Does anyone deal with this and has any advice?
SO one day she comes into your life and seems to be the missing link to everything your heart desires. This long lost soul mate listens whole heartily and gives a lot of attention to the details and inner thinking of your life. Naturally, you are drawn in- you begin to take care of her and the months go by. Going out of your way to help for any type of issues; you truly are the Night in Shining Armor.
Even those ‘bad days’ when she explodes, you stand patiently by and lovingly pick up the pieces- thinking that we all have bad days. You decide to get married and then begin to notice everything was an act months after the honeymoons era wear off.
But then she stops caring about your life, and joys, and active communication, and donst make time or seem to give a shit- there is also now a ton of endless woes and horrible negative things that now seem to consume her life. Things that are only self created negative crap to get that loving attention you provide. You still respond as the Night in Shining Armor that you always have been and are, and continue to give everything of yourself. She responds and appears to show signs of love, and all is well in the world. Cycles of this continue over and over again. Except one day you stand your ground, had enough, and tell her you dont take to kindly to such treatment and dont understand why you dont care about me in return.
As if being in-Love for her, only means being pampered and treated exceptionally by yourself, while not receiving anything in return- and when that love she experiences from you is wrongly conducted (due to whatever minor triggers are received in a way that makes her feel hurt)- she explodes.
Then, she sees she is about to lose her Night in Shining armor, corrects herself, and goes back to the honeymoon mode of operation before enough time passes by. And cycles repeat- Honeymoon wonder girl. Bitch. Clinging please forgive me Make up. Repeat.
I found online this is called Borderline Personality Disorder. And trust me, since being married, i found out her past goes hand in hand with BPS. Does anyone deal with this and has any advice? sadly- 3 young kids are involved.