This is to every man worth his salt in the sacred place that we all call “THE GYM”.
This is to all those brothers of the barbell, who would never of thought to use that pussy ass foam protector on something as sacred as a squat.
This is for anyone who has ever gotten blood blisters from lifting, from anyone who has collapsed of swear they have seen somethin that wasnt quite there, after a balls out leg day.
for anyone who has thrown up a lung or any other organ, for any man who has put so much into a workout that he cannot operate his car or scratch his balls after a workout for fear that they might have been left hanging from the chin up bar. THIS IS FOR YOU
This is to any man who has watched some punk ass bitch, make a sheer mockery of the sacred, ritualistic practice of whats known as a workout.
This is for all those T-NATIONERS, thats right i made it up, but that you mothers readin this post.
I know what lerks inside that primitve, dnt fuck with me, im here to do a job mentality.
GOD knows we have all dreamed even fantasied about it…
NO NEED TO FEAR…
I HAVE THE SOLUTION…
THE ULTIMATE IN THE PURSUIT FOR MUSCLE, STRENGTH AND TRAINERS WHO “KNOW” WHAT THERE ON ABOUT…
GENTLEMEN MAY I PRESENT …
THE T-NATION, MEMBERS ONLY GYM.
now i can hear the laughter already, but fellas no matter how unrealistic this may seem, please just imagine what could be…
but teak… how do we know if ur a true T-Nationer??
and i answer, a simple practical test. all member must be able to succesfully perform the following…
a SQUAT… non of this slight flex at the knee shit, like i was privy to last night as i rested from my weighted wide grips.
a DEADLIFT… and this must be done with at least body weight, there are no posers in the T-NATION SANCTUM
then you must answer… what are you going to do if… a hot ass bitch is making eyes at you and licking her lips, while your buddy is leavin his spleen on the floor as he bangs out this last rep.
if you answer… bimbo… your ass aint even gettin through the door.
if you answer… suck it up turn and yell and scream at your buddy, tellin him that hes got this, its all you motherfucker, come on baby push this bitch… WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TRAINING
and for u smart ass’ who answer…“hold on baby, ill be right there” you missing the point.
THIS GYM AINT FOR THE BITCHES, POSERS AND WANNABES
IT AINT FOR THE TAPOUT WEARING, NO LOWER BODY HAVIN, WHAT IS A SQUAT ASKIN, PERVE ON MY BICEP LOOKIN, PANSY ASS MOTHERS THAT PLAGUE OUR GYM.
GOD DAMMIT, I WANNA WORK OUT, I WANNA KNOW THAT THE GUY THATS GOT MY BACK IS THINKING, THIS GUY GOT THIS, DAMMIT IM GONNA HAVE TO GO FIND MORE WEIGHT OTHERWISE HE GONNA YELL AT ME AGAIN.
gentlemen the best part about these member only gyms… no ellipticals, no saunas, no pansy ass music and most of all, no god damn group fitness classes. so when we all rock up we dont have to fight tooth and nail for a fukin car park.