T Nation

Buying a Sniper Rifle...

… and “martyring” the Westboro Baptist assholes:

Now they have the ACLU filing lawsuits against Missouri so that they can legally resume their hatemongering at funerals.

And no, I’m not worried about the fact that these folks are going to be found dead by sniper fire and I’ve announced that I’m going to murder them, my motive for doing so, and the means with which it will have been done. This isn’t MySpace. None of you know who I am. I will get away with it.

You see, this way, whoever’s left that I miss on my kill list will be able to tell themselves that the reason the Pastor, et al, are dead is because God is pissed off at them.

GET ALONG WITH EACH OTHER. PLAY FAIR. OR I WILL SMITE THINE SORRY ASSES.

The voice of God will have never made more sense before. :slight_smile:

Sounds like a plan. Go for it.

No wait. Why spend money on a sniper rifle if you can just walk over to them and punch them in the face.

I’m sure this would be far more gratifying.

[quote]Wreckless wrote:
No wait. Why spend money on a sniper rifle if you can just walk over to them and punch them in the face.

I’m sure this would be far more gratifying.[/quote]

And you leave other people the opportunity to also punch their faces.

It is a renewable resource, in a way…

Would any jury convict you of assault if you just walked up and smacked them in the face until they shut up?

I’d sure as hell refuse to convict.

[quote]doogie wrote:
Would any jury convict you of assault if you just walked up and smacked them in the face until they shut up?

I’d sure as hell refuse to convict.[/quote]

Well doogie, you’d have to admit that the chances of you making it to a jury are pretty slim. :wink:

My impartial advice on snipers rifles, get an M82 12.7mm and get a long way away. I only ever saw anyone using one once in real life and it was Norwegian Army, although of course std, US kit and used by UK and other countries in variants. Great thing is, if the person you want to shoot is standing behind a wall, its not problem, just shoot through it, even if they turn up with body armour, no problem !

[quote]doogie wrote:
Would any jury convict you of assault if you just walked up and smacked them in the face until they shut up?

I’d sure as hell refuse to convict.[/quote]

Not only would I not convict, but I might be able to do some internet searching to get a cheaper price on the equipment needed to perform the task.

I pray that I don’t have to attend a funeral for one of my buds over there, but if I did I would PRAY that one of these self righteous fucks would show up so that I could stomp one in his honor.

I’ve made it quite clear in the past on how I feel about Bush and his administration. I am not a fan. However, regardless of my feelings, the soldiers that are fighting and dying deserve respect. Period! NO ONE has the right to disrupt their funerals for any reason! These dead soldiers did not have anything to do with the politics of this country, they did the job that they volunteered for and died because of it. These fucks and others like them should be stomped on until people get the message that disrupting funerals is wrong! Give the dead and their mourners some respect.

I’d fling fecal matter. It’s oh so satisfying and doesn’t give them the same self-satisfaction of “martyrdom”.

Just try and tell me that this little machine isn’t sexy as hell.

Here’s a link to an article about it:

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0BQY/is_12_48/ai_93317492

Thanks for the advice, fellas. Dr. Stig, I’m sorry, I just have a soft spot for 7.62, but I like the way you think.

And I know some of you are going with the “don’t kill 'em” route, and that’s cool, but this needs to be done. The way I have it planned, I’ll start off with Phelps himself. Then,if anybody else steps up to take his place, I will exterminate that person in cold blood as well. I figure that collecting reconnaisance and finding a good kill zone for one person at a time is doable, and makes for an easier alibi to establish.

The funny thing is that I had originally planned on burning down the actual church, but then I realized that they might possibly get cold hard cash from insurance, and I cannot help my enemy, so – this is Plan B.

Remember guys, this isn’t so much about stopping them as it is about gratifying my own selfish desires. Murder, arson, whatever. Whatever gets the job done. :slight_smile:

What you really need is a Cobra Assault Canon, state of the art, bang bang.


Hey is that Doug boning your wife and drinking your Surge down there ?


this ought to do the job, H&K anybody? .308 for me please.

[quote]mazilla wrote:
this ought to do the job, H&K anybody? .308 for me please.[/quote]

PSG-1. Nice. Nothing like a Munich revenge rifle for righting wrongs, eh? However, it is my understanding that policing up your brass after firing can be a pain, as this baby ejects the casing quite a ways. Can anybody confirm this? I’ve never fired one of these. Yet. :slight_smile:

[quote]lothario1132 wrote:
Just try and tell me that this little machine isn’t sexy as hell.

Here’s a link to an article about it:

http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0BQY/is_12_48/ai_93317492

Thanks for the advice, fellas. Dr. Stig, I’m sorry, I just have a soft spot for 7.62, but I like the way you think.

And I know some of you are going with the “don’t kill 'em” route, and that’s cool, but this needs to be done. The way I have it planned, I’ll start off with Phelps himself. Then,if anybody else steps up to take his place, I will exterminate that person in cold blood as well. I figure that collecting reconnaisance and finding a good kill zone for one person at a time is doable, and makes for an easier alibi to establish.

The funny thing is that I had originally planned on burning down the actual church, but then I realized that they might possibly get cold hard cash from insurance, and I cannot help my enemy, so – this is Plan B.

Remember guys, this isn’t so much about stopping them as it is about gratifying my own selfish desires. Murder, arson, whatever. Whatever gets the job done. :)[/quote]

I’m still convinced that the “hands on” approach of bitch-slapping one of these suckers in the face, repeatedly if you’re lucky, is a far more gratifying experience.
For both parties involved.

And they would be able to recognise you in future encounters. Look at their eyes when they’ve figured out they’re gonna be bitch-slapped again.

Have an assistant at the scene with a camera.

[quote]Wreckless wrote:
I’m still convinced that the “hands on” approach of bitch-slapping one of these suckers in the face, repeatedly if you’re lucky, is a far more gratifying experience.
For both parties involved.

And they would be able to recognise you in future encounters. Look at their eyes when they’ve figured out they’re gonna be bitch-slapped again.

Have an assistant at the scene with a camera.
[/quote]

Those would be some great pictures, wouldn’t they? Talk about getting your fifteen minutes of fame… post 'em on the internet, and stand back.

[quote]doogie wrote:
Would any jury convict you of assault if you just walked up and smacked them in the face until they shut up?

I’d sure as hell refuse to convict.[/quote]

Just thump them in rural Texas. You should be fine.

Here’s what happens when I meet Fred Phelps at one of those funeral protests.