*A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
*When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."
*A city employee in Lodi, Calif., filed a claim for damages against the city after he hit his own car with a dump truck he was driving. After the city denied the claim on the grounds that the driver was effectively suing himself, his wife filed a claim, but the city threw that one out, too, saying that under California law, people can't sue their spouses for damage to property they share.
*TAMPA, Fla. -- Phillip Williams doubted whether he was being sold actual crack cocaine, police say. So he approached two uniformed officers and allegedly asked them to test his crack pipe so he could be sure. It turned out Williams, 47, was getting the real thing, authorities said, and he was arrested shortly after approaching police Tuesday morning.