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Brute's Book


Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Casa Bonita is REAL?!?


Thanks Chicken!!! It was great!

FlatsFarmer! IT SURE IS!!! :D!!! Cave divers, crazy tropical waterfalls, gun fights, mexican food, guys in Gorilla suits with swim trunks on and all. :D!

A bit mish mash today due to all the stuff being in use when I got to the gym. I’ve been sleeping in late for me on my llil min 4 day weekend - 7am or so and am ambling in later to the gym.

db benching 40’s 4 x10
3 way shoulders 5’s 3 sets x 15 reps
z press 45x5, 50x5, 55x5, 65 x5 x 3 sets
pull ups mixed in with the cool climber/rock grip 10, 8, 6
push ups a set of 21
fs 45x3, 135x3, 175, 210, 225, 170x4 x 3 sets, 185x3 x 3 sets, 200x2
trap bar rows 95# x 10 x 4 sets, 115x5, 135x5
glute stuff with bw 4 sets of 25/exercise
I think that’s it.

Those carries yesterday even though they were minimal have awoken the sleeping enthusiasm I’ve missed for a while! Now I am amped up and excited to do them again. Must be the new handles (=new toy) being at the turbo gym. HIP HIP HURRAYY!!!

I can’t wait for the field to be finished near by, for lower wt LONG distance carries…sigh! I really like just doing those. Supposed to be done by summer.


Today 5 mile walk


dead lifts 45x4, 135x4, 205x4, 265x4 x 4 sets
ssb walking lunges bar plus 50# x 250 feet, plus 70 x 100 feet, plus 90 x 50 feet
sand bag carries 150# x 200 feet x 2 trips, 200# x 100 feet x 2 trips
car deadlift made with a bit of a deficit with mats empty 4 x10
lat pull downs 2 x 8

This time ten years ago I was yearling/baby tech working overnight shifts and packing my bags for a new life in the UK. It didn’t work out for a few reasons, however it was an adventure. My gym was a Kinentika one that was basically a hotel gym :{ shutters

I left behind a lil British family I still keep in touch with here and there, and the two wt’d vests I took with me from home that I wore on the plane! Took with me a new appreciation for CHEDDAR and English chocolate as well as how frustrating it can be to be an immigrant someplace when you want to work, settle, and become a part of the community but you can’t because they won’t let you! So I came home, heartbroken but welcome to my family and budding new friendships here.

Hmm…kinda familiar to a situation I had recently. OH WELL.


stone loads 108x10, 140x5, 167x5, 205 x 4 <-- took a bit but I got em!
fs 45x5, 135x5, 175, 200, 220, 235, 180x5 x 5 sets, 200x2 x 5 sets
a set of 10 pull ups


Wow! That’s some serious work this morning!


Thanks Chicken!!! :D!! Everyday’s a party when I can load (even lap!) that 205!

T bar carries 237# x 5 mins , total of 1,000 feet , first 600’ no drop, then a drop even 100 feet
Sand bag carries 150# x 200 feet drop, then again x total of 8 big trips, about 3 1/2 mins, then 150# x 100 feet per trip x two trips. Total of 1000 feet all togerher
Farmers handles 45#/hand x 50’, 125#/hand x 50’, 165#/hand x 50’, 185#/hand x 50’, 195#/hand x 50’
Handle deadlift only 185#/hand x 4, x 3
Some seated hamstring machine for why not 3 x10

I feel good! The sand bag carries were making my quads light up! And they acted as cardio for sure.

I’m a bit body dysmorphic and can’t tell if the wt I’ve put on is good or bad. I see things on my back that I truly can’t tell is muscle or fat blob, and as well have confusing changes that could be oblique or could be new blob. My tattoos distort stuff but for sure I’m well in the 170’s now. About 5- 8 pound wt gain since December.

Do I care?? I dunno. I do know I can’t trust my own eyes or brain to determine anything. And I’m the only one who has a place to care! I feel good, when I start feeling blobby I will bust out the road marches.

And I am WELL PLEASED that I can still get 195#/hand on the handles when it’s been months and months since I trained them seriously.


Today <-- felt like going old school with deadzos- mixed grip for reps
dead lifts 45x5, 135x3, 225x2, 275, 225x20, 225x23
fs 45x3, 135x3, 175x4 x 5 sets
t bar press 4x8
ss with pull ups 8, 4, 4, 4
t bar rows empty x 5, 95x5, 155x5 x 3 sets
t bar dead lifts 135x5, 225x20, 275, 315 x 2 singles
z press empty then 55# 4 x 8
hlr x 10
a few l sit chin ups x 3 reps
back extensions

I had fun! Here’s a video like the old days.

I’m hanging out with the old folks for Bingo today. Things can get heated on bingo days! Also some much needed tattoozy time Saturday on the never ending tattoo. I have to get as much in as I can I guess before my artist leaves town which may be any day now. Finding a new artist is such a pain in the ass.

