Hi guys, this is my first post on here, but been reading alot here for a long time
So im 27yo and living in belgium.
From the moment i was 18 i did my first cycle, then few weeks later i did one cycle again. Yes indeed! I didnt take the time to recover! Stupid af! But hey i was young and didnt think of the negatives! On the end of that cycle i met my gf that i am still togheter with then i didnt cycle for a few months, even quit training for a while! Then a little before i turned 19 i got back to the gym and started cycling again and i just lived for the gains! Dedicated af! But it got completely out of hand! The gains, the good feeling, the crazy libido, i was feeling on top of the world! So i just kept on blasting and cruising till i was 24! I even was on 750mg test ew sometimes or more for more than a year! Then at the age of 24 i began thinking like wtf am i doing i need to try and come off! So i stopped everything and did a few weeks of nolvadex. (I know not enough) But fucking hell! The gains just started to melt off like it was nothing! I said fuck it i cant handle this ! So i hopped back on test on 250mg ew but then problems occured. After 15-17 months libido started crashing, sex wasnt enjoyable anymore,had problems with erections even sensivity was completely gone! So i said ok i need to come off everything do a proper pct and see where it goes. So i think at the age 26 i did the power pct from M.J. Scally. But nothing happend. Balls didnt grow, libido was gone, not possible to have an erection,… then a 6-7 weeks later i still had no libido or erections whatsoever. But i had some hcg in the fridge so i started hcg on 500iu 2x/week with 12,5mg aromasin ed, after few weeks i woke up with rockhard erection, i could masturbate again, sensitivity was back. Then i Made a huge mistake of adding a little test to it because i wanted to make a little gains again. And from day one penis sensitivity was gone again, libido was gone again. Then i thought i fucked up for good! So from then on i said lets be strong and just lay off that fucking gear(i think i was addicted af!) so now i am 7-8 months off test. In this 7-8 months i did a couple of runs with hcg nolvadex and clomid. I kept repeating the pct because my balls are still small last pct i ran was nolvadex 20mg for 6 weeks and then 4 weeks after last intake from nolva i did my first bloodwork ever! Because i wanted to see if these pct’s acctually did something!
I know i played with my hormones and i messed up shit pretty bad. On this moment i have zero libido, sometimes i wake up with semi morning wood but thats it! I hate going to the gym right now because i want to avoid people. And all i want to do is just lay in bed, i dont have energy to do anything. Sometimes verry depressed days also.
So the big question is do i need to go on trt?
If so, is it better to do self administer trt? Because in belgium trt is 1ml sustanon every 3 weeks and that sound horrible!
They dont use ai and hcg also!! And u can not inject test ny yourself! Only one who can do this is a nurse. So dont know what to do here
Here are my labs, i asked for dht but apperently they didnt do it :