T Nation

Brothers of the Barbell


#1

This is to every man worth his salt in the sacred place that we all call "THE GYM".
This is to all those brothers of the barbell, who would never of thought to use that pussy ass foam protector on something as sacred as a squat.

This is for anyone who has ever gotten blood blisters from lifting, from anyone who has collapsed of swear they have seen somethin that wasnt quite there, after a balls out leg day.

for anyone who has thrown up a lung or any other organ, for any man who has put so much into a workout that he cannot operate his car or scratch his balls after a workout for fear that they might have been left hanging from the chin up bar. THIS IS FOR YOU

This is to any man who has watched some punk ass bitch, make a sheer mockery of the sacred, ritualistic practice of whats known as a workout.
This is for all those T-NATIONERS, thats right i made it up, but that you mothers readin this post.
I know what lerks inside that primitve, dnt fuck with me, im here to do a job mentality.
GOD knows we have all dreamed even fantasied about it....

NO NEED TO FEAR....

I HAVE THE SOLUTION...

THE ULTIMATE IN THE PURSUIT FOR MUSCLE, STRENGTH AND TRAINERS WHO "KNOW" WHAT THERE ON ABOUT....

GENTLEMEN MAY I PRESENT ....

THE T-NATION, MEMBERS ONLY GYM.

now i can hear the laughter already, but fellas no matter how unrealistic this may seem, please just imagine what could be...

but teak... how do we know if ur a true T-Nationer??

and i answer, a simple practical test. all member must be able to succesfully perform the following...
a SQUAT.. non of this slight flex at the knee shit, like i was privy to last night as i rested from my weighted wide grips.

a DEADLIFT.. and this must be done with at least body weight, there are no posers in the T-NATION SANCTUM
then you must answer... what are you going to do if.... a hot ass bitch is making eyes at you and licking her lips, while your buddy is leavin his spleen on the floor as he bangs out this last rep.

if you answer... bimbo... your ass aint even gettin through the door.
if you answer... suck it up turn and yell and scream at your buddy, tellin him that hes got this, its all you motherfucker, come on baby push this bitch.... WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TRAINING

and for u smart ass' who answer.."hold on baby, ill be right there" you missing the point.

THIS GYM AINT FOR THE BITCHES, POSERS AND WANNABES
IT AINT FOR THE TAPOUT WEARING, NO LOWER BODY HAVIN, WHAT IS A SQUAT ASKIN, PERVE ON MY BICEP LOOKIN, PANSY ASS MOTHERS THAT PLAGUE OUR GYM.

GOD DAMMIT, I WANNA WORK OUT, I WANNA KNOW THAT THE GUY THATS GOT MY BACK IS THINKING, THIS GUY GOT THIS, DAMMIT IM GONNA HAVE TO GO FIND MORE WEIGHT OTHERWISE HE GONNA YELL AT ME AGAIN.

gentlemen the best part about these member only gyms.... no ellipticals, no saunas, no pansy ass music and most of all, no god damn group fitness classes. so when we all rock up we dont have to fight tooth and nail for a fukin car park.


#2

Sounds good.

When do you open this gym?


#3

Do we get Members Only jackets if we sign up?


#4

Can I join? Will you have calf machines?


#5

NO WAY…
NO JACKETS…

because guaranteed that people will develop an ego, sporting these jackets like the TAPOUT posers, yes you know the ones. The guy who weighs 60kg on a wet day and says dnt fuck with me ill triangle you. but back to the jackets. what would then happen if some members girl decided to bedazzle the fuk outta it, it would taint everything T-NATION stands for, so NO JACKETS, we might be able to have rings, similar to the stone cutters, somethin more discrete.

you can most definitely join, on the premise that u meet the above criteria.
and yes there will be a calf machine.


#6

[quote]Teak wrote:
This is to every man worth his salt in the sacred place that we all call “THE GYM”.
This is to all those brothers of the barbell, who would never of thought to use that pussy ass foam protector on something as sacred as a squat.

