T Nation

Broken

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Yes. But I don’t want to talk about it.
I’m doing what a man should do and I’m bottling it up until the day when I need to fucking explode on someone.

lol[/quote]

Lloyd Braun: You know, you should tell your dad that ‘serenity now’ thing doesn’t work. It just bottles up the anger, and eventually, you blow.
George Costanza: What do you know? You were in the nut house.
Lloyd Braun: What do you think put me there?
George Costanza: I heard they found a family in your freezer.
Lloyd Braun: Serenity now. Insanity later.

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:
Interesting timing. I tend not to get too personal on these boards…but I need to vent with my current situation. Anyways,wife had a miscarriage. Me and her both were ultra-excited about getting to see the baby about 3 weeks ago…then were devastated when they could no longer find heartbeat and it had stopped growing.

I’ve dealt with it pretty well…the wife is off and on. Really concerned about her and doing my best to keep her spirits up or let her deal in her own way. It really bums the hell out of me when I catch her crying and sobbing just when I think she’s moved on…I think I’ve finally accepted that it will take her a while. [/quote]

Really sorry for your loss man

[quote]Aragorn wrote:
It doesn’t even have to make sense.

Ok, my turn. I might as well lead by example.

So the girl I thought was custom made for me by God himself broke up with me today. We had a long, honest conversation. It was horrible. I loved the honesty part. I hated everything else. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself.

I’ve been around the block enough to know precisely how rare my girl was. And exactly how long she’s going to take to get over. She was literally one in a billion. So…what do I do? I’m drunk right now. And I don’t care. Currently I’m too numb to know what’s going on. However, I imagine as soon as I am aware enough to move, I will drive home and crash.

I don’t know what will happen after that. Most likely I will go crazy.

Awesomely, my dad has kidney stones too big to pass and my uncle had a big ass stroke in the last week.

Ok, your turn.[/quote]

You’ll get over it. I know that sounds impossible right now but you will…and youll come out of this better off. We’ve all been there, just keep your head up. Its all you can do.

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:
Interesting timing. I tend not to get too personal on these boards…but I need to vent with my current situation. Anyways,wife had a miscarriage. Me and her both were ultra-excited about getting to see the baby about 3 weeks ago…then were devastated when they could no longer find heartbeat and it had stopped growing.

I’ve dealt with it pretty well…the wife is off and on. Really concerned about her and doing my best to keep her spirits up or let her deal in her own way. It really bums the hell out of me when I catch her crying and sobbing just when I think she’s moved on…I think I’ve finally accepted that it will take her a while. [/quote]

This just takes time. We had a miscarriage about four years ago now. We still talk about our little angel. The baby would have been our first girl after having two boys. Luckily she was able to conceive again. So now we have a beautiful three year old princess. There will be brighter days. What was most comforting for us was the number of friends and family, even co-workers, that shared their pregnancy losses with us.

[quote]Doug Adams wrote:

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:
Interesting timing. I tend not to get too personal on these boards…but I need to vent with my current situation. Anyways,wife had a miscarriage. Me and her both were ultra-excited about getting to see the baby about 3 weeks ago…then were devastated when they could no longer find heartbeat and it had stopped growing.

I’ve dealt with it pretty well…the wife is off and on. Really concerned about her and doing my best to keep her spirits up or let her deal in her own way. It really bums the hell out of me when I catch her crying and sobbing just when I think she’s moved on…I think I’ve finally accepted that it will take her a while. [/quote]

So that’s what you were talking about on fb. Damn man, I’m sorry to hear that and hopefully you guys have a kid in the future. [/quote]

Yeah…we had been “reserved” about the pregnancy in the first place…just in case things like this would happen. We kind of prepared ourselves with knowing the chances of miscarriage…but it was still hard to deal with.

This thread is sad, sorry for everyone’s losses (whatever they may be).

