T Nation

Brother-In-Law & Bar...Questions About Work.

I lost my job a month and a half ago, over some bullshyt going down at work. Anyways, it was somewhat a relief, because the job was a pain in the ass, and at the same time I was running a business so I thought it was more trouble than it was worth.

I have a good work ethic, and at my last job, never missed a day, never came in late for about 8 months, was a top seller and even got employee of the month for our region. It was one of those corporate server jobs… Anyways, I had wanted to be a bartender but they never gave me the opportunity. My brother in law owns a bar, and I asked him, and he said he’d try me as a part time bartender for events and stuff.

So I worked for him for free, because his bar is kind of tight, but also just to show I was for real about doing this…and I want to learn to be a bartender so I’ll take the loss.

Anyways, he liked how I worked, so he offered me a job.

Now this is where I am, business is iffy and slow, but we still pull a decent crowd. He hired these two bartenders at the same time he hired me, and fired his old one. So we’re all new.

One of the uys is my age, but from this town (this bar is located about an hour and a half outside of a major city.) He is a straight soldier, he brings in a crowd, is lively, peppy, fun, and is well liked in the area.

The other guy is from outside of the town like me. He is older, has a full time job, and is not as dedicate, it’s extra cash for him.

My brother in law has been paying me, but kind of stiffing me, last week he gave me like 40% on tip out and tonight I’m unsure, but it was only 35 dollars (not sure if it was 33%).

Here is the thing, I don’t know every drink known to man, but, I am a way harder worker and better liked by customers than the older guy. Shyt, better looking too. Yet, the older guy is favored by brother in law, even tho he doesnt give half a shit as much as I do, and doesn’t work as hard.

I do as much or more sales than him in a night, and clean the whole bar more or less by myself, he doesn’t clean anything. I want this bartender position, beacause as it is right now, we are all fighting for it. For me this is also more vital cash, because this guy has a decent salary job. There is not enough clienetele and tips coming in for all of is, and when it is slow, this older dude, will suggest my brother-in-law set me up in the back beer, which is beer only, in the smoking section, and I literally make like 15 bux a night plus wage.

What do you guys think I should do? I work harder, care more, and need more this money, than this guy im competing with. I’d like to drive him out of the picture, and work at my brother in laws bar, till I am a more skilled tender and get a job in a bar in the major city I live in.

How should I confront this? How would you confront this?

Tell your sister to stop sleeping with him. That is like blackmail 101.

Let’s see you didn’t do well at your previous job and probably aren’t doing well at this jobs. But, you work super hard and are dedicated? Everyone complains about piss poor drivers on the road but nobody ever admits to being one.

If you truly are fucking awesome why don’t you go work somewhere else? Maybe he doesn’t know how good of a worker you are. Maybe he is taking it hard on you because he doesn’t want to show favoritism to the brother-in-law. Maybe you are just a complaining lil biotch that hasn’t put in your dues anywhere while constantly expecting recognition/benefits?

Do you really want to piss your life away by being a bartender? If you need the money now I can understand but at your previous job you mention bullshyt and them not letting you be a bartender so it sounds like a life long goal. There are better ways to make 30-40k a year than having smoke and alcohol breath assaulting you all night.

Anyways, there are a lot of maybes and information you haven’t provided. If you are going to confront your brother-in-law about it wait until you cool off and don’t do it a family get together. Hopefully, you’ve learned that you should never work for a friend or family member and never loan them money. Cause if one party feels they aren’t getting their 50% out of the situation your relationship is pretty much fucked for life.

slit the older guy’s fucking throat.

I’m a good worker, at my last job we just had too many chiefs and not enough indians. One of these indians didn’t really like me, and we had a falling out. I didn’t get bartender position because we had 4 bartenders already, and about 5 ppl that were asking for it, some of whom had been there longer.

True, that was a vent. Honestly, he doesn’t appreciate me, and he doesn’t have the funds to pay me. I think its time for me to go and get a job in STL.

Study your trade on your personal time till you know all that is written about mixed drinks and work your ass off cheerfully and without complaint. That is all you really can do. If he does not hire you full time, then at least you will have some experience and some knowledge of the trade to get a job elsewhere.

[quote]GhorigTheBeefy wrote:

Do you really want to piss your life away by being a bartender? If you need the money now I can understand but at your previous job you mention bullshyt and them not letting you be a bartender so it sounds like a life long goal. There are better ways to make 30-40k a year than having smoke and alcohol breath assaulting you all night.

Some people really look at the position as a goal to achieve. It is a fun job and easy to meet people and have a fun time.

If you are a bartender and are only making 30~40K a year you suck or are in a shit hole. Hell I take home more in two shifts a week tending bar then I do out of my teaching pay. figure 200~300 a shift during busy time. so 400~600 wk. To make the equivalent of what I was making full time bartender and going to school I would have to make 65~70K a year. to take home what I was working 4-5 nights a week. when you add in that I was paying 500 a month for health insurance you could knock it down to 60K a year. But I make would say I make on the low end in my area, if you consider the City and right around college campus. Beach or a vacation spot changes everything and the pay can go up substantially

If you are good,fast, honest, fast, honest. you can make tons of money bar tending. However the long term sucks. No one wants to be the 50 year old guy tending bar. Well I don’t. Plus it’s hard to have a life when your in the biz.

If you are as good as you think then look in other places. get closer to a city. Learn the drinks and if you don’t know something for a girl make it red and sweet. Most of the time people don’t know whats in the shot and there are tons of ways to make everything. Do an online search for Purple MOFO, or sex on the beach usually a dozen ways to make it.

If you really like the lifestyle of being a bartender you should look into owning your bar…eventually. It’s the only way that I ever see making this a viable long term career except if you are the #1 trick bartender in the world.

Let’s say you can even make 60k as a bartender, it is going to be in a big city. That means higher cost of living. So are you really making more money or just spending more to have the same level of comfort in a different location? Really the only benefits of being a bartender are if you like the scene, can only work at night, and you usually don’t pay much in taxes cause 50% or more of your take come from tips.

To the OP:

If you aren’t being appreciated move on. It isn’t like there aren’t positions on almost every corner. However, if you keep drifting from one job to the next without ever feeling appreciated you may need to look inward to find out what is truly wrong. Hopefully, that won’t be the case but you don’t want to realize 30 years from now that the reason you never had a good job was due to a shitty attitude, bad service, and halitosis(may need an outside source to confirm this one).