This is for anyone who has ever gotten blood blisters from lifting, from anyone who has collapsed of swear they have seen somethin that wasnt quite there, after a balls out leg day.

for anyone who has thrown up a lung or any other organ, for any man who has put so much into a workout that he cannot operate his car or scratch his balls after a workout for fear that they might have been left hanging from the chin up bar. THIS IS FOR YOU
This is to any man who has watched some punk ass bitch, make a sheer mockery of the sacred, ritualistic practice of whats known as a workout.
This is for all those T-NATIONERS, thats right i made it up, but that you mothers readin this post.
I know what lerks inside that primitve, dnt fuck with me, im here to do a job mentality.
GOD knows we have all dreamed even fantasied about it…

NO NEED TO FEAR…

I HAVE THE SOLUTION…

THE ULTIMATE IN THE PURSUIT FOR MUSCLE, STRENGTH AND TRAINERS WHO “KNOW” WHAT THERE ON ABOUT…

GENTLEMEN MAY I PRESENT …

THE T-NATION, MEMBERS ONLY GYM.

now i can hear the laughter already, but fellas no matter how unrealistic this may seem, please just imagine what could be…

but teak… how do we know if ur a true T-Nationer??

and i answer, a simple practical test. all member must be able to succesfully perform the following…
a SQUAT… non of this slight flex at the knee shit, like i was privy to last night as i rested from my weighted wide grips.
a DEADLIFT… and this must be done with at least body weight, there are no posers in the T-NATION SANCTUM
then you must answer… what are you going to do if… a hot ass bitch is making eyes at you and licking her lips, while your buddy is leavin his spleen on the floor as he bangs out this last rep.

if you answer… bimbo… your ass aint even gettin through the door.
if you answer… suck it up turn and yell and scream at your buddy, tellin him that hes got this, its all you motherfucker, come on baby push this bitch… WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TRAINING

and for u smart ass’ who answer…“hold on baby, ill be right there” you missing the point.

THIS GYM AINT FOR THE BITCHES, POSERS AND WANNABES
IT AINT FOR THE TAPOUT WEARING, NO LOWER BODY HAVIN, WHAT IS A SQUAT ASKIN, PERVE ON MY BICEP LOOKIN, PANSY ASS MOTHERS THAT PLAGUE OUR GYM.

GOD DAMMIT, I WANNA WORK OUT, I WANNA KNOW THAT THE GUY THATS GOT MY BACK IS THINKING, THIS GUY GOT THIS, DAMMIT IM GONNA HAVE TO GO FIND MORE WEIGHT OTHERWISE HE GONNA YELL AT ME AGAIN.

gentlemen the best part about these member only gyms… no ellipticals, no saunas, no pansy ass music and most of all, no god damn group fitness classes. so when we all rock up we dont have to fight tooth and nail for a fukin car park.

[/quote]

Man this would be fuken pimp, no more soft cocks walking around the gym wasting space and time, people shit me like just today some cock sucker kept geting in the fuken way while i was busting my ass trying to do heavy barbell lunge had to keep pausing so i didnt crack him in the head with the bar but than again mabby i should have, and i swear couldnt breath from all the useless people taking up the oxoygen with there shit talking anyway thats enough complaining from me lol. Anth.


#7

Can I curl in ur squat rack? I only want to tone my bi’s


#8

Will there be a Lunk Alarm for people who don’t squat, or deadlift, but only do kickbacks?


#9

So…I’m guessing there won’t be any gym sluts?


#10

[quote]Itchy wrote:
So…I’m guessing there won’t be any gym sluts?[/quote]

I think there would be, but they’d be dudes. Enter the locker room at your own risk.

Yes, I am bitter about there being no jackets.


#11

I train hard, but I also enjoy the scenery at my gym too. Sounds like your gym will be missing this crucial element.


#12

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
Itchy wrote:
So…I’m guessing there won’t be any gym sluts?

I think there would be, but they’d be dudes. Enter the locker room at your own risk.

Yes, I am bitter about there being no jackets. [/quote]

As long as they have those nifty HS machines.

Oh, and an elevator to take me to the second floor. I hate fucking stairs.


#13

[quote]Rhino Jockey wrote:
I train hard, but I also enjoy the scenery at my gym too. Sounds like your gym will be missing this crucial element.[/quote]

Dude, I’ve seen your avatar a brazillion times and I just now noticed the facial phallus. Awesome.


#14

[quote]anfony12345 wrote:
Teak wrote:
This is to every man worth his salt in the sacred place that we all call “THE GYM”.
This is to all those brothers of the barbell, who would never of thought to use that pussy ass foam protector on something as sacred as a squat.

