This just makes me shake my head at those that think he was wrong.
I don't think this is abuse (although I wasn't there), but a professional boxer sparring with his kid is a lot different than a regular Joe boxing with his kid. I remember hearing that a professional boxers hands are legally considered lethal weapons.
Alexander is an MMA fighter. Not a pro boxer. As for the legal side of things, there is a lot more to it than just saying a pro boxer's hands are lethal weapons.
If Anything a Boxer or Trained person has MORE hand-muscle control than a person just swinging wild.
The problem I have is using a sparing session as a punishment tool. If you want to teach your child to box and during the lesson he gets tagged is one thing to do it in anger with the intent to cause pain as a lesson is something else.
At 16 if the kid is fucking up you need to find options other than an uppercut.
In before the Zealots begin touting their "I would never touch my child, this is abuse" rampages.
What do you suggest?
I'd certainly prefer the boxer in the story be sparring because he was training his kid.
It doesn't seem like a good idea to tell the kid to get the gloves on because he lied.
It's not the worst idea in the world, but you shouldn't be at all surprised that this isn't going to look good when the news gets a hold of it.
While I don't disagree with your view, I imagine he was following the "grown man" angle, based upon what the boy wrote, and his response to his dad. Believe me, my daughter often attempts to go down the road where she thinks she is grown. Grounding and such can only go so far.
Wow, must have been a slow news day.
Good for Alexander, he did what every father should do. His kid was being a little a--hole
and he showed him that his behavior wouldn't be tolerated, though it seems that the police
stuck their noses in and undid any positive lesson that may have come from it.
Maybe if Bernie Maddoff's poppa would have put down the gefilte fish and tagged the little
f---er a few times growing up more people would still have their retirement funds, but I
We live in a world where little pricks grow up to be big pricks and passive-aggressive P.C.
bull like THIS is why.
I quit humanity.
Punish the kid. A boxing match is a challenge. He has a chance to avoid the punishment although a small chance.
The kid is being taught that in time with practice he can be wrong as long as he can fight his way out of it.
Spanking a child is not the same as giving them the chance to win.
Shit my mom would have lost her mind if I raised a hand to block the belt much less punched back.
I agree with this in part. In Alexander's situation, I reckon the boy had NO chance to win.
While I don't necessarily disagree, how do you punish a 16 yr old? Take away the phone, the xbox, no friends? None of that's going to work. At 16 the boy is a man (oxymoron I know) and I don't think putting on the gloves is the first reaction. If the kid isn't responding to the initial/standard parenting devices, something must be done. I can appreciate that the Dad's response may have progressed. I'm not a child head shrink (can't believe people actually make money doing that) so I can only speak from my perspective.
Holy crap. At 16 I thought I was grown....as do MOST 16 year old boys so taking away cell phone privileges isn't doing shit.
I see nothing wrong with that. The man is a professional and knows how to hold back a punch.
It is becoming clear you can't even raise your own kids anymore without other people all in your business.
Exactly my point. The cell phone shit doesn't even work for my 14 y/o daughter, so I have to be pretty imaginative, as I am not going to put my hands on her...although she needs a good ass-whoopin.
I will never agree with a kid having an option to raise his hand to a parent while being disciplined.
I do not think this was anything more than pops showing the kid he was not in charge Dad is. I just think it was not a good way to show it.
If you're teaching the boy to defend himself and he takes some pops while training then shit it's less than the boy will get on the street. No issue (except to the nosey neighbors).
I think he wanted the kid to see he was not an equal by giving him a chance. I don't agree with giving them the chance.
Big Brother is watching you.
The problem is he let it be known what he did.
As a father I agree with this.
Putting on gloves and boxing is a great idea if the purpose is to teach him fighting skills or even just for fun. I think every dad should have some physical interaction like that whether it's wrestling, boxing, or simply playing tackle football. Of course I'm speaking from the point of view of someone who's athletic.
Punishment should be just that. Sparring is not punishment, it's fighting. As a father I shouldn't need to show my kid who's boss by fighting him. If that's what it takes then I haven't done my job very well. Being a father is like any other leadership position in that you have to figure out how to get respect and typically violence isn't the best way for that.
As far as how to punish a 16 year old, there's certainly ways but none are universal. I mean taking away his phone might be a big deal to him or it might not be. Maybe it's a matter of some sort of grounding or maybe it's taking away his phone. Hell, maybe it's a month of 5 am wake ups with a PT session thrown in. I can't tell you what the solution is because I don't know the kid. The key is to figure out what motivates them and use that as a tool. That's the job of being a parent after all. It's work and it takes some thinking and creativity. I know for me an ass kicking never worked because (a) I became tougher and it didn't bother me and (b) it was a short duration. So my dad hit me a few times? Did it stop me from doing what I wanted to do? Of course not because I knew all I would have to do was take a few wallops from the belt which would be over quickly and I could easily put up with. Once they started taking things away from me (like my freedom) then I started to think twice. But that's what motivated me.
Besides, if the message you're sending to the kid is one of "you can do what you want as long as you can kick the ass of whatever authority figure catches you" what do you think will happen?
I think we can all agree that we want the best for our kids. Each of us have diff backgrounds/environments that have helped shape who we are and how we deal with issues (same for our kids). Does it really matter what method we employ as long as the end justifies the mean? I spank ass, you don't so what? Ultimately we both want our kids to grow up and be successful adults.
Now if your kid grows up with a paranoia and can't sit still because of too many time outs oh well. And if my kid grows up to be a S/M freak, well then they'll be just like Dad. lol
I'm sure he pulled punches with his son.
My dad boxed with me as a kid. It was good reflex training and taught me how to not "shut down" when a punch is coming for your face.
We stopped sparring at the point in which I was old/big enough to hurt him... which I did.
Agreed. I grew up boxing and with karate. This is not child abuse. Not to mention, I see the opposite side of this (complete avoidance of ANY physical or even vocal discipline at all) as way worse. I have seen kids destroy an office while mom just sat there calmly saying, "please, darling, don't do that" 5,000 times over.
Honestly, a 16 year old boy is not a child.