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:
Interesting timing. I tend not to get too personal on these boards…but I need to vent with my current situation. Anyways,wife had a miscarriage. Me and her both were ultra-excited about getting to see the baby about 3 weeks ago…then were devastated when they could no longer find heartbeat and it had stopped growing.

I’ve dealt with it pretty well…the wife is off and on. Really concerned about her and doing my best to keep her spirits up or let her deal in her own way. It really bums the hell out of me when I catch her crying and sobbing just when I think she’s moved on…I think I’ve finally accepted that it will take her a while. [/quote]

This majorly sucks, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain.

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Sorry for your loss Boss, staying on the child note. My 19 year old son who is away at college decided to run up bank charges of almost $1000 in his/mine joint checking account. He also got arrested for possesion and dropped his classes. So I had to cut him off finacially and tell him I love him but he is on his own. Welcome to adulthood. Now he is telling everyone how I did nothing for him and expect him to do everything on his own. Nothing can rip out your heart like your kids can.[/quote]

That is a harsh lesson…that he needs. I can imagine your disappointment…edit was he going to school stateside?

[quote]TheDudeAbides wrote:

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:
Interesting timing. I tend not to get too personal on these boards…but I need to vent with my current situation. Anyways,wife had a miscarriage. Me and her both were ultra-excited about getting to see the baby about 3 weeks ago…then were devastated when they could no longer find heartbeat and it had stopped growing.

I’ve dealt with it pretty well…the wife is off and on. Really concerned about her and doing my best to keep her spirits up or let her deal in her own way. It really bums the hell out of me when I catch her crying and sobbing just when I think she’s moved on…I think I’ve finally accepted that it will take her a while. [/quote]

This just takes time. We had a miscarriage about four years ago now. We still talk about our little angel. The baby would have been our first girl after having two boys. Luckily she was able to conceive again. So now we have a beautiful three year old princess. There will be brighter days. What was most comforting for us was the number of friends and family, even co-workers, that shared their pregnancy losses with us.[/quote]

The support we’ve had has been great…even from our doctor and his nurses. One of the nurses actually calls my wife to check in on her.

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:
Interesting timing. I tend not to get too personal on these boards…but I need to vent with my current situation. Anyways,wife had a miscarriage. Me and her both were ultra-excited about getting to see the baby about 3 weeks ago…then were devastated when they could no longer find heartbeat and it had stopped growing.

I’ve dealt with it pretty well…the wife is off and on. Really concerned about her and doing my best to keep her spirits up or let her deal in her own way. It really bums the hell out of me when I catch her crying and sobbing just when I think she’s moved on…I think I’ve finally accepted that it will take her a while. [/quote]

This majorly sucks, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain.
[/quote]

I’ve experienced loss before…just not like this.

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Sorry for your loss Boss, staying on the child note. My 19 year old son who is away at college decided to run up bank charges of almost $1000 in his/mine joint checking account. He also got arrested for possesion and dropped his classes. So I had to cut him off finacially and tell him I love him but he is on his own. Welcome to adulthood. Now he is telling everyone how I did nothing for him and expect him to do everything on his own. Nothing can rip out your heart like your kids can.[/quote]

That is a harsh lesson…that he needs. I can imagine your disappointment…is he going to school stateside?[/quote]

Agreed, one day he’ll realize you’re teaching him a lesson he needs to learn, djht.

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Sorry for your loss Boss, staying on the child note. My 19 year old son who is away at college decided to run up bank charges of almost $1000 in his/mine joint checking account. He also got arrested for possesion and dropped his classes. So I had to cut him off finacially and tell him I love him but he is on his own. Welcome to adulthood. Now he is telling everyone how I did nothing for him and expect him to do everything on his own. Nothing can rip out your heart like your kids can.[/quote]

That is a harsh lesson…that he needs. I can imagine your disappointment…edit was he going to school stateside?[/quote]

Yes his mom lives in Corpus and I live in Houston now. I sent him to Blinn in college station thinking that being away from his mom he would grow up. It is a hard lesson and he is now having to work two jobs to pay his bills. He is my first and was my football star, but his senior year decided after 3 years of varisty he wanted to quit playing. He also decided that he didnt have to go to Dad’s house any more cause Dad had rules. Mom had no curfew and didnt make him do chores. He will grow up just sucks waiting to talk to your own kid again.