I do not go out of my way to engage with others to start with. Not because I am rude or mean or even really super shy, its simply exhausting. There is no feedback of a rush meeting new people for me, its a drain of my life force. SO having to meet a new artist- which I am dreading like the black death- and then having to submit for voluntary pain is totally not something I want to do again. Yet I’ll be forced to do so. >:{

Since this is my log I’m going to share my deep thoughts. After talking to my sister when she was in town about a ton of stuff I shared with her that I predict a few years of solitude for me. It takes THAT long to find someone, get enough feedback, then finally take the leap to date. My last relationship was a massive deal and surprised everyone I know closely because I do not date. I thought about it a lot before I went into it, during it , and ending it. It did not work out, and that too is a massive deal.

I told my sister I have known I’d want to get married again, no “let’s move in together and shack up”, no “hang out for years and years bidding time”. Fuck that, this is serious for me.

My shitty marriage was bad due to a bad husband–I made the wrong choice there but I was a good wife! I actually liked being married. It did not ruin me as you might think-- it let me know that when its good its just that much better. I know this as a fact.

I do know what a good relationship looks like and how fucking BADASS those relationships are! I’m lucky to have my parents as an example and a few other family members with solid teams. Who work together, who have each other’s backs all the time and have upmost respect for each other.

My marriage as psychotic and messed up as it was had good parts, IMAGINE what a good choice would have let too. I’m a natural #2 person, not a leader but a great co-captain of the team. I like cooperation-- that’s were I think I shine the most. It feels most meaningful.

Dating is figuring out if this guy will be my husband or not. I don’t see the point otherwise, dating is not fun its serious for me. So maybe disappointment to come- years from now because I know it it will be that long to venture out- or maybe a fit. Who knows. Dogs too! Maybe a shade less but still a lot since they are totally dependent on you. In the mean time, its just like Me and Me Again. And that’s just how it is!

DEEP THOUGHTS but they are the ones on my mind the last weeks and months.


Yeah, I think you’re spot on with your thinking about relationships. I feel the same. Except the part about predicting that it might be a year or two of solitude for you. I don’t think you can predict that part.

As for your DLs - WHOOT!!! You’re amazing. So fun to watch.


Thanks Puff!! Those deadzos were FUN! I think I’ll bring them back again!

As for the solitude I sure hope you’re right, I liked having a special person. I thought I was getting closer with this last relationship, I really did.

Next time I’ll flat out tell the man right away. I made the mistake of not doing this in my last relationship-- I’m not messin around! Break my heart --> we’re donezo. Mine was broken --> so DONEZO.

I just got back form the nursing home…and this particular volunteer position is not going to work out. I gave a shot but its not :frowning: A little too loosely structured for me when I am into structure:{

Also I had forgotten that I had worked at the nursing home and therefore got to know these residents over a period of time–just like I described in my last post!! It takes me a while :{ I feel lost just going in and hanging out when I don’t know them :frowning:j

I was lost just wandering around the place. I’ll keep trying though. There’s a TON of spots around that I might succeed in being useful to someone. Gimme a mop, gimme some boxes or shit to sort and I’ll do it all day long. FINE!


I wish you all the best, you certainly deserve to be happy. Don’t waste any time with a man unless he understands this very important concept:))



Thanks Idaho!

Today- 3.8 mile walk


dead lifts hook grip 45x5, 135x3, 205x3, 225x5 x 6 sets
trap bar dead lifts 77x5, 187x5, 297x5 x 5 sets
ssb walking lunges bar plus 50# x 100 feet, plus 60# x 50’, 70# x 50 feet, 80# x 50 feet, 90# x 50 feet
sand bag carries 150# x 200 feet x 2 trips, x 100 feet
heavy pull downs 5 x5 ss wth prowler push (200#) x whatever distance x 4 trips

My new bed is FANTASTIC! :D!!!Rolled out my new memory foam mattress last night with brand new foundation. It even SMELLS good!! Oddly, it smells like a room a day or so after it’s been freshly painted. Not noctious at all but fresh and new!!! It’s sorta a nostalgic smell of when I was little and we’d get to paint our rooms sometimes.

Tattoo session went great Saturday too. I’d say it’s finally done – a big piece that’s been a massive thorn in my side ( incomplete, crazy, fixer upper) for 12 years. I am so surprised at how good I feel about it! It actually looks done!! And like it actually makes sense!! WOOOOOHOOO!! :D!!!

No lifting Monday because it was the last night on the bad bed and I slept like shit. Monday also was a fun day of being the point person for a cocky baby tech. Man. We are ALL such different people.

I can’t even imagine ever acting how this young know-it-all , entitled, wippersnapper seems to enjoy on my first days as a tech. Or any job!

Day one of three with me as her point person and her first time ever on the floor training to be a tech/nurse so she gets some leeway-- maybe she’s nervous and she’s acting in that impress me…mmmm. Nah. Day two I crack the whip.


