T Nation

Borrowing Money from Family

Never do this. Trust me. Every time you buy something you have to explain yourself for the rest of your life.

Okay.

Agreed. Family should only give money as a gift not loan. Nothing tears people apart like money.

As you should homie.

Sorta like you have to explain to the bank why you missed a mortgage payment, when you spent it on the new Jordan’s.

Pay it back.

Borrowing + Payback = Family member in good standing

Borrowing - Payback = Thief

Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

Damn I wanna hit you with a fucking “Duh” stick. If I loan you $100 to cover your rent for the month and you purchase the new Madden before repaying me, you had better expect me to ask questions.

[quote]Johnny T Frisk wrote:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be.[/quote]

Well that concept would totally destroy the foundations of our financial system.

[quote]BeefEater wrote:
Damn I wanna hit you with a fucking “Duh” stick. If I loan you $100 to cover your rent for the month and you purchase the new Madden before repaying me, you had better expect me to ask questions.[/quote]

True story. My brother came home from college crying poor, Dad gave him a $1000. This was nearly thirty years ago, so a grand was worth a lot more then. Two weeks later brother rolls up with a new drum kit in his car. Dad hit the F’ing roof!

Even more bizarrely, about a month or two after that the nong loans the drum kit to some guy he just met in the pub…never saw the damn thing again. To this day I still shake my head over that one.

Where are all of these parents that lend money???

I never thought of that…how you’d have to watch what you buy…

It reminds me of when I was home (Winnipeg) for a visit last month. Lots of my family were over and we had lots of beer. But my nephew, age 27 ( but I sort of still think of him as much younger) drank quite a bit of the beer without supplying any, but I was OK with that as 24 cans of Molson isn’t too expensive and I make good money whatever…but my brothers were a little miffed.

Then my nephew came in with a bullhorn he’d bought on a lark. It cost $40. Then I was like WTF?!

Lending money within the family rarely works. The lender has to not hold it over the borrowers head for their entire life, and the borrower needs to not fuck off and make re-payment a priority.

Case in point: I bought my brother’s truck from him back when I was 18. I had very little established credit at 18, so I needed a co-signer to get the loan. Because my brother wanted the money, he agreed to co-sign. What I didn’t know was that I also agreed to have him badger the shit out of me every month as to whether I had made the payment yet so I didn’t “destroy his credit”.

After 9 months of paying extra on the loan, I got the bank to re-finance and take my brother’s name off as a co-signer. While you would think the bullshit would end there, to this day my brother thinks he basically saved my life because I bought his fucking truck from him when I never even borrowed a dime from him. I sold the truck shortly after I paid it off because I was so disgusted with him for holding something like that over my head. He still likes to bring that up from time to time. And I like to bring up that I sold the truck at a profit. :slight_smile:

I don’t borrow any money at all, so this is not a problem.

Yup my mom borrowed 4 grand from me a few years ok , I haven’t seen a dime since

Fellas, it’s only money. If a CLOSE family member needs them and you can spare some, give them to them and never expect to get payed back.

I borrowed the equivalent of $16,000 of my Dad to help with a deposit for my first house. Haven’t paid him back yet, but we signed a Deed of Trust with a solicitor that states I either pay him back the percentage worth of the house when it is sold (which it won’t be considering house prices in the UK at the moment!) or the sum of money plus a small interest 5 years down the line.

[quote]i_am_ketosis wrote:
Lending money within the family rarely works. The lender has to not hold it over the borrowers head for their entire life, and the borrower needs to not fuck off and make re-payment a priority.

Case in point: I bought my brother’s truck from him back when I was 18. I had very little established credit at 18, so I needed a co-signer to get the loan. Because my brother wanted the money, he agreed to co-sign. What I didn’t know was that I also agreed to have him badger the shit out of me every month as to whether I had made the payment yet so I didn’t “destroy his credit”.

After 9 months of paying extra on the loan, I got the bank to re-finance and take my brother’s name off as a co-signer. While you would think the bullshit would end there, to this day my brother thinks he basically saved my life because I bought his fucking truck from him when I never even borrowed a dime from him. I sold the truck shortly after I paid it off because I was so disgusted with him for holding something like that over my head. He still likes to bring that up from time to time. And I like to bring up that I sold the truck at a profit. :slight_smile:

[/quote]

Dawg… he might have been doing you a bigger favor than you realized - selling it cheaper than it was worth

Food for thought - I wouldn’t feel good bringing it up that you sold it for a profit. He may or may not feel good for bringing it up to you either

Just sayin, the nature of your post makes it seem like you’ve never even caught that possibility. Maybe your missing other things too everytime he brings it up. Maybe

My parents lost almost everything they owned when hurricane Andrew hit Homestead in '92. All us kids stepped up and helped out as much as we could, and nobody ever said another word about it.

15 years later when my mom (who outlived my father) passed away, all of us inherited a sum of money, which my mother had painfully laid aside from the small government pension my father had left her with.

I’d rather have my parents back.

On the other hand, an uncle (who had a repulsive faggy crush on me) lent me 100 bucks for new car tires which I blew on grass and beer. Fuck him.

[quote]bdocksaints75 wrote:
Yup my mom borrowed 4 grand from me a few years ok , I haven’t seen a dime since[/quote]
Holy shit that’s gotta be the worst one to lend money to. I mean she’s always got that “I brought you into fucking existence” card to play when you try to get the money back.

[quote]squating_bear wrote:

[quote]i_am_ketosis wrote:
Lending money within the family rarely works. The lender has to not hold it over the borrowers head for their entire life, and the borrower needs to not fuck off and make re-payment a priority.

Case in point: I bought my brother’s truck from him back when I was 18. I had very little established credit at 18, so I needed a co-signer to get the loan. Because my brother wanted the money, he agreed to co-sign. What I didn’t know was that I also agreed to have him badger the shit out of me every month as to whether I had made the payment yet so I didn’t “destroy his credit”.

After 9 months of paying extra on the loan, I got the bank to re-finance and take my brother’s name off as a co-signer. While you would think the bullshit would end there, to this day my brother thinks he basically saved my life because I bought his fucking truck from him when I never even borrowed a dime from him. I sold the truck shortly after I paid it off because I was so disgusted with him for holding something like that over my head. He still likes to bring that up from time to time. And I like to bring up that I sold the truck at a profit. :slight_smile:

[/quote]

Dawg… he might have been doing you a bigger favor than you realized - selling it cheaper than it was worth

Food for thought - I wouldn’t feel good bringing it up that you sold it for a profit. He may or may not feel good for bringing it up to you either

Just sayin, the nature of your post makes it seem like you’ve never even caught that possibility. Maybe your missing other things too everytime he brings it up. Maybe[/quote]

Normally I would agree with you, however, my brother is not normal. My brother sold the truck at a $1000 profit to me. Which he also bragged about. Additionally, I failed to mention that I didn’t really even want the truck, but my brother liked to nag me about how I “needed” it and “should just buy it because it’s a good truck”. I also failed to mention that at one point, his car broke down and he needed to borrow the truck from me for “a day or two at the most”, which I happily agreed too. He then had the truck for over 2 weeks, never bothered to ask me if that was ok, and then when he finally did return it, told me how big of a piece of shit it was. You know, the truck I bought from him and meticulously maintained.

As I said, all things being equal, I would agree that I look like a bit of a douche, but I really don’t think that is the case. I also believe that if you want to help someone out(which he did do to some extent), that is your reward. You don’t get to brag to everyone about how awesome you are and how great of a person you are. That’s really what rubbed me the wrong way about the whole thing. Charity is supposed to be it’s own reward, but it doesn’t seem to be enough for most people.