A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she
touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, ‘As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little ‘Oral sex’ will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.’ The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.
The husband finally agreed and went into his wife’s room. After a few minutes the woman’s monitor flat lined, no pulse, no breathing. The nurses run back into the room. ‘What happened!?’ they cried.
The husband said, ‘I’m not sure; maybe she choked.’
there are three guys in the desert. it is hot and they have no water, but they find this old house, where this nasty old lady lives. (why it is in the middle of the desert i dunno).
so they send the one guy in. he asks for a glass of water, and she says she will only give it to him if he bangs her. he reluctantly agrees, and he heads off. out of the corner of his eye he spots three cobs of corn, so instead of nailing her, he just shoves the cob up in there.
the old lady loves it, and she says she will give him $100 to do it again. so he tosses the first cob out, and rams the second one in her.
the old lady then says that was even better, and if you do it again i will give you the keys to my car. so the guy tosses out the old piece of corn and uses the final cob, and then he runs out to find his two buddies sitting there. he says “you will not believe what just happened”
and his buddies say
“i do not know about you, but we just had the best two pieces of buttered corn on the cob”