Just getting caught up here. Nice deads! Totally jealous!
As far as the dating/relationship deal, you are miles ahead of the rest. Knowing yourself, and understanding what YOU want in a relationship is extremely important! Never settle for less. Even if it means being alone.

Yay! For the new mattress!

If the arrogant newbie gives you any shit just pick her up and toss her out the window! This is why I work alone. I do not well in a “team” environment. Just don’t have the patience for it.


Thanks Chicken!! its a New ERA of Brutie-Toot! I won’t lie, I am fucking depressed over that relationship ending and have had the super sleeps, the sad face/depressed mug, typically broken heart mopey em shit going for a while.

HOWEVER! Its a NEW ERA! And I have a brand new bed!! I kicked that intern to someone else— the dummy who hired her. No surprise she tried to pawn her off on someone else too after a couple hours. I ain’t got time for any of that shit, and I have a ton of extra time lately !! HA HA!!! But not for any of THAT.

pull ups 12, 5 <-- a new warm up thing I’m trying to prime upper and lower body blood flow! It been a bit since I got 12 good pull ups! :wink:
stone loads 108x5, 140x5, 167x5, 205 x 6 total :D!!!
front squats 45x3, 135x3, 175, 200, 220, 185x5 x 5 sets
farmers handles empty (45# / hand x 50 feet, 155#/hand x 50 feet, 175#/hand x 50 feet, 185#/hand x 50 feet, 195#/hand x 50 feet
step mill x 27 minutes at 24 hour after turbo Costco run

First 205 stone load was solid, no problem at all which felt fantastic! The other loads took about 10 minutes to get the other 5, I walk about between loads. I take my time with the 205 so I don’t blow a hammstring again. I remembered to squeeze the juice outta that stone and it worked. :D!!!

Ten minutes of my lifting time was waiting for someone who must having been doing very bad things in the bathroom to get out so I can wash the tacky towel stickyness off my hands. I got scared of what was going to be in there when he was done so I washed my hands in the trash can with a gallon of water from my car–after waiting a good ten minutes with the baby oil de-gunking my hands. That’s why I go at 3:30am normally.

Here’s my tattoo ! I am most pleased for the end of LOTTTTTT of time inbetween work and a lot of time getting it worked on. This is what making the best of a WILD situation looks like. Its faded here and there, but I do not care. That thing has been put to bed too. OVER IT :wink:

Apologizes for the half-moon, no other way to get it all in!


pull ups 10, 5, mixed into warm ups ( hip circle/ glute activation)
dead lifts mixed grip 45x3, 135x3, 205x3, 245, 270, 290, 310, 225x24
clean grip reverse alternating lunges total reps 65#/10, 85# x 10, 105x10, 125x5
fs 95# x 25, 115#x15
t bar presses bar x10, bar plus 20 x 5 x 5 sets
ss with pull ups 5, 5, 5, 5, 5
t bar rows empty x 8, 95# x 8 x 4 sets
heavy seated rows ( pully thing) 100x8, 115x8, 130x8, 145x8, 160x8, 175x8, 110 x 10
the “tank” prowler type thing pushes 4 back and forths


Awesome tat! And 205x6 Wow! Congrats!


Thanks Chicken!! Why, there’s a bitmoji for that!! HA HA HA!!! :D!!bitmoji-20180420091556

GRRRRR!!! AND WOOOOHOOOO every SINGLE time I can get that thing off the ground is a full on party!!! :D!!! Never looses it glitz!!


Today 5 mile walk


Called in yesterday to help the ON techs with a wild night- THEY had 4 cpr’s, I lucked out and got the LOVELY parvo patient :D!!! MY FAVORITE type of patient!!! I just love being the parvo nurse.

Hot , sweaty in an iso gown in the very early morning brings back so many memories.

dead lifts hook grip 45x3, 135x3, 185x3, 225x3, 265x3, 280x3 x 3 sest
trap bar dead lifts worke dup to 317# x 3 x 3 sets
mixed grip singles up to 340#
ssb walking lunges bar plus 50# x 50 feet, plus 70# x 50 feet
sand bag carries 150#2 x 313 feet ( distance PR), 150# x 200 feet, x 100 feet

Holy cow. I have to get it together! Lifting has been what I’ve been looking forward to most days, a true highlight–but lately its been me having a very hard time getting out of bed. Not I’m tired, because I go tot bed with the intention of lifting in the morning, and get to bed early, but the sucking vortex of bummer-itis. Today was a small victory getting up.

I always feel better of course after lifting, but the lamer depression shit is a fight during warm ups, during half the lifting --come on MAN. Get this lamer/sadness specter (being stupidly bummed out) off my back! Its not going to help anything and I know it!

I know its a matter of fighting it, but fuck off! I need some kinda torch or garlic neckalce for DA BLUES!!!