This is for anyone who has ever gotten blood blisters from lifting, from anyone who has collapsed of swear they have seen somethin that wasnt quite there, after a balls out leg day.

for anyone who has thrown up a lung or any other organ, for any man who has put so much into a workout that he cannot operate his car or scratch his balls after a workout for fear that they might have been left hanging from the chin up bar. THIS IS FOR YOU
This is to any man who has watched some punk ass bitch, make a sheer mockery of the sacred, ritualistic practice of whats known as a workout.
This is for all those T-NATIONERS, thats right i made it up, but that you mothers readin this post.
I know what lerks inside that primitve, dnt fuck with me, im here to do a job mentality.
GOD knows we have all dreamed even fantasied about it…

NO NEED TO FEAR…

I HAVE THE SOLUTION…

THE ULTIMATE IN THE PURSUIT FOR MUSCLE, STRENGTH AND TRAINERS WHO “KNOW” WHAT THERE ON ABOUT…

GENTLEMEN MAY I PRESENT …

THE T-Nation, MEMBERS ONLY GYM.

now i can hear the laughter already, but fellas no matter how unrealistic this may seem, please just imagine what could be…

but teak… how do we know if ur a true T-Nationer??

and i answer, a simple practical test. all member must be able to succesfully perform the following…
a SQUAT… non of this slight flex at the knee shit, like i was privy to last night as i rested from my weighted wide grips.
a DEADLIFT… and this must be done with at least body weight, there are no posers in the T-Nation SANCTUM
then you must answer… what are you going to do if… a hot ass bitch is making eyes at you and licking her lips, while your buddy is leavin his spleen on the floor as he bangs out this last rep.

if you answer… bimbo… your ass aint even gettin through the door.
if you answer… suck it up turn and yell and scream at your buddy, tellin him that hes got this, its all you motherfucker, come on baby push this bitch… WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TRAINING

and for u smart ass’ who answer…“hold on baby, ill be right there” you missing the point.

THIS GYM AINT FOR THE BITCHES, POSERS AND WANNABES
IT AINT FOR THE TAPOUT WEARING, NO LOWER BODY HAVIN, WHAT IS A SQUAT ASKIN, PERVE ON MY BICEP LOOKIN, PANSY ASS MOTHERS THAT PLAGUE OUR GYM.

GOD DAMMIT, I WANNA WORK OUT, I WANNA KNOW THAT THE GUY THATS GOT MY BACK IS THINKING, THIS GUY GOT THIS, DAMMIT IM GONNA HAVE TO GO FIND MORE WEIGHT OTHERWISE HE GONNA YELL AT ME AGAIN.

gentlemen the best part about these member only gyms… no ellipticals, no saunas, no pansy ass music and most of all, no god damn group fitness classes. so when we all rock up we dont have to fight tooth and nail for a fukin car park.

Man this would be fuken pimp, no more soft cocks walking around the gym wasting space and time, people shit me like just today some cock sucker kept geting in the fuken way while i was busting my ass trying to do heavy barbell lunge had to keep pausing so i didnt crack him in the head with the bar but than again mabby i should have, and i swear couldnt breath from all the useless people taking up the oxoygen with there shit talking anyway thats enough complaining from me lol. Anth.
[/quote]

lolwut?


#15

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:
Itchy wrote:
So…I’m guessing there won’t be any gym sluts?

I think there would be, but they’d be dudes. Enter the locker room at your own risk.

Yes, I am bitter about there being no jackets. [/quote]

I was rather keen to the jacket idea, myself. I don’t even think that the op really even thought about it, before dismissing the idea.

I think that there should be a vote.

How about a nice pinky ring?
Or, maybe even a Prince Albert to show our commitment.


#16


#17

[quote]imhungry wrote:
Doug Adams wrote:
Itchy wrote:
So…I’m guessing there won’t be any gym sluts?

I think there would be, but they’d be dudes. Enter the locker room at your own risk.

Yes, I am bitter about there being no jackets.

I was rather keen to the jacket idea, myself. I don’t even think that the op really even thought about it, before dismissing the idea.

I think that there should be a vote.

How about a nice pinky ring?
Or, maybe even a Prince Albert to show our commitment.[/quote]

I also think your shins should be perpetually torn to shit from deadlifting so much. You aren’t hardcore if you don’t have bloody shins.

Oh, and anyone doing ANYTHING besides squatting in the squat rack will be barbecued and devoured, because we all know that’s the ONLY thing the squat rack can be used for.

/sarcasm


#18

Can we smell as bad as we like? I hate using deodorant.


#19

Hard to get motivated by a post when there are about 10 misspelled words in the first paragraph.


#20

if you answer… bimbo… your ass aint even gettin through the door.
if you answer… suck it up turn and yell and scream at your buddy, tellin him that hes got this, its all you motherfucker, come on baby push this bitch… WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TRAINING

I am saying bimbo all the way, sorry but damn man gotta get laid. Its part of training.