Neighbor'


"Cunt Neighbor"

You stomped up my stairs
With the hooves of a beast and the heart of a Nazi
My kindness was met with a fake smile and talk of compliance
Your teeth are crooked and hair unattractive
Age has been unforgiving
Paralyzed with anger, I fought the urge to kick
You down the stairs
Where are the combat boots?
Where are my steel toes?

The pool side meeting left me unafraid
The pointlessness of your life left me with pity
Have you nothing else to do?

Thick stationary seems to carry weight
Wielded by only cowards
Its never as bad as it seems
Money comes and money goes
Inconveniences and frustrations ebb and flow
And ultimately wane
But you will always be
A cunt neighbor



haikus can be fun
but sometimes they don't make sense


Living in an apartment, I can say that I enjoyed and totally understood this. Good job!


Haha, thanks Rhino. See Wormwood, somebody gets it. Some understands it. Somebody hears my screams.


I thought it was great. A good LOL.


I don't live in an apartment and this makes sense. Get yourself some learnin wormwood.


I had one of those when I lived in a duplex. It was all percoset and blowjobs for the first 6mos. Then she quit giving me percs and things went down hill from there. I even put it in her butt a couple of times, still no good.

Some people just aren't meant to get along with each other.


Hey! Leave Wormy the fuck alone! Just look at his new avatar. It just exudes awesomeness.
Oh, and the hat is BACK!




You did not comment on my hat. Is it because its black?


I can understand and appreciate this.

Was there any event in particular that stands out more than others or is she just a common every day pain in the ass? I love a good fucked up neighbor story.


I unwittingly violated the CC&Rs when I installed hardwood floors in my unit. Cunt neighbor reported me to the HOA on the first day I moved in. I've had discussions with the HOA and they are uncompromising and staunch, bound only by the rules of the CC&Rs - reason and independent evaluation be damned.

Yesterday, I received my 2nd letter (thick stationary), from their attorney threatening to sue me for non-compliance (plus the cost of their legal fees). They haven't actually sued me yet.

Anyway, the original cost of the floors plus installation was about $3,000. The cost of removal and installation of carpet, is $2,900.

All in all, I'll be out $6K because of cunt neighbor. I think she is moving anyway, so this is her final parting shot. We've had confrontations in the past, and yes, her teeth are crooked and hair unattractive.


You realize the HOA has a legal obligation to enforce the CC&Rs as written. If they give wiggle room, then everyone gets wiggle room, and the HOA is not complying with the rules it's supposed to and the individual board members are exposed to personal liability.


The Cunt Lawyer who Sends Letters Like the One You Got


Damn that fuckin sucks.


learnin? no thanks sounds contagious. i'll just keep watchin my movin picture box.


damn right!


I want to be a male you someday.


I completely understand that I don't have a legal leg to stand on in this matter. However, I can't seem to circumvent the emotion of "getting fucked." Perhaps shutting her (i.e., Cunt Neighbor) trap and practicing tolerance may have been a more neighborly way to approach the situation.

The legal wrangling (or should I say strangling) doesn't preclude me from excoriating my Cunt Neighbor with some hack, off-hand, poetry.

Very truly yours,



No. Because YOU are.