Buns

Hey, maybe there’s indeed some evolutionary reason why women love buns and some men like Big Butts…

From: http://www.arthurdevany.com/archives/evolutionary_fitness/index.html#000104#more

Buns

Young women love them in a man. Evolutionary psychology tells us they should. Strong and solid buttocks are a sign of health and power in a male. But, buns seem to be shrinking these days. I am struck by the lack of glutteal musculature in males these days. The pants just hang on a lot of the softball players I see.

A male can’t be powerful unless he has developed buttocks. They are the foundation of mobility for almost all athletic moves and they are the prime movers in any rapid or powerful move. Heavy lifting, sprinting, hitting or throwing all move off the drive from the legs and gluts.

Why are buns shrinking?

  1. Too much sitting. Sitting cuts off the blood supply to the gluts and they atrophy. They just waste away from a lack of blood flow. Go into a truck stop and you will see men that may have started driving as young, tough truck jockeys whose pants just hang straight down from their belt after 20 years in the cab. Office workers are just as vulnerable.

  2. Too little full body exercise. Dead lifts, squats, splits, power cleans, and overhead moves engage the gluts. Sitting in a leg extension machine does not. Hack squats on those slanted racks were designed to avoid developing the glutes by body builders seeking a Steve Reeves look.

  3. Not enough sprinting. Glutes are essential to a powerful and full leg drive. Jogging doesn’t do it. Running at varying speed does to some degree. Long term joggers tend to have a tucked under pelvis, tilted forward from the base, probably to protect their lower back. This reduces engagement of the glutes.

  4. Too much alcohol. Alcoholics have no glutes. Check it out. They do all of the above: sitting, not exercising, no sprinting. But, they have another problem. They are so malnourished, particularly in protein, that they consume their own muscle mass to maintain their overworked organs. Their organs are busy trying to detoxify their bodies and are overloaded.

One of the strangest sights I have ever seen was inside one of those bars that open at 6:30 in the morning. I was delivering beer kegs in one of my summer jobs and went into one of those bars to make a delivery. At 8:00 in the morning there were drinkers sitting at the bar. What strange creatures they seemed to my inexperienced eyes. They didn’t speak, they croaked from free radical damage of smoke and alcohol to their vocal cords. They had flourid faces (blood vessel damage, again from ROS). They had bloated bellies from protein deprivation and liver damage. And, they had no glutes.

With the stench, dark, smokey air, and bar lighting, I felt like I was in another world populated with strange creatures. I have never forgotten it.

I know two famous economists who drank themselves to death

and a few who tried (high level economics is hard to do and economists are contentious, hard-headed people; economics seminars often are a blood sport). Out of respect, I won’t mention their names.

In their decline, they manifested all the signs of these pitiful and strange people in the 6AM bar. Their flourid faces gave them a look of health, they almost looked tan. Their bellies made them look robust. But, their glutes always gave them away; they were dying alcoholics.

So, women are right. Buns are good. They are a very reliable sign of health and power in a male; good genes and provision to a female in the evolutionary environment where buns would have been a powerful clue.

Over nearly 40 years of university teaching I have been reviewed many times by students. I’ve had good ones and bad ones and always seemed to inspire a love/hate relationship with my students. One of my favorite student reviews came just a couple of years ago. I was walking out of an elevator and a young female student said “Buns” just as the elevator doors closed. Now, that was a good student review.

From an anthropological aspect, it is also true that we, as humans, still admire a nice ass.

Reason being is that primates’ genitalia are easily seen from the rear, and when a female is in heat, the genitalia becomes “swollen” and engourged with blood (and scent) that attracts males. Since primates walk on all four legs most of the time, the ass is easily exposed to others (males) so he knows when she is ready for the taking.

It appears that over time, this still has some merit. Even though humans walk upright (bipedal locomotion), the ass is still visible (in most cases), and will attract the opposite sex. Thus, the reason that men and women appreciate a nice ass. As you mentioned, it shows that the person is healthy and has the traits needed for successful insemination.

Good thing I have a great ass!

This was both very interesting and oddly humorous in parts. Your description of the state of alocoholics was right on the mark. I’ve seen these creatures you speak of.

“But, their glutes always gave them away” Hilarious!

My wife actually calls mine a “Bubble butt” and that I have a “Black” butt…in that it is developed and sits tall in it’s thickest spots…she likes my older, flatter ass for some reason…

This is the ONLY thing she does not like about my wieght gains though.

Soooo your wife is as ass racist?

[quote]apayne wrote:
Soooo your wife is as ass racist?[/quote]

LOL!! I guess, technically.

[quote]Rockscar wrote:
apayne wrote:
Soooo your wife is as ass racist?

LOL!! I guess, technically.[/quote]

she’s a rassist.

You’re spending all to much time thinking about the male buttocks, eh ?

Back in the day when our old O-lifting club was in full gear and swing, one of my buddies was in line at the drinking fountain and was asked by a young builder if we did a lot of squats. “Well, yeah. Couple times a week. Why do you ask?” He replied, “'Cause all you guys have huge butts.” Full squats rule.

I’m not flexible enough to get ass-to-grass with a close stance. This doesn’t bode well for my trying to buy jeans with a fitting waist.

[quote]Nate Dogg wrote:
It appears that over time, this still has some merit. Even though humans walk upright (bipedal locomotion), the ass is still visible (in most cases), and will attract the opposite sex. Thus, the reason that men and women appreciate a nice ass. As you mentioned, it shows that the person is healthy and has the traits needed for successful insemination.
[/quote]

For me, it is much simpler. I just like round things.

