Idaho, your indignation is sweet. Thank you for your support and visiting my log.
Good advice all around, thank you both, Sento and Idaho. I think I’m still a bit too emotionally messed up over it to talk to the instructor. With internet anonymity I can say I was only able to avoid crying until I got to my car. Seriously haven’t cried like that in, like, a year. Maybe I’ll send an email to the owner/head instructor this weekend. I have a year and a half left with this training contract, so I should try to figure it out. Either that, or just continue taking only the one women’s gi class per week.
I usually tell my rolling partners, if even half seriously with the girls, “go easy easy on me.” I don’t know why I didn’t tell this guy and just assumed he’d err on the side of caution, maybe 'cus he was jacked I thought he’d be responsible with his jackedness. Stupid me!
Funny thing, with the tape on my fingers all day, I found myself subconsciously bending my fingers against it constantly. Fingers feel better now with no tape at all. Heh
Edit: I am just going to email the owner or the specific instructor, or both. With these large afternoon classes, the attendance fluctuates a lot and the group is not cohesive. They should really go over things like being a good team mate or rolling partner before rolling even starts. I’m an elementary teacher and even I know that. You first verbally express the behaviors you would like to see. Even when you think every one gets it, they always need effing reminders.[/quote]
Again I’m sorry that this individual did this to you. Don’t feel ashamed of being shook up, you are right to feel bullied and have every right to defend yourself. Contacting your school owner would be my suggested course of action. It should be their responsibility to make sure their instructors know the types of behaviors that they will and will not tolerate in their classes. I would then also directly tell the specific instructor yourself in private before the next class if you are able to (I know this can be a difficult thing to do, so if not just trust that the owner has told them).
If you wind up getting matched up with this individual again (which honestly, as an instructor I would not do unless I had seen significant improvement in this individual’s attitude, and even then I would privately ask your permission before doing so) and they still refuse to be a good training partner, then either tell them as loudly as you are able to, “Stop going so hard on me! I am here to learn, not to be your grappling dummy!” (Or whatever your own words would be to this effect) This should not only get your instructor’s attention, but also somewhat embarrass him and the resulting fear of peer pressure/social pressure from the rest of the class should cause him to back off.
In other words, try to use your words first. If none of that works then use your body…get up walk away from him and flat out refuse to work with him, period! If your instructors don’t understand or continue to try to pressure you to do so and do not respect you enough as a person to respect your decision, then continue walking right out the door and go to another school (and demand that they cancel your membership, they will give you grief initially but will ultimately give in to avoid you bad mouthing them all across town).
This is NOT something that you should have to deal with and again, any good Martial Arts school should not be tolerating bullying in their school! Good luck and keep us posted.
And glad your fingers are feeling better.