Thanks Nikki...that really was the BIGGEST F#$%ing WASTE of time in my life....Even when I was 115lbs, size 0, and people asking me if I modeled all the time, I STILL thought I looked like shit. Id like to blame the media and all of that, but while that's part of it, I feel like the other part is not wanting to become an adult in someway. Once I took more direction in my life, I stopped caring what I looked like...or caring about how much I could control my food. I worry that working out is also sort of addicting for me, but I reason that it's just a way to cope right now with living in the middle of no where, working as much as possible, and just something to focus intensely on. This forum is really nice because y'all are really supportive and helpful.