Busted my cheating girlfriend, was i a bastard?

So he’s supposed to stick around and either get A) dumped by his girl because she wants to be with her ex, or B) get cheated on while still with his girl. That doesn’t sound like a winning combination either way. He lied? Who cares? Why should he stick around and feel like shit later? He did the right thing. She may not have actually cheated, but obviously, she wasn’t happy in the relationship and had other ideas. No sense in sticking around to see what the outcome would have been. He should give himself two pats on the back.

While your solution was a little mean and dishonest, I’d say things came to their imminent ending. You were probably acting out of some gut feeling and wanted some closure right? Like you knew something was going on but couldn’t put your finger on it and wanted to know for sure? Don’t listen to your exes friends, they will stick up for her no matter what, that’s just the way it works - herd mentality for mutual protection. And I doubt the story that she told them came out the same as the story you are telling us. It was probably embellished or had some significant details left out so that it totally favors her. She’s probably the most mad because you preempted her and dumped her before she dumped you. Petty but probably true. There were other better ways of putting this thing on the table, but it sure beats other scenarios which could have been much uglier.

Does it piss you off that she’s having rebound sex with him right now? Just kidding, sort of.

Whether or not it would have ended isn’t the point. All things end.



Sure, it’s easier to walk away from something without feeling like you’re the one who lost out.



Nonetheless, you didn’t even give your XGF the chance to act with honour - even accepting that what you did was incredibly insecure.




After finding out this information you should have either confronted her openly and honestly and discussed whether the relationship was worth continuing.

If you can say that you’ve never thought about a past GF while being with her, or watched and fantasised about porn or even looked at another pretty girl then you’re a saint, otherwise you’ve cheated on the same level that she has [not that she did].


Seriously, if I was a woman, i’d run a mile if I knew you pulled crap like that - what next, checking mail??

You’re messed up for setting her up, but the fact that she even entertained the thought of getting back together with her old bf is evidence enough that she is untrustworthy. Good job!

PS: Get help! hahaha

HAHAHAHahahaha, Excellent work my friend…excellent work. She is a cheating bitch and I have seen what deceptive lying girls can do to a man, even a t-man. Props on a job well done, michelle is wrong in taking the girls side here.

How exactly was Michelle taking the girl’s side? She was right on the money with the whole situation.

“So he’s supposed to stick around and either get A) dumped by his girl because she wants to be with her ex, or B) get cheated on while still with his girl.”

No, none of the above. Perhaps he should have discussed things with her and told her WHY he was dumping her. It's pretty underhanded and mean to lure someone into a conversation that they feel is private and then busting them on it. But it's very hard to say 'I lied to you on line today and pretended that I was your ex to see if you would talk to him', it's much easier to get all self ritious and pretend she already cheated and dump her just in case.

"Why should he stick around and feel like shit later?"

I didn't say he should have. What I DID say was that he was pretty sneaky and untrustworthy himself. As I said before, he has NO IDEA if she was planning to cheat.

For all he knows she may have talked with the ex for a whil and then re-remembered all the reasons her current man was better than her ex and ended up saying 'it was better that we broke up.'

You see, because of the backwards, dishonest way he went about this he has NO IDEA what she was going to so.

Remember, after time everyrelationship seems better. People generally have a hard time remembering the bad things and magnify the good things, even unintentionally. The last time you were in a rough spot in a relationship did you look back fondly and think 'wow, things would be better if I was with them' it doesn't mean you are planning to cheat or even planning to dump. Sometimes it just take a little while to realize that the relationship that is over is in the past and the current one is the better one.

And again... she did NOT cheat on him. For God's sake she just talked to someone she thought was her ex. Sure, she said a few inappropriate things, but since she did NOTHING but talk.

I understand she didnt follow through with her with her intentions, but wording thoughts can also viewed as criminal. Imagine. although its not exactly the same, someone uttering death threats or using inappropriate words such as ‘terrorist’ or ‘bomb’ in an airport. Both situations are punishable by law even though nothing may have come about.

While I don’t think this was the best thing to do, since you DID lure her into this whole thing, I think this one response of hers – “yea, I think
about you all the time, I want to give it another try” (lifted directly from the original post) – states her intent pretty clearly. I hereby revise my earlier response on this thread. SHould have talked with her, but the end result would have been the same.

Sneaky, yes. Good work. Entrapment, only if you’re the one who brought up getting back together. If she suggested it that’s her own dumb fault. So technically she didnt cheat, but good to find out it’s in her head sooner rather than later

Also the line “OK he’s finally gone” was very disrespectful. One thing I noticed is that even though he deceived her, it was not very difficult to do so, she was very gung-ho and wanted this guy back bad. Now, is she upset because she lost her current guy, or because she had her hopes up on getting her old one back.

Anyone else hear former DC Mayor Marion Barry saying “Damm, The Bitch done set me Up!!!”

Hey the Fragile, I am curious, what exactly prompted you do to this, anyway?

I say you got out at a good time. If you get into a conversation with her friends, and I suggest you don’t, ask them to defend their arguement. How long were you dating? I say bury it and move on. Laugh? Hell yes! entitled to a little laugh at her expense? hell yes.

And by the way. Why didn’t you have more fun with her. Like go online and tell her, as him, that you were going to come over to talk it over, then call her back as you and say that you forgot something, or go back and hang around and watch her squirm. I would have taken every opportunity to.

It does seem that this relationship wasn’t headed anywhere special. So you probably got out at a good time.


Still, honestly, there are few things in this world that I hate worse than having a significant other give me little “tests” like that. I’ve gotten to the point now where I will, no hesitation, no second chances, END a relationship where that happens. Life’s too short to go around with people who are either that needy or just don’t trust you to begin with. So if a GF had done that to me, I would have exed her just as soon as I found out about it (assuming that I did find out).


It worked out for the best this time, but think about what might have happened if she hadn’t been intending to cheat (or whatever) and she had somehow found out about your posing as some other guy. Could have screwed up a very good thing…

Shoulda had a little bit more fun with it…

She didn’t cheat one you. You set her up. A lot of people have feelings for their exs, and it doesn’t mean that they act on them. You’re totally insecure and your handle “The Fragile” is accurate. Oh, and all the guys here who are calling her “a cheating bitch” are missing the point…she didn’t cheat. Macho fucking internet posers.

One thing I have learned through my experiences of dating, GIRLS ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE VICTIM. This is how most of them justify a breakup.