T Nation

Boycotting Relative's Girl Friend


I need some advice.

I have a relative that got divorced about 2 years ago. Since then he had one girlfriend that wasn't too bad. She wasn't exactly pretty, or smart, but she was at least not a complete loser.

Now, he's started dating a complete loser. She looks to weigh a couple hundred pounds and stands about five foot two. Her clothes are way too tight, she smokes, her make-up is caked on, she gets shortness of breath just from laughing. She has 3 kids from 3 different fathers. One is 24 unmarried and with a 15 month old kids, the next is a 19 year old unmarried daughter with a 2 year old and the youngest is 9 (unmarried, but no babies).

The woman is 41 years old and a grandmother.

I'm pretty sure my relative has White Knight Syndrome. He's proclaiming this woman as the 'love of his life'.

I don't want to have anything to do with this person. I've met her once and that was more than enough. I don't want to encourage my relative to see this person. I want to let him know that he's totally fucked up in even touching this person let alone having sex with her and exclaiming he loves her.

What do you homoes think?



Tell him she came on to you.


If she gives awesome head, you've lost.

He's using the wrong head for thinking. Go find him a better date.

Run and hide.


You're probably in the right but as far as convincing him of that...good luck you're gonna need it.

You can try to Blitzkrieg him but most people become really stubborn and take great offense to this tactic and it will probably end up ruining your relationship. Then one day probably years from now he'll realize you are right and will forgive you but he'll still have been with her.

The only thing I can think of that might work would be to bring up how much you care about him and focus on how he has had and can do better than her but don't focus solely on her negatives. Tell him to take his time and don't rush into a decision because if she really loves/cares for him she'll wait.

Maybe the final bombshell could be something like, "hey if you want children why would you want them with this woman? She doesn't exactly have an inspiring track record for quality family values."

Good Luck


so besides all those bad qualities, some of which were far in the past, have you hung out with her much?


Wow. It's a really good thing you're not dating her.

People seem to find their own level. If she's as irredeemable a person as you describe, maybe he deserves her.


Good question/point.

I've only hung out with her once. Sometimes ya just get a gut feeling.

He's only been dating her like a month or two...he has 2 kids from his previous marriage...those 'kids' are 19 and 20 and he's been 'fixed' so he's not going to be having kids with this new woman...I don't even see him sticking around with her for longer than a year.

Maybe I phrased my question wrong, but what I'm really after here is what you guys think about saying, "look, I don't want that person in my house." NOT necessarily because I dissaprove of that person's past behaviour, etc, but because I don't want to invest any of my time into hanging out with my relative's dopey friend....

It's one thing if you've got to hang out with someone you dislike because they are related to you, but I'm picturing this relative of mine parading a different woman through my life every year or so and so far he's 0 for 2 on the women being anything remotely like who I'd hang out with.




Plus This. Catch and Release back into the wild.


I'd be willing to hang out with her at least 1-2 more times. Chances are she'll do/say something that makes your relative realize she's a dumbass, or at least give you a legit reason (in his eyes) to be worried about having her over again. If they stay isolated and on her turf, he might never see the light.


Just keep in mind that they're just dating, fucking, hangin out etc. and sooner or later they'll break up. My friends go out with girls I sometimes can't stand, it's just a waiting game.

You could probably meet your relative out in public and when you get tired of his girl you could go home, right? At least you don't have to live with her.


I agree.

If I had anyone in my family say that they didn't like my girlfriend, for any real reason, i'd tell them that I really couldn't give a rat's ass. The same would apply to anyone.I'm not that close with my relatives anyway.


Hook him up with someone much better.

This might cost money.


That sounds cool. Granted, if HE's not cool, he's not gonna be cool with that, so you only get points for trying. But it does get the point. If you guys have good communication, it should work out.


What are you, one of his kids and are worried about becoming attached to a new mommy in your life? Do you often become attached to your relative's girlfriends?

Sorry guy, she sounds like a loser but you sound a bit odd worrying about your time investment in hanging with someone else's girlfriend.

If you're really close with the relative, state your case, once, and with diplomacy. Then, mind your own business and and be as friendly and social as necessary.

My friends have dated many losers. Learn the art of nodding and smiling and mocking them when they aren't around.


Roll her down a large hill and hope she doesnt have a car at the bottom. By the sounds of it she'll be stuck down there if shes 5'2 and 200. Her atp will build up as soon as she stands up.


Well according to man law, we have to mock them when they are around.

So we cant really stifle the impeding conflict in this case.


Sorry gal, but I've got a full time job, 3 kids whose soccer teams I coach, church commitments every Wednesday where I play in the youth band with my oldest son and 2 basketball teams I assistant coach for my kids, etc, etc...why should I give some piece of garbage an hour of what time I have left over?


If this relative of your's has half a nutsack he'll tell you to go fuck yourself.

Then that will solve your problem, and you won't have to see either one of them.


You are much nicer than I am.

I was thinking of gun + shovel.

Your method is probably more humane.