Sorry if I posted in the wrong section, but here’s an essay I wrote about bodybuilding. I would greatly appreciate it if someone could offer suggests on how to improve it. Oh btw, its a tad bit too long, so suggestions on what to cut out would be helpful too.
So here it is, enjoy.
College Essay Draft
I love iron. It is so unforgiving, agonizing, yet satisfying with the feel of raw pain and surging endorphins. Iron has changed me for a better man; a man with knowledge, power, and most importantly, quiet confidence. Many ask, how can such a simple and mundane material achieve such results? Let me start from the beginning.
I am batman; self made hero with a matching bulletproof personality. I always had tough cards from the start, ever since my birth at seven months weighing a delicate mere two pounds. My physical transformations were nothing less than dramatic. Along with my fondness of chips and TV, came large quantities of saggy, cholesterol filled, flab. In a blink, I changed from a starving African child replica to proud to the owner of a 31-inch waist in middle school. I had no problem with my ï¿½??slightlyï¿½?? chubby body image. Perhaps, I was occupied in living within my fabricated protective bubble. One day, the bubble burst. Those four words ignited a combustion, a burning desire for change. ï¿½??That kid has manboobs.ï¿½?? The harsh and merciless reality came to my senses; I was just another fat boy. Uneducated and desperate, I did hundreds of crunches to no avail. Instead of a rugged ripped six-pack, I developed a posterior pelvic tilt (posture problem resulted from the crunches).
Blood, sweat, and tears. These are the crucial raw ingredients for success. Nothing can compensate for hard work. Under the guidance of my college rugby-playing brother, I found a new love, my passion for weightlifting. Perhaps the most misunderstood sport of all time, weightlifting has been notorious for itsï¿½?? steroid abuse. People often associate it with oiled-up shaved gorillas in Speedos, flexing their striated and developed muscles while making facial expressions resembling those of severely constipated old men.
This could not be much further than the truth. Weightlifting, if done correctly, can illicit positive changes in the human physique, and mind without the use of any anabolic substances. Posture problems, joint aches, mental weakness, and stiff muscles, can all be relieved if not fixed through corrective and proper weight lifting. I experienced the effects first hand.
My first day. A tiny step into the gym, a remarkable step towards self-actualization. I felt out of place, inferior, and most of all, intimidated. Picking up the tiny pink dumbbells and struggling with them was itself, a feat of courage; it takes personality to subject oneself to such public humiliation, to ignore the gazing eyes and awkward laughter of others. This sense of insecurity overwhelmed me, I felt like suffocating under the pressure. Many times have I thought about giving up. However, time over time, my brother pushed me back on track. Persistence is the key to progress. Soon enough, I was pushing up decent amounts of poundage. I was my biggest competitor. Weightlifting is not a sprint, but a life-long marathon towards a healthier self. I no longer seek the recognition of others, I am self-validated; I changed.
Through weightlifting, I have gained insight into life. It is no easy task, committing myself to the gym, lifting rep after rep, day after day. Giving it all I have, every single workout, no excuses, no distractions. A weightlifter once said, ï¿½??Intensity is controlled insanity.ï¿½?? However as the poundage piled up, so did my injuries. I learned the importance of moderation and strategic planning. It is not all about training hard; it is also about training smartly. I looked beneath the surface, striving to learn everything about it. Now, educated and changed, I earned the quality of quiet confidence.