T Nation

Boiling over with steam

My beautiful wife, who has a job as a watress was telling me this morning about this waiter she works with. She was on her lunch break eating a bowl of soup when he comes up to her & says she’s fat & that she shouldn’t be eating. She’s 5’2’’ 122 lbs. 21%. She’s not in great shape but not a lard ass either. So I became madder than hell on the inside. I didn’t show my emotions to here though. Just said the guy is an idiot & to just pay no attention to him. I’m thinking about confronting him & telling him I’ll kick his ass if he says something like that again to my wonderful wife. I’ve seen him twice before, he’s a good looking guy. Is he flirting with her or just being a asshole? My wife went on for about 4 mins. about how he tell her all these stupid stories & what a liar he is. So, it sounds like to me he’s flirting, which I don’t like too much. What should I do? Have a talk with him & tell him to shut the hell up? Any advice welcome.

What a rude asshole! I’m not sure what you should do, but making him apologize to your wife is probably first on the list… preferrabley while groveling on the ground with your heel grinding between his shoulderblades.

If he’s flirting with your wife it’s really up to your wife to react to that first. There’s often little margin between flirting and just having fun, unless it is really obvious in which case it brings the risk of sexual harassment at the workplace (and I assume at least some of us had to take some courses on that as a job requirement). But no matter what it is - if she doesn’t like it she has to tell him to stop. And if he doesn’t stop, she should inform her boss and you can feel free to kick his ass.

i dont know about that one, big guy. is it really that damn important to risk assault charges just cuz this yahoo made a very childish remark to your wife? do you trust your wife? im assuming you do because you speak highly of her, and are married to her. so what is there to worry about? some idiot who flirts w/ her at work? nah. and she most likely thinks this guy is a royal loser b/c she tells you about all the idiotic things he does. i totally understand the anger. but let the moron be, im sure someone else w/ less to lose than you will put a dent in his skull someday. and you wont get any felony charges!

Look bub heres my answer. Of course he wants your wife you said shes hot right? But I think a direct confrontation would be the last course of action. First, you need to assert male dominance. Since you read T-mag I assume you work out. Go in there wearing a shirt with your weapons exposed. The guy is probably a pansy and will be intimidated. Dont pay any attention to him, he’ll be watching closely. Just go up, give your honey a kiss, maybe smack her ass. Then leave.

This sends a subtle signal: If he wants her, he has to go through you. I am no expert in psychology, but I suspect he will get the message. Good Luck.

Does Price Charming know that your wife is indeed taken? And has SHE confronted him and told him to knock it off yet? If so, then I’d just sit down, introduce myself and say, stonefaced, “You work with my wife. She’s mentioned you.” Then just stare directly and coldly into his eyes until he looks away. If he doesn’t get the hint, THEN you can use a more direct approach. I would just have him serve me a cup of coffee, and in lieu of a tip leave a handwritten note saying “My wife is a lady. Treat her accordingly, and I’ll let you keep all of your fingers.”

I’m usually for taking the high road and not settling issues with violence or threats of violence, however when someone fucks with your wife it’s time to step up to the plate. I say confront him and simply tell him that if he ever disrespects your wife again you will end him. Simple and to the point. Of course if he’s really large and mean you might want to tell your wife to fight her own battles.

Your wife needs to end this. Not you. If this is something that is bugging your wife - she needs to tell this guy to STOP. If a guy is annoying me in ANY way - I let him know. And you know what? It usually ends.

Sorry, but my brain shut off at ‘the told her she was fat.’ Someone telling me I’m fat doesn’t constitute flirting. He sounds like an asshole with a big mouth.

Last time i checked telling a women she’s fat was not a good pickup line. Sound like he is just a dickhead and while i’m sure you would like to beat his ass it probably would not be worth it. I would tell your wife to tell him to piss off. If he keeps it up then maybe you should talk to him.

He called her a lard ass? If he is flirting he sure has a funny way of doing it. I don’t think I have ever used that as a pick up line. You may want to have words with him or you can have the manager of the estblishment throw him out. I would concider what he is doing as plain old harrasment. Nobody should have to put up with that. I would assault him, he ain’t worth the trouble you will find yourself in. Then you will end up in trouble and he will be free to do what he wants.

I would talk to him. At that point at least you will know what you are dealing with.

Don’t sweat him. By making a huge deal of it, you just give creedence to what he is doing. Also don’t go overreacting to him unless he is rubbing up or hugging your wife. There will be many instances in your life when someone will say something stupid to you or your wife, but is it worth getting charges filed against you? You don’t have to assert your dominace until he touches your wife in a way that makes her uncomfortable. I always like to make people think I am harmless and won’t do anything to them. It is only then, when their guard is down, can really own them if you need to.

Dude…you may have problems. I hate to be the one to point it out, but if your wife is going on about how much this guy’s comments about her appearance bug her, well…chances are she’s attracted to him and I’d lay 5-3 odds he’s already been in her pants. Sorry, bud.

Thanks for the replys! All of you are very smart & have a good head on your shoulders! Your right, kicking his ass & hurting him would not be a smart thing to do. Many other ways to do it. I KNOW CALLING SOMEONE FAT ISN’T A PICKUP LINE, but some people will try that kind of phsycolgy ( will someone be so kind to give the correct spelling) out to be-friend someone so they will be accepted. I watched a whole show on this a few weeks ago. Did anyone see that? RATSO SPEAKS OUT: I’m very postive it’s not like that. He’s just a very annoying prick, that’s all. Many out there, what are we gonna do? Thanks again for the replys, you guys & gals are great. Funny as hell also!

Excuse me for repeating myself - calling someone fat IS NOT flirting. (No wonder there are so many single guys on this forum! grin)

Here is another possability have your wife tell her boss what he said and maybe the boss will fire the dude…shit like that is not for the workplace…and dude dont kick his ass cuz i dont wanna see a t man get assault charges…if you can talk to him without kickin his ass i would confront him if your wifes boss doesnt take care of it and tell him never to talk like that again…esp if you bigger than him…good luck