Bodybuilding: I Don't Want To Be Big Training

Bigger Stronger Leaner Competitive Bodybuilding
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This thread is dedicated to you Mr. I Don’t Want To Be Big Bodybuilder.

“Mr. I Don’t Want To Be A Big Bod-y-buil-der”

“I want to have muscles, but, I don’t WANT to be big”, you say. ( “Liftin’ those pink dumbbellss, yeah” )

Cool- Then this thread, dedicated to you, Mr. Ripped 13 Arms, will present ideas on the quickest, most efficient ways to NOT get big.

We’ve had the “Bodybuilding Bible” for those who WANT to be big, now we need the Moderately Average Non-Descript Lean and Small Bodybuilder Booklet for Those Who Want to be Less Than Big

Please, bodybuilders, let us list the things you should DEFINITELY do to NOT.BE.BIG or stand out in any way whatsoever.

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First and foremost, do NOT directly train any muscle.

Train ALL muscles indirectly for the most inefficient growth. It will result in non-optimal growth EVERYTIME!

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Remember- After you’ve not directly trained any muscles you want to grow to not be big, do NOT drink protein near the time you worked out.

For the best non-growth, do NOT injest protein throughout the day. You will grow non-optimally if at all, which will be awesome for your not-too-big physique!

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LOL

I wouldn’t even waste the money or time in this if my goals were to NOT make much progress.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:
LOL

I wouldn’t even waste the money or time in this if my goals were to NOT make much progress.[/quote]

You have failed to keep your muscles at a minimum size. If only this thread existed before you wasted all that time eating and growing.

It takes dedication and determination to want to be and stay moderately average (on average).

You’re either have it or you don’t (or somewhere in between so as not to be too extreme one way or the other).

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Via PM:

[i]Hey D,

I’ve been indirectly training my biceps for YEARS and I’m just now noticing that they’re sort of starting to Grow! I want to train, but I don’t want to get BIG and ICKY! I love having my ripped biceps be snug in my XS T-Shirt. I don’t want to move up to a huge Small.

HELP!
[/i]

OK, DON’T PANIC!

First- you may be getting just enough direct indirect arm work with the chins. Stop. In order to have more efficient non-optimal growth in your biceps, you must do squats. Yes, squats. Squats will work your biceps just enough from holding the bar on your back to induce the most minimal growth, but not TOO much.

Of course, you’ll have to eat LESS so as not to have your ASS grow. Oh, it’s not easy inducing non-optimal indirect muscle growth for not-too-bigness. It’s a fine line between almost-not-too-small and just-about-right-but-not-too-big-as-to-be-mistaken-for-a-bodybuilder-big.

Now, get your ass out of the gym and go home and don’t eat!

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1 to 1.5g per kg bodyweight of protein intake is perfectly fine every day.

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  • don’t be anti social, chat up with everyone you meet in the gym. Time well spent!
  • Keep the weights the same, every set, every time.
  • Only train the mirror muscle groups: pecs, bicepts and hawt abs. But apply rule number 1 and 2.
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I hope this thread finally scares away the type of people this thread describes lol

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[quote]Tatsu wrote:

  • Only train the mirror muscle groups: pecs, bicepts and hawt abs. But apply rule number 1 and [/quote]

OH NO! Careful. You implied that someone may train these muscles DIRECTLY.

Remember-- After curls for your neck muscles, lift shirt to check abs. (But don’t LOOK at them DIRECTLY).

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If you go to failure on a set, it doesn’t matter how heavy the weight is. Just lift a really light weight till you fail, preferably 30+ reps, and you’ll stimulate that muscle and avoid any chance of injury.

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Clearly you should only be eating healthy foods the gurus tell you to eat. Plus, you NEED to make it a priority of anally counting every single calorie and macronutrient that goes into your body!

For instance;

[u]Don’t:[/u]
Eat too much. You will get FAT.
Eat red meat. That shit gives you heart attacks, yo.
^ Same goes with eggs.
Listen to your own instincts. Other people know your body best!
Try to make your own routine. Other people know your body best!

[u]Do:[/u]
Only eat chicken, small amounts of rice, and veggies. Otherwise you’ll get fat.
Make sure you try out each new hot and popular routine.
Try out every new supplement on the market! That new one will really make you a ripped 250 lbs. (Oh wait, the goal isn’t huge… fuck.)

EDIT: Almost forgot, you must ALWAYS base your lift numbers around an arbitrary percentage some author guru gave you!!!

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[quote]SSC wrote:
Clearly you should only be eating healthy foods the gurus tell you to eat. Plus, you NEED to make it a priority of anally counting every single calorie and macronutrient that goes into your body!
[/quote]

If you don’t go to FOUR DECIMAL PLACES, you FAIL, FatAss! Or worse, you might wake up one morning and find that you’ve gotten HUGE and MUSCULAR!!! For the love of Smegma, DON’T LET IT HAPPEN!

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Don’t worry about trying to do this if you are white, unless you want to do steroids, that’s the only way white guys can get big (yep, played the racial and steroid card at once).

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[quote]GluteusGigantis wrote:
If you go to failure on a set, it doesn’t matter how heavy the weight is. Just lift a really light weight till you fail, preferably 30+ reps, and you’ll stimulate that muscle and avoid any chance of injury.[/quote]
LOL, but don’t exert yourself too hard even with those light weights the goal is to tone the muscles not to build them.

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[quote]SSC wrote:
Clearly you should only be eating healthy foods the gurus tell you to eat. Plus, you NEED to make it a priority of anally counting every single calorie and macronutrient that goes into your body!

For instance;

[u]Don’t:[/u]
Eat too much. You will get FAT.
Eat red meat. That shit gives you heart attacks, yo.
^ Same goes with eggs.
Listen to your own instincts. Other people know your body best!
Try to make your own routine. Other people know your body best!

[u]Do:[/u]
Only eat chicken, small amounts of rice, and veggies. Otherwise you’ll get fat.
Make sure you try out each new hot and popular routine.
Try out every new supplement on the market! That new one will really make you a ripped 250 lbs. (Oh wait, the goal isn’t huge… fuck.)

EDIT: Almost forgot, you must ALWAYS base your lift numbers around an arbitrary percentage some author guru gave you!!![/quote]
The chicken can only be boned skinless breast or even better yet lean white fish so you can get your tone on!

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Whenever you’re feeling like giving it your all (which you shouldn’t do too often lest you may fall short of achieving your goal of getting un-big), incorporate a X-Fit session.

If you wanna get that A-taper and small arms, do kipping pull-ups - momentum for the win.
You won’t need anything else.

  • Boss Alpha -
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A word of caution. I ate a hamburger once and gained a full inch on my arms. Stay away from hamburgers, they are worse than hard work and teh roidz.

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Do TBT all day everyday and avoid specialization like the plague.

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[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
A word of caution. I ate a hamburger once and gained a full inch on my arms. Stay away from hamburgers, they are worse than hard work and teh roidz.[/quote]

You got it all wrong: veggie burgers is where it’s at.
You dinkus.