Again I'm sorry that this individual did this to you. Don't feel ashamed of being shook up, you are right to feel bullied and have every right to defend yourself. Contacting your school owner would be my suggested course of action. It should be their responsibility to make sure their instructors know the types of behaviors that they will and will not tolerate in their classes. I would then also directly tell the specific instructor yourself in private before the next class if you are able to (I know this can be a difficult thing to do, so if not just trust that the owner has told them).
If you wind up getting matched up with this individual again (which honestly, as an instructor I would not do unless I had seen significant improvement in this individual's attitude, and even then I would privately ask your permission before doing so) and they still refuse to be a good training partner, then either tell them as loudly as you are able to, "Stop going so hard on me! I am here to learn, not to be your grappling dummy!" (Or whatever your own words would be to this effect) This should not only get your instructor's attention, but also somewhat embarrass him and the resulting fear of peer pressure/social pressure from the rest of the class should cause him to back off.
In other words, try to use your words first. If none of that works then use your body...get up walk away from him and flat out refuse to work with him, period! If your instructors don't understand or continue to try to pressure you to do so and do not respect you enough as a person to respect your decision, then continue walking right out the door and go to another school (and demand that they cancel your membership, they will give you grief initially but will ultimately give in to avoid you bad mouthing them all across town).
This is NOT something that you should have to deal with and again, any good Martial Arts school should not be tolerating bullying in their school! Good luck and keep us posted.
And glad your fingers are feeling better.