T Nation

But Why?

WHY?

why make that stupid noise every time you sneeze, last time i check an actuall sneeze doesn’t sound like “aaaah-CHOOOOO!” you put that noise there and it anoys me. stop it!

when girls are about to cry and they start that ‘wafting their face with their hands’ thing. Whats that all about? are they trying to dry the tears as they come out? i don’t know, and probably never will.

when you clearly catch someone picking their nose and when they see you they try turn it into some kind of ‘covert nose rub’ thing, similarly when you walk into a room and catch someone talking to themselves and they try to turn it into some kind of humming.

and finally, on a more personal note, why do i always remember what i got up for the second i sit back down… does my brain function less well when stood up? probably.

Why did they cancel Star Trek: Next Generation? It was very successful. Just because Patrick Stewart is getting old is no excuse.

Why do girls around my town, who are my age, still quote anchorman? I dont get it.

why is Tom Cruise still in movies?

[quote]Drizzt wrote:
why is Tom Cruise still in movies? [/quote]

its clearly one of the many possitive side effects of scien-troll-ogy

Why are women crazy? Why is it that when I want to get laid there are none around but when I am not available they all come out of the wood work. Or why is it that cause I am a single dad I am not good enough to date but I am good enough to fuck.

These are the question that haunt me every day.

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to?

Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

  • George Carlin

Why do you Park in a Driveway, but Drive on a Parkway?

Why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 and hot dog buns come in packs of 8?

If you through a cat out of a car window, does it become kitty litter?

What color does a smurf turn when you choke him?

Why to kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why is there no other word for thesaurus?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
[/quote]

2

Why do guys lie about masturbation? It’s yours. No one is
judging you.

Why do women spend so much time and money on shoes when no guy gives a shit? Do you want to know how many times your Prada sandals come up in discussion at the average frat house? NONE. Not one damn time have we ever been sitting and watching a football game only to have Chuck start talking about how great your choice in heels is.

How many affliction tee shirts do I need to see before they get played out? If everyone is wearing them, why do you still want one?

Why do women think we care about what they are talking about? In fact, if you find a guy who is truly interested in ALL of the lame shit you come up with all day long, chances are he’s either gay or way too whipped for that relationship to work anyway.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
DoubleDuce wrote:

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

2

Why do guys lie about masturbation? It’s yours. No one is
judging you.

Why do women spend so much time and money on shoes when no guy gives a shit? Do you want to know how many times your Prada sandals come up in discussion at the average frat house? NONE. Not one damn time have we ever been sitting and watching a football game only to have Chuck start talking about how great your choice in heels is.

How many affliction tee shirts do I need to see before they get played out? If everyone is wearing them, why do you still want one?

Why do women think we care about what they are talking about? In fact, if you find a guy who is truly interested in ALL of the lame shit you come up with all day long, chances are he’s either gay or way too whipped for that relationship to work anyway.
[/quote]

I guess that kinda goes along with, why do women think the silent treatment is a punishment?

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Why do women spend so much time and money on shoes when no guy gives a shit?

[/quote]

That’s not why women buy shoes. We buy shoes because we love shoes. A woman can never have too many shoes. Just ask Imelda Marcos. It has nothing to do with men at all, we could care less what you think.

When you go to the hardware store to buy tools, are you thinking, “DAMN!! My woman gonna love this wrench”!!"

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Professor X wrote:

Why do women spend so much time and money on shoes when no guy gives a shit?

That’s not why women buy shoes. We buy shoes because we love shoes. A woman can never have too many shoes. Just ask Imelda Marcos. It has nothing to do with men at all, we could care less what you think.

When you go to the hardware store to buy tools, are you thinking, “DAMN!! My woman gonna love this wrench”!!"
[/quote]

First off, as a guy, your woman should love your tool.

Second, I find that women to like it when I fix things using said tools.

Thirdly, the point is that aside from comfort (a reason I’ve almost never seen a woman relate to shoes) they exist sole-e for appearance.

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Professor X wrote:

Why do women spend so much time and money on shoes when no guy gives a shit?

That’s not why women buy shoes. We buy shoes because we love shoes. A woman can never have too many shoes. Just ask Imelda Marcos. It has nothing to do with men at all, we could care less what you think.

When you go to the hardware store to buy tools, are you thinking, “DAMN!! My woman gonna love this wrench”!!"
[/quote]

I just knew you’d pull through for us on this one.

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Professor X wrote:

Why do women spend so much time and money on shoes when no guy gives a shit?

That’s not why women buy shoes. We buy shoes because we love shoes. A woman can never have too many shoes. Just ask Imelda Marcos. It has nothing to do with men at all, we could care less what you think.

When you go to the hardware store to buy tools, are you thinking, “DAMN!! My woman gonna love this wrench”!!"
[/quote]

To get shit done. I wouldn’t own a wrench if I didn’t need to.

Why do you always want to know what I am thinking?

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Professor X wrote:

Why do women spend so much time and money on shoes when no guy gives a shit?

That’s not why women buy shoes. We buy shoes because we love shoes. A woman can never have too many shoes. Just ask Imelda Marcos. It has nothing to do with men at all, we could care less what you think.

When you go to the hardware store to buy tools, are you thinking, “DAMN!! My woman gonna love this wrench”!!"
[/quote]

No but she sure is gona love this hammer.

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:

First off, as a guy, your woman should love your tool.

Second, I find that women to like it when I fix things using said tools.

[/quote]

If your tool can’t fix what we need, it’s useless.

Plus, when you’re not around, we do it ourselves, anyway.

[quote]MsM wrote:

I just knew you’d pull through for us on this one.

[/quote]

Men think it’s all about them,(and their tools) all the time.

If they only knew!!!

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
MsM wrote:

I just knew you’d pull through for us on this one.

Men think it’s all about them,(and their tools) all the time.

If they only knew!!!

[/quote]

Well yesterday I bought a heat gun and used it to rewire my girl’s car horn. She was happy about it, and I got a new tool.

I for one carry a Leatherman everywhere. Never leave home without it.

Girls seem to always make fun of tools until something of theirs breaks.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
Why do you always want to know what I am thinking?[/quote]

Because it’s been quiet for 5 minutes so something HAS to be wrong.

[quote]Ground-N-Pound wrote:
Why do you Park in a Driveway, but Drive on a Parkway?[/quote]

Who is your avatar?