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Sorry for your loss Boss, staying on the child note. My 19 year old son who is away at college decided to run up bank charges of almost $1000 in his/mine joint checking account. He also got arrested for possesion and dropped his classes. So I had to cut him off finacially and tell him I love him but he is on his own. Welcome to adulthood. Now he is telling everyone how I did nothing for him and expect him to do everything on his own. Nothing can rip out your heart like your kids can.[/quote]

He will thank you one day. You did the right thing.

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Sorry for your loss Boss, staying on the child note. My 19 year old son who is away at college decided to run up bank charges of almost $1000 in his/mine joint checking account. He also got arrested for possesion and dropped his classes. So I had to cut him off finacially and tell him I love him but he is on his own. Welcome to adulthood. Now he is telling everyone how I did nothing for him and expect him to do everything on his own. Nothing can rip out your heart like your kids can.[/quote]

That is a harsh lesson…that he needs. I can imagine your disappointment…is he going to school stateside?[/quote]

Agreed, one day he’ll realize you’re teaching him a lesson he needs to learn, djht. [/quote]

Thanks yea I know, just the waiting sucks, miss my son.

[quote]Steel Nation wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Sorry for your loss Boss, staying on the child note. My 19 year old son who is away at college decided to run up bank charges of almost $1000 in his/mine joint checking account. He also got arrested for possesion and dropped his classes. So I had to cut him off finacially and tell him I love him but he is on his own. Welcome to adulthood. Now he is telling everyone how I did nothing for him and expect him to do everything on his own. Nothing can rip out your heart like your kids can.[/quote]

He will thank you one day. You did the right thing.[/quote]

Thanks. Just want to strangle the little shit. You know I had even given him TC’s book to read right after he graduated hopefully to have some influence on him. I just keep praying.

I wake up every morning and spend the day trying to decide whether I’m scared of having kids, or scared of getting divorced. I’m stuck in this fear cycle and going no where. It paralyzes me in every facet of my life.

this threads depressing.

my wrist is still fucked up, my achilles hurts, i can’t be bothered going to training, my friends are getting bigger and stronger than me, and i’m getting behind with uni.
FUCK YOU APATHY!

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Big_Boss wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
Sorry for your loss Boss, staying on the child note. My 19 year old son who is away at college decided to run up bank charges of almost $1000 in his/mine joint checking account. He also got arrested for possesion and dropped his classes. So I had to cut him off finacially and tell him I love him but he is on his own. Welcome to adulthood. Now he is telling everyone how I did nothing for him and expect him to do everything on his own. Nothing can rip out your heart like your kids can.[/quote]

That is a harsh lesson…that he needs. I can imagine your disappointment…edit was he going to school stateside?[/quote]

Yes his mom lives in Corpus and I live in Houston now. I sent him to Blinn in college station thinking that being away from his mom he would grow up. It is a hard lesson and he is now having to work two jobs to pay his bills. He is my first and was my football star, but his senior year decided after 3 years of varisty he wanted to quit playing. He also decided that he didnt have to go to Dad’s house any more cause Dad had rules. Mom had no curfew and didnt make him do chores. He will grow up just sucks waiting to talk to your own kid again.[/quote]

Damn…that sucks. Blinn is a pretty decent JUCO. Is he in Corpus now? For some reason,it came to mind that he might end up joining the Army. Don’t ask me why I thought that…lol. I guess I’m used to hearing the youngsters here in Killeen talk about signing up when life isn’t going “their” way.

I hope everyone who’s broken will feel better soon. I don’t think I can read any more sorrow right now. The weight of our collective heartbreak is bearing down on me.


Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend
Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again

SD comes to mind. Hey, shit gets better, just takes time.