what I do won’t work for you. I eat junk food all day. I’m drinking a soda right now and shoveling peanuts into my mouth at my desk. I had pop tarts for breakfast. I’ll eat ice cream before bed tonight. I’m a genetic anomaly.
The best diet articles from this site that I’ve read are from John Berardi. Some are a few years old. I also like what John Meadows has to say about nutrition. OH! and stan efferding! He’s brilliant. Read what you can find from those guys. I’ve learned a lot from Efferding in the last couple years.
I can tell you what got me to my physique gym-wise. I trained as a powerlifter for several years. Probably about 5. Then the last 2-3 I’ve been doing strongman-style training. More overhead pressing than powerlifting. More conditioning, more movement, a greater variety of training implements. Higher rep ranges more often. Heavy carries.
I’ll go line by line on some of the things you value and want to avoid.
Wide shoulders: overhead pressing and lateral raises. Also a lot of back work, with rows and pull ups. I mostly do pull ups, but rows are awesome too. Neither is much better than the other.
Big arms: just do a lot of direct arm work. no substitute for that. I usually put that last in my training, but I always do it. Stay in relatively high rep ranges, don’t dip into the 5 or less rep range.
Thick quads: front squats.
if you don’t want a thick chest, don’t bench. I prefer dips anyway, in relatively high rep ranges.
thick lower back comes from training heavy, and deadlifting. So avoid those things if you don’t want that. same with big ass.
hip structure is genetic.