And pretty feet. If you have a nice ROUND ass and nice ROUND breasts and pretty feet…it’s all good. As long as your voice isn’t squeaky and you aren’t like an ex-girlfriend of mine who was a vegan who made it her duty in life to make me feel bad about the cows I was murdering weekly by nagging me to death about how they have faces and families…

Anywhoo, round things.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
As long as your voice isn’t squeaky and you aren’t like an ex-girlfriend of mine who was a vegan who made it her duty in life to make me feel bad about the cows I was murdering weekly by nagging me to death about how they have faces and families…

Anywhoo, round things.[/quote]

Reminds me of being lambasted for ordering veal. Those poor baby cows. I wouldn’t have ordered it, but they were out of the freshly clubbed baby seal.

-folly

Several points:

(1) this is the REAL @ss thread

(2) interesting article. my grandpa and uncle had NO @ss. surprise, they were both alcoholics. but even the non-drinkers in my family are not particularly robust in the buttocks department. i’m doing aight though ;]

(3) re: the @ss racist. sounds like a good idea for a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode. i can see Larry and Wanda friction already.

(4) anyone notice how we are being blessed with a humorous and light-hearted, kinder and gentler ProfX these days? what’s up with that?

(5) re: the veal. “oooh. that one looks delicious.” eric cartman, as he points at one of the calves the boys are going to rescue from a veal farmer.

Have a good weekend all,
BFG

Gotta agree with the Prof, here. Round is where it’s at. I think both genders prefer the aesthetic of it on some level. Women like the curve of the biceps, pecs, glutes, and abs. Men like the tatters and the tots. I even like it in cars and other inanimate structures. Something about a contoured surface invites touch, while a flat surface says “stop” or barrier somehow. To me at least. Of course men should be more squared than women, but guys need the proper curves too. Proportion too. Too big is just too big no matter what (for most anyway). No matter how round a thing is, it looks out of place if it’s surroundings don’t harmonize. Perhaps that’s why I hate my calves so much…

Best,
DH

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Nate Dogg wrote:
It appears that over time, this still has some merit. Even though humans walk upright (bipedal locomotion), the ass is still visible (in most cases), and will attract the opposite sex. Thus, the reason that men and women appreciate a nice ass. As you mentioned, it shows that the person is healthy and has the traits needed for successful insemination.

For me, it is much simpler. I just like round things.

And pretty feet. If you have a nice ROUND ass and nice ROUND breasts and pretty feet…it’s all good. As long as your voice isn’t squeaky and you aren’t like an ex-girlfriend of mine who was a vegan who made it her duty in life to make me feel bad about the cows I was murdering weekly by nagging me to death about how they have faces and families…

Anywhoo, round things.[/quote]

(4) anyone notice how we are being blessed with a humorous and light-hearted, kinder and gentler ProfX these days? what’s up with that?

[quote]BFG wrote:
Several points:

PX’s planets are in alignment. In addition to that 75% off T-shirt sale coming to Old Navy this fall. Anticipation has him all giddy. :wink:

DH

(1) this is the REAL @ss thread

(2) interesting article. my grandpa and uncle had NO @ss. surprise, they were both alcoholics. but even the non-drinkers in my family are not particularly robust in the buttocks department. i’m doing aight though ;]

(3) re: the @ss racist. sounds like a good idea for a “Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode. i can see Larry and Wanda friction already.

(4) anyone notice how we are being blessed with a humorous and light-hearted, kinder and gentler ProfX these days? what’s up with that?

(5) re: the veal. “oooh. that one looks delicious.” eric cartman, as he points at one of the calves the boys are going to rescue from a veal farmer.

Have a good weekend all,
BFG[/quote]

[quote]BFG wrote:
(4) anyone notice how we are being blessed with a humorous and light-hearted, kinder and gentler ProfX these days? what’s up with that?[/quote]

You can kindly kiss my proportionate black ass.

I only go off on dumbasses. We got most of them to stop posting metrosexual pics in the picture forum and the other trolls are even getting their asses handed to them by the MODs. In the words of one of the better horror movies of all time, Poltergeist, “This house is clean.”

I see gone-ass on dude everywhere! It’s quite sad. I’ve got a killer ass & the ladies aren’t shy to let me know either. DL, squats, SLDL, lunges, builgiarian or however you spell it lunges!

Plain & simple, real men have asses!

[quote]Professor X wrote:
You can kindly kiss my proportionate black ass.

I only go off on dumbasses. We got most of them to stop posting metrosexual pics in the picture forum and the other trolls are even getting their asses handed to them by the MODs. In the words of one of the better horror movies of all time, Poltergeist, “This house is clean.”[/quote]

Yeah. I am aware of that, but I actually prefer the abrasive inflammatory sarcasm. Apparently though, a lot of people don’t get it. This other stuff I can do without. ;]

As far as Poltergeist - that scene with the maggots coming out of the steak - that … was … awesome. [Although it did f*ck me up for a while, as I was a little kid at the time.]

BFG

[quote]BFG wrote:
As far as Poltergeist - that scene with the maggots coming out of the steak - that … was … awesome.

BFG[/quote]

Damn…you’re making me hungry!

Gotta eat.

As already stated I like a nice firm butt. I will chase it down the hall pinching it until it stops and then grab hold of it. I also like to paddle it. I am just blown out of the water with the quality threads we have going here at T-Nation :